Sourcing dates (or hook-ups) through a dating app like Tinder, Hinge or eHarmony? Or perhaps you’re finding women to go out with IRL (like at bars, work, school, or through friends)?
No matter how you’re finding your dates, you can’t help but be skeptical. You sometimes wonder, does she like you for you, or is she merely going out with you for free meals, activities, and gifts?
What are the signs a woman is dating you for your money? Even the most obvious clues are easy to pass off as coincidence.
But we’re here to tell you – she’s not with you for the right reasons, and you should look for someone who actually wants to be with you for you if she does the following:
1) She asks you for money.
Point blank, has she ever come to you with a story that ended with a request for money? Even if she follows up with, “I’ll pay you back,” has she ever needed a loan from you, big or small?
2) She asks you for gifts.
This is particularly strange if you just started dating. Sure, a girlfriend or wife who’s been with you a while won’t have any qualms about asking you for a nice something-something for a special occasion.
But, a girl you just started dating who’s asking you for a gift for no reason at all—now that’s a definite red flag.
3) She asks you to take her shopping.
Grown women can shop alone. If she’s trying to schedule a shopping trip with you that only benefits her, you should suggest another outing.
If she presses for a shopping trip despite your best efforts to steer her another direction, then she may just be into you for your money.
4) You pay for everything and only then, does she get intimate with you.
One of the most painful signs to admit that she’s only with you for money is this very thing.
If she’s only intimate with you after you’ve given her money, a gift, or a fancy outing, her feelings for you are likely disingenuous. Sorry!
5) She is on a dating site that’s geared towards the very thing you fear.
6) She will talk to you about finances way too soon.
If she asks you how much money you make, you have to wonder why. You are right to be skeptical if this comes up when you’re still in the “getting to know you” phase.
Especially if she also mentions her financial needs.
Why are you talking about money early on in your relationship?
If you’re in a committed relationship, money talk is standard. If you’re only a handful of dates in, be concerned.
7) She is fixated on your family’s money.
If you do come from money and she knows it, be concerned if she consistently asks you about the topic.
8) She is obsessed with materialistic things.
Being a fashionista is one thing. But, if she’s wearing designer clothes exclusively and doesn’t have the money to be able to afford it?
That’s a clear sign she’s looking for someone to fork over the benjamins to maintain her expensive wardrobe.
9) She doesn’t have a job and is not even looking to work.
If she’s not currently making income and is not “in between jobs,” you have to wonder, where is the money coming from? If she has a trust fund or “family money,” you may be in the clear.
If you’re not sure of the source of her income and she has no future career pursuits, you might be the financial end game.
10) She doesn’t seem to have much of an interest in you.
Is she trying to get to know you? Does she ask you questions? Or, does your relationship seem one-sided?
If she’s only available when you plan something that benefits her or if the focus during your dates is all about her, be warned?
You are correct to question her motives. Make sure she shows a genuine interest in you.
11) Your gut is telling you something isn’t right.
You should always trust your instincts. If you feel like she’s putting on a front and only acting like she’s into you to get something in return, consider the other signs noted in this story—obvious or not.
If you can check a lot of the bullet points noted above, then it’s best to date someone else if you’re seeking someone worthy of your love and generosity.
If she is dating you for your money, what to do next
Look, if you are well off and you don’t mind splurging on your lady, there’s no shame in that game. If you’re traditional, that may be a dating arrangement you prefer.
And in this case, talk about it with her so you know you’re both on the same page.
Now if you’re not into the type of situation where you are funding your partner’s lifestyle, it’s time to recognize what’s happening and take action.
No, don’t accuse her out of nowhere. And no, don’t just ghost her either. Neither is a good look, and you should aim to be the bigger, better person always.
Be honest about your feelings. Tell her what you’re sensing. Explain that you feel like she may be using you for what’s in your wallet.
Consider how she responds. Will she be honest and admit it? Will she defend herself and say she genuinely likes you?
If she says she is interested in you for you, continue dating. Proceed with caution though and study how she treats you. Take note of how often she reaches for the check.
What to do to keep “sugar babies” at bay
If you’re not already familiar, there is a term for serial daters who are dating for monetary rewards and gifts. They’re called, “sugar babies” and, the more offensive, “gold diggers.” They seek men who will fully or partially fund their lifestyle.
While some sugar babies want to be in committed relationships with their “sugar daddies,” their primary motive is not typically love. It’s financial support.
If you don’t want to be someone’s sugar daddy, follow these tips to avoid sugar babies:
- Make good choices. Prevention starts early. That means, if you don’t want be someone’s cash cow, use your best judgment before you commit to a partner.
After the first couple of dates, ask yourself, is this woman materialistic? Can you tell what her motives are?
- Don’t always take her out on fancy dates. While it’s so easy to fall into the trap of “wining and dining” your dates, don’t. Plan a variety of dates that range from splurge-worthy to free.
See how your date behaves during the less expensive outings. Will she be “down,” or miserable?
- Don’t flaunt your finances. If you are well off, keep it on the DL until you’re in a more serious relationship.
If you emphasize fancy things or talk about the money you make, you’ll attract those who want a piece of it.
- Be honest with who you’re dating. Tell her that you are looking for something real.
And while you don’t mind picking up the tab most of the time, be clear that you want a mutual connection. You both have to reciprocate feelings and funds.
- Go dutch, and see how she responds. This may be a controversial recommendation if you’re the traditional type. One way to know she’s only seeing you for freebies is if she acts angry about splitting the tab.
Now, you know how to spot a woman who’s dating you only for your bank account. We leave it to you to make good choices.
Do you want to be her income source? Or, would you prefer an independent woman who just likes you for who you are and your special connection?
The latter is better for a long-lasting relationship with trust and respect.