10 warning signs a married man is a player

Have you noticed that a married man has been flirting with you recently?

It’s like he always takes time to pay attention to your needs, tries to make you feel comfortable, and gives you thousands of compliments. Still, something doesn’t feel right. 

Well, if you have a feeling that he’s not totally sincere with you, then it might be a player.

Unfortunately, players fake interest, manipulate situations, and mislead people without remorse or guilt. 

That’s why I decided to share 10 warning signs a married man is a player to help you understand whether you’re safe or if he’s playing you.

1) He tells you he loves you but doesn’t show it

Did he already tell you he loves you even though you’ve just started a relationship?

If so, then something is not right.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the most obvious sign that a married man is a player is that he tells you at the beginning of the relationship.

Most importantly, he tells you he loves you but doesn’t show it.

I mean, people do fall in love immediately after they meet. But what if he doesn’t show any signs of it and only tells you about his feelings?

Besides, scientifically, it takes about 97 days to fall in love with a person. Have you ever been dating long enough to know if you are in love with him?

Just think about it.

If he’s a player, chances are that he told you that he loved you shortly after you two first met.

This is why you should ask yourself, “Does he love me?” rather than blindly follow his words.

How can I explain this?

Well, a player has a lot of fake feelings.

That’s why you shouldn’t trust him when he says he loves you.

After you’ve had a brief relationship with him, he might start saying things like “I love you,” “I want to be with you forever,” and other similar things.

However, he doesn’t love you. It’s obvious. He’s just playing with your emotions.

His love is fake and doesn’t come with action. As a result, you get false love and nothing more.

If you want to know whether he truly loves you, observe how he acts around you.

Does he show his affection and care for you?

Look for signs.

If you don’t see any affection or care from him, he doesn’t love you. And in this case, you need to reflect on your relationship and decide whether it’s worth dating that married guy.

2) He’s always on his phone when you’re together

Have you noticed that a married man is always on his phone when you are together?

Even if you’re having a great time together, he seems to be distant and distracted. He rarely looks at you and spends most of his time on his phone.

In this situation, you might naturally wonder what he’s doing on his phone.

Well, if he’s really a player, then the answer is simple — he’s texting another girl or talking to someone on the other side of the phone while he’s with you, just have told you that he loves you.

But that’s not really a sign of love, right?

So, here’s the thing:

If he’s always on his phone when you two are together, then it’s a sign that a married man is a player.

And if it happens frequently, then there is no doubt that he’s cheating on you and his wife at the same time.

During that time on the phone, he just flirts with other women and shares his ideas with them in order to get their attention.

It makes me wonder why he doesn’t want to share those things with you. Is it because you’re bored? Or is it because he wants to keep them for himself? I don’t think so!

And don’t even think about these sorts of things!

The reason is that he’s a player and he can’t keep his attention on a single woman. After all, that’s why he decided to start a relationship with you when he already has a wife.

Although this isn’t a fact, if your man keeps texting or calling someone else while you’re both together, then you should be suspicious of him. 

This might be the reason why he’s not paying attention to your needs and feelings. ​ That’s why if your man is obsessed with his phone while you’re together.

3) He shows no commitment to the relationship

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Speaking of chatting with other girls while he’s spending time with you, another obvious sign that a married man is a player is when he doesn’t show commitment to the relationship.

In simple words, a player will never show his commitment to you. He’ll do everything to keep you in the relationship. But he won’t put his efforts into making it official.

He’ll try to convince you that you’re better off as friends. Or he might tell you that he’s not ready for a relationship.

If any of these situations apply to your relationship, it means that he’s a player. He’s not interested in building a strong relationship with you. He’s only interested in having an affair.

So guess what?

If you’re not sure about his commitment, keep an eye on him. If, after a few weeks or months, he still shows no commitment, it’s time to walk away from the relationship.

But why is commitment so important in a relationship with a man who has a wife?

Well, commitment is the most important element in any relationship. It’s a sign of respect and love.

A man who shows commitment to a woman respects her cares about her and loves her. The same goes for a woman who shows commitment to a man. She respects him, cares about him, and loves him.

That’s why if a married man is not showing his commitment to you — he has already committed to his wife but it turns out, his commitment wasn’t so strong after all, since he started a relationship with you.

But I have to tell you something — there’s no way that your relationship is going to work if you can’t feel intimacy. And intimacy, in turn, is closely related to commitment.

That’s what the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê explained in his insightful free video about Love and Intimacy. While taking his masterclass, he convinced me that instead of fixing my relationship with my partner, I should have started with myself and worked on the relationship I had with myself.

Just think about it.

Why would you be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you and hasn’t even committed to you? That’s why you might need to work on yourself first.

