When it comes to married men, it can be difficult to read their intentions and what they actually want.
Does he want you to leave him and his wife alone? Or is he secretly hoping that you will go after him and try to chase him?
Either way, it’s complicated – he’s married after all. But I’m not here to judge, these situations are never black and white.
To make things a bit easier for you, there are a few signs you can look out for that he wants you to chase him if you find yourself in that situation!
1) He acts nervous around you
One way to tell if a married man is secretly hoping that you will chase him is by how he behaves around you.
If you notice that he gets nervous around you, that could be a sign that he is attracted to you but doesn’t want you to know.
It could also be a sign that he is feeling guilty and doesn’t know how to act around you.
You see, if he is hoping that you will chase him and make the first move, he may feel nervous around you because he doesn’t want to give himself away.
A married man who secretly wants you to make the first move and break the ice may also avoid eye contact with you because he doesn’t want to be too obvious.
He’s afraid that he will give himself away. He doesn’t want you to know how much he is attracted to you, or he doesn’t want to be too obvious about his interest in you.
This one is a prime sign that he is super attracted to you. The thing is, a man doesn’t get overly nervous around a woman unless she has some sort of strong effect on him.
The only problem with this sign, and a fair warning, is that some married men might be really attracted to you and nervous, but they still don’t want you to infringe on their marriage.
If you pay attention to the other signs, you can tell if he is hoping that you will make the first move.
He may be nervous around you, but if he also avoids eye contact with you, it may not be a good sign.
A man who wants you to make the first move and chase him will look right at you when speaking with you or looking at you.
But his behavior might give him away in other ways, as well…
2) He acts like a bachelor
Another sign that a married man secretly wants you to go after him is that he acts like a bachelor.
If he talks about how much he misses the single life and how he wishes he didn’t get married, this could be a sign that he regrets his decision and wants to escape his marriage.
An example of this would be if you two were talking about your dating life or single friends, and he starts to talk negatively about his marriage.
He may say things like, “I can’t believe I got married. I was so much happier when I was single. I had no idea what I was doing.”
This could be a way for him to indirectly tell you that he wishes he was still single and that he doesn’t want to be married.
This could also be a sign that he is miserable in his marriage and wants to leave his wife.
Now: if a man is truly happy in his marriage, he won’t be complaining too often about his marriage.
In fact, many married men will talk about how much they love their wives and how much they love their life together.
Although some men may seem to be complaining about their marriage, they may just be sharing a little bit of themselves with you in order to get closer to you.
But a man who turns into a full-blown bachelor and down-talks marriage and everything that has to do with it may be trying to get you to chase him.
He may be telling you that he doesn’t want to be married because he secretly wants you to go after him and make the first move.
And he may say these things in order to try and get you into his life, or even have a conversation with you about breaking his marriage up.
If a man is hoping that you will make the first move and chase him, he may talk negatively or gossip about his wife.
Now that we’re already talking about bachelor behavior, that brings me to my next point:
3) He flirts with you
If a married man is secretly hoping that you will go after him and make the first move, you may notice that he flirts with you.
He might try to flirt with you on your date or in person. He may also send you flirty texts or emails.
He might also try to get close to you by hugging you or sitting very close to you when you are hanging out.
A married man who is secretly hoping that you will go after him and make the first move may flirt with you because he wants to make you feel turned on.
He wants to get you excited and make you want him so that you will make the first move and break the ice.
If he’s already flirting with you and you are not responding, he may be trying to go even further to make you more excited.
The thing is, when a married man is at the point of full-blown flirting with you, that’s usually a pretty big sign that he wants you to chase him, even though he’s married.
I say usually because there is the occasional exception to the rule where a couple flirts openly with other people but never intends to take things further.
The problem with that is that it sends the wrong message. If a man is flirting with you, but he has no intentions of going any further than that, it’s confusing.
But don’t worry, this happens rather rarely, usually, it’s a pretty clear-cut sign that he wants you to chase him.
Especially when he badmouths his wife or marriage, as well…
4) He talks about how unhappy he is in his marriage
This could be a sign that he is unhappy in his marriage and wants out.
If a married man is secretly hoping that you will go after him and make the first move, he may talk about how unhappy he is in his marriage.
He may say things like, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” “I wish she would just let me go,” or “I can’t stand living with her.”
This could be a way for him to indirectly tell you that he wants to break up with his wife.
He may be hoping that you will go after him because he thinks you are the type of person who would help him break up his marriage.
You see, men who are at the point of talking really bad about their wives and marriage have crossed a line.
They’ve now taken their marriage problems outside of the marriage and have started to talk about them with other women.
A man wouldn’t do this unless he was really unhappy or really wanted out of his marriage, or he wanted badly to get away from his wife.
A guy this unhappy is secretly hoping for you to come and save him, trust me.
But if that’s not enough proof for you, the next point will be.
5) He makes excuses to see you in person
Another sign that a married man is secretly hoping that you will go after him is that he makes excuses to see you in person.
He may tell you that he has to do things with his family, his kids, his friends, or his wife, but then he finds an excuse to see you.
He may also invite you to social events where he knows that there will be other people.