And trust me, his masterclass will help you find ways to construct a fulfilling relationship instead of being in constant doubt about a married man’s personality.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) He showers you with compliments, but constantly criticizes you

When a married man is a player, “I love you” isn’t the only thing he tells you without meaning it.

In fact, another thing he does all the time is giving you compliments and then criticizing you for being the same person he said he loves.

What’s more, he’ll treat you like a queen in bed and then treat you like trash in public.

Sounds like something he would do?

Well, then this might be an obvious sign that he’s a player.

The truth is that if you’re a person who loves words of flattery, you’ll find a person who showers you with compliments very attractive.

And it’s natural — whether we like it or not, we all fall for compliments. What’s the reason?

Scientists have found that receiving compliments activates specific parts of our brain that are also get activated when we receive a monetary reward.

This means that we perceive compliments as something rewarding. So, no wonder why you fall for his shower of compliments.

However, if the person is a player, he’ll use flattery as a tool to manipulate you.

He’ll say nice things about you to make you feel special. And you’ll actually believe him. But at the same time, he’ll criticize you in different ways.

For example, he’ll tell you that you need to be more independent or that you’re not good enough for society.

When he criticizes you, it’s a sign that he’s faking his feelings.

He’s just interested in your emotions and doesn’t care about your feelings. If you find yourself in this situation, stay away from him.

So basically, he makes sure you know how pretty and hot you are, how much he likes your sense of humor, and how charming he finds your personality.

But then, the compliments stop and he starts criticizing everything about you. He complains about your weight, says that your dress is ugly or that your hair looks messy.

He makes fun of what you say or mocks your opinions. He tells you to be quiet when other people are around just to make yourself look good in front of them.

His insults hurt your feelings, but he doesn’t care because it gives him more power over you.

He’s just playing with your emotions.

And it’s hurting you so much. But you don’t deserve to be an object of someone else’s desires.

So try to think about it and change the way your relationship works because it’s a clear sign that he’s playing you!

5) He’s physically and verbally abusive

I don’t even doubt that the fact that he’s criticizing you after giving you compliments is making you feel terribly bad.

But want to know what’s worse?

Sometimes he gets not only verbally but physically abusive around you.

If this is what really happens, I’m going to tell you something straightforward right now:

If your partner is ever verbally or physically abusive to you, it’s time to leave him. And you should do it without a second thought!


Because verbal abuse includes constant nagging, criticizing, and blaming you for everything. It’s a sign that he’s using words to hurt you emotionally.

Physical abuse is even more dangerous. If your partner throws things at you, slaps you, punches you, or hits you, you’re dealing with an abusive person.

Such a relationship is undoubtedly toxic, and it is going to significantly damage your mental and physical health.

The truth is that if your partner is a player, he might not know how to control his feelings. In addition, he might like to have control over you.

So, he’ll keep abusing you until you start fearing him. If you find yourself in this situation, leave him. You’re not safe.

And most importantly, you should try to find strength in yourself and tell his wife about this because chances are that he’s doing the same with her.

Just remember, you deserve better and don’t let him do the same with you.

6) He complains that his wife doesn’t take care of him

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Now let’s discuss another sign connected with his relationship with his wife.

Has your married man ever mentioned that his wife doesn’t take care of him?

Maybe he complains about his wife and how she doesn’t love him like she used to. Or, maybe he says that his wife doesn’t do enough to make him happy.

Now, if these complaints come from a married man, it’s a big red flag.

The thing is that players don’t want to be tied down to one woman. And they’ll do anything to avoid that situation.

And one thing is for sure:

If your partner is married, he’ll definitely complain about his wife.

However, if you notice that he only complains about how his wife doesn’t take care of him, it’s a red flag.


Because he’s just doing it to find out whether you’re willing to take the place of his wife. If you’re willing to do so, it means that you’re interested in becoming a mistress — which is a huge red flag.

A player is always thinking about getting a new mistress. That’s why he desperately wants his wife to leave him. If you notice that he’s constantly complaining about his wife, leave him before it’s too late.

So, if your married man complains that his wife takes care of him less and less, it might mean that he’s looking for an excuse to file for divorce.

And if you become his mistress or second wife after the divorce, you’ll find yourself in an unhealthy relationship with a player who’s looking for someone else to satisfy his needs.

7) He talks about his wife in negative terms

Let’s continue with his relationship with his wife and see how it can prove that he’s a player who’s using you to get a quick fling.

Does your married man talk about his wife in negative terms? Or, does he make fun of her or call her names?

If a married man talks about his wife in negative terms, this might be another big sign that he’s a player.

He might say that his wife is too possessive, needy, and insecure, or that she doesn’t understand him.