He may want to spend time with you one-on-one, but he doesn’t want to make it too obvious or risk losing you as a friend.
If he invites you to a social event and there will be other people there, you can take that as a hint that he really likes you.
He may want to spend time with you, but he doesn’t want things to get too serious or go too fast.
The thing is, a married man with pure intentions of staying faithful will not engage in such behaviors.
If a man is trying to make it obvious that he likes you, he will not try and get in-person time with you or invite you to events with other people.
He will also not make excuses to see you. He doesn’t want to call or text you all the time and hint at his interest.
He may talk with other women, but even if he is genuinely interested in one woman, he will respect the boundaries of his relationship.
6) He shows signs of wanting to make a move but doesn’t
Okay, this next one is pretty obvious again.
If a married man is secretly hoping you will go after him, he may show signs of wanting to make a move but doesn’t.
You may be hanging out with him one-on-one, and it could seem like things are going really well between you two.
Then, all of a sudden, he will start to act really weird and awkward.
He will probably try to end the evening as soon as possible by making something up like he has to work early the next morning.
This could be a sign that he wants to make a move but doesn’t want to be too forward.
He wants to make sure that you are attracted to him and that you want to be around him. He doesn’t want to risk scaring you away by making a move.
You might also notice that he might be about to ask you out, but then he becomes weird, awkward, and scared.
A man who is truly hoping you will make the first move will not try to make a move himself.
If he really likes you, he is going to wait for you to make the first move because he’s not going to risk scaring you off.
He might be self-conscious because of his marriage and so he hopes that you get the hint and will chase him.
Speaking of getting the hint, the next point is pretty obvious:
7) He tries to look good around you
Another sign that a married man secretly wants you to go after him is that he tries to look good around you.
He may want to make an effort to look nice when he sees you, or he may start dressing differently.
He may shower more often, shave more often, or start wearing cologne. He may also try to put on a lot of charm and be extra nice and friendly around you.
You may notice that he suddenly starts dressing nicer and making more of an effort when you are around.
In general, he may also start paying more attention to his overall appearance.
This could be a sign that he wants to make sure he looks good for you and that he wants you to appreciate him.
But it’s not just about his looks, per se, you will also notice little gestures like fixing his hair when you walk into the room or brushing something off his shoulder when you approach him.
A man who is trying to impress you genuinely is going to make sure that he has good hygiene and puts on nice clothes and cologne because it shows that he cares about himself.
It’s simple, a man who is secretly hoping you will go after him, even if he does care about his appearance, is going to try especially hard to look good around you.
8) He asks about your dating life
This next one is pretty obvious.
If a married man is secretly hoping that you will go after him, he may ask about your dating life and try to get you to talk about your love life.
He may ask you things like, “Are you seeing anyone?” or “Anyone special in your life?” He may also try to get you to talk about your love life and your dating experiences.
You see, he may try to get you to talk about your ex-boyfriends or past relationships.
He may ask you if you have many dating apps and want to know which ones you use.
This man may even want to know how many people you talk to and how many people ask you out.
If he asks you any of these questions, it could be a way for him to subtly gauge how interested you are in dating and if you are getting attention from other people.
Now: if you are really close friends, this could obviously just be sheer interest.
However, normal friends or acquaintances, they don’t ask about this many details unless they really care about you.
A man who is secretly hoping that you will make the first move is going to ask about your dating experience.
He might want to know if there are many guys hitting on you because he may be jealous of their attention.
But if that is the case, you’ll notice that in his body language, which brings me to my next point:
9) His body language gives it away
Another sign that a married man secretly wants you to go after him is that his body language gives it away.
If he sits or stands really close to you, touches you a lot, or if he holds eye contact with you for too long, he may be very obvious about his attraction to you.
His body language may also be really closed off. He may avoid looking you in the eyes or he may cross his arms and keep his body language really stiff.
He may also avoid touching you or sitting near you. In that case, it might seem like he doesn’t want you, but he may use his body language to let you know that he wants you to make the first move.
He may want you to make the first move but doesn’t want to ask you to make a move. This could be a way for him to give you a subtle hint that he is interested in you without having to say it out loud.
Now: reading body language is pretty easy, but it requires some practice.
If he is blatantly hitting on you, you know exactly what he is doing.
However, if he is subtle about his body language, it may be hard to tell if he wants you to go after him.
10) He pulls away but then reels you in again
Last but not least, if a married man is secretly hoping that you will go after him and chase him, he might have a pattern of pulling away from you, just to then give you attention again.
He may pull away from you on purpose and then come back, which may make you think that he doesn’t like you anymore.
Or he may be shy and nervous around you, so throughout the entire time together, he will try to act normal, even if he secretly wants to stay close to you.
This constant push-and-pull dynamic is a surefire sign that he wants you to chase him, believe me!
What now?
Now that you know the signs a married man wants you to chase him, it’s up to you to decide what to make of this info.
Will you use it as a sign to finally drop this subject because it’s getting too complicated? Or are you going to actually go after him?
Either way, try to listen to what your heart has to say about the issue.
And most importantly, remember that if you actually fall in love with him, he is the kind of person who cheats on his wife!
Of course, people can change, but ask yourself now if you could ever truly trust him, because that’s important!