On the other hand, he might complain about her lack of attention and how she’s always obsessed with her job.

And this really sounds like a paradox, right?

Therefore, you shouldn’t believe him! 

He might be saying this because he wants to make you feel sorry for him or to make you feel like he’s a victim in his own marriage.

He might also try to get your sympathy and convince you that he’s not happy with his marriage and that it’s all his wife’s fault.

The simple truth is that a player will never positively talk about his wife because he doesn’t care about her. He only cares about himself and the women that are after him.

That’s why he’ll do anything to get them into bed—including making fun of his own wife. 

And if you become one of these women, it’s a big red flag that you’re dealing with a player who has no intention of leaving his marriage for you.

So, it’s time for you to start thinking about calling it quits before things get out of hand!

8) He never invites you to his house

At a first glance, it’s quite obvious why married men never invite you to their house. 

They don’t want you to see their wife, kids, or anything else that could give you a hint of their real life at home.

But there’s another reason: if he wants to have a serious relationship with you, then why is it a problem for him to invite you to his house?

After all, he never hesitates to visit you in your own house and spend time with you there.

Well, the reason is that he has never told his wife about you. Maybe he promises you that he will end his ongoing marriage and explain everything to his wife, but he never does that.

He just doesn’t want to have an affair with you, he wants to have a serious relationship with you.

He needs to make sure that his wife is not going to find out about his affair, so she can’t catch him red-handed.

So, here’s the thing:

If you want to visit him at home, does he always find a reason not to invite you over? Or does he always find excuses like being too busy or not having time?

If so, then something is wrong.  A married man who likes you will make time for you and invite you over without any hesitation. 

He’ll do everything possible to make time for the two of you as much as possible. 

That’s because he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. But a player doesn’t have that kind of intention in mind.  He only wants what he can get from the relationship and doesn’t care about your feelings at all. 

And if you see his house, then he will have no excuses for not inviting you over again. He might even have to take care of his kids and do other family-related stuff.

That’s exactly why he always avoids mentioning his friends or family members.

So, if a married man tends to refuse to introduce you to his family, consider it a red flag because this probably means that he’s a player.

9) He’s always asking for a favor but doesn’t return the favor

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Sadly, inviting himself into your house is just one of the multiple things he enjoys asking you while dating.

But let me take a wild guess.

When you first met him, he was very nice and helpful to you. You might have thought that he’s the perfect gentleman.

However, as time passes by, you start to notice that he only asks for favors from you but never returns the favor. He also doesn’t seem to care about your needs at all. 

He’ll ask for a favor or he’ll be nice to you, but when it comes time to return the favor, you won’t see him again.

Does this sound familiar?

The fact of the matter is that most married men enjoy asking for favors from women.

They’re not used to returning favors, so they make a habit of asking for favors and never returning them.

And this means he’s simply using you because you care to satisfy his needs and wants.

Many women are blind to this and believe that men are actually nice and caring. They don’t realize that he’s only pretending to be nice just to get what he wants from you.

But hopefully, you realize that he’s a player and that’s one of the ways he gets what he wants from you.

10) You feel like you deserve better and that he doesn’t care about your feelings anyway

And the final sign is completely related to your intuition and gut feeling. You know, when you feel like something is wrong, you should trust your intuition.

That’s why it’s important to notice the subtle signs that a player is trying to fake interest in you.

For example, he always makes time for you, texts and calls you constantly, and pays attention to your needs as if he really cares about your feelings.

But all of these things seem too good to be true. You may think that he’s just being nice and charming, but some other warning signs make us think otherwise.

Here are a few:

  • He wants to spend more time with you but doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions.
  • He doesn’t tell the truth even when he knows it exists.
  • He starts avoiding conversations or ignoring your questions.
  • He has a weird obsession with you as if he can’t get enough of spending time with you.
  • He tries to get close to every single female in his life.

And these are just a few of the reasons why you might have a feeling that something is wrong with your relationship.

I’m sure that if he’s constantly faking his feelings for you, you’ll start to feel like you deserve better.

At some point, you’ll notice that he’s not interested in taking care of your emotions. He doesn’t care about how you feel or what you want.

And when you feel like you deserve better, it means that you’re not safe. You should leave him before it’s too late. Before he hurts you more than you can handle.

If you’re sure that you deserve better, leave him. Why? Because he’s another player who’s playing with your emotions!

Final words – be careful and trust your gut feeling

As you can see, the signs mentioned above will help you understand whether your partner is a player or not.

If the person you’re dating exhibits any of these red flags, it’s time to run away fast!

Just try to be careful, trust your gut feeling and avoid being an object of his ugly game.

Remind yourself that you deserve better and walk away from the relationship as soon as possible before it’s too late.

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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