18 signs a married man cares for you

When you’re dating a married man, trust is hardly guaranteed.

He might be out with you for reasons other than affection or he may not want to continue the relationship because of his wife.

Regardless of what concerns you, you will probably want to know if he has genuine feelings for you before continuing your relationship.

Luckily, there are some things that give it away!

Here are 18 signs to help determine if a married man cares about you:

1) He makes you a priority

If you’ve been dating for a while, you’ll notice that he makes you a priority in his life.

If you’re an afterthought or an inconvenience, you’ll know. If he makes you a priority, he will put you on the top of his list.

He will make time for you, even if his schedule is packed.

He will also be willing to compromise, like going to your book club or participating in the hobbies you enjoy. If he makes you a priority, you’ll know it.

You see, this goes for any man, not just a married man.

If he makes you a priority, he’s showing that he’s interested in your life and wants to make sure that you’re happy.

He doesn’t want his relationship to be one-sided and it most likely won’t be.

That’s when you know you are actually being cared for. But that’s not the only sign…

2) He listens to what you have to say

When a married man cares for you, he will listen to what you have to say and respond accordingly.

He will be paying attention to the words that are coming out of your mouth.

He will not just be zoning out as you speak.

You can tell when a man is truly listening to you. He will be engaged, and he will be asking follow-up questions to engage you in conversation.

Usually, you’ll notice that he will have an opinion about the topic you’re talking about.

He will give you feedback and opinions on your life, and he will be genuinely interested in what you have to say.

This is important because a lot of married men who have an affair will simply go ahead and try to use you for your body just to then leave you hanging.

But listening to you will not be the only effort he is making!

3) He’s constantly making an effort to see you

If he is making an effort to see you more often, he cares about you.

If he wants to see you but he’s too busy to make time for you, that’s another story.

If he wants to see you more often, he will try to make the time work for him.

He will be willing to work around his work schedule, kids, and wife. He will try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

You see, even though he might not have a ton of time apart from his other responsibilities, he’ll at least make an effort.

If he’s making an effort to see you more often, then he truly cares about your happiness.

You’ll know that he’s putting in the effort because it will be obvious.

4) He remembers little details about you

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One thing is for sure: If he remembers little details about you, he’s probably in love with you.

If he’s always asking questions about your childhood or your past relationships, it’s because he wants to know more about you.

He wants to know everything there is to know about you.

You see, he wants to know what makes you laugh, what annoys you, and what makes you cry.

If he’s asking you questions, he wants to know you on a deeper level. He wants to know what makes you, you.

This is beautiful because apart from wanting to know these things, he’ll actually remember them!

It’s a mutual love that he’ll want to treasure for the rest of his life.

This is pretty obvious and something he can’t hide very well.

Speaking of things you can’t hide very well, watch his body language!

5) His body language gives it away

The way he holds his body and carries himself can tell you if he cares about you.

If his body language is straight, he’s paying attention to what you have to say.

If he’s slouching or fidgeting with his hands, he’s probably bored.

You see, if his arms are open and he’s facing you, he wants you to feel comfortable.

When his arms are crossed and he’s looking away, he’s not interested in what you have to say.

If he has a smile on his face and his eyes are focused on you, he’s happy to be in your company.

These little cues are really good to know when trying to figure out a married man’s feelings, as they are easy to recognize.

If a married man cares about you, he will most likely be showing it!

6) He wants to know about your dating life

I can say one thing for certain, and that’s if he asks you how your dating life is going, he is genuinely interested.

If he doesn’t show much interest in your dating life, he probably doesn’t care if you date a bunch of people.

If he is genuinely interested in your dating life, he wants you to be with him.

You see, even though he’s in a whole marriage, married men who truly care about you will actually get a little jealous when you start dating other men.

Even though that might make them hypocrites, it’s still just their emotions.

Speaking of jealousy:

7) He finds flaws with everyone you’re dating

If he finds flaws with every guy you’re dating, he’s not trying to be a bad person.

He probably wants you to be with someone who cares about you (which is him!).

You see, men are relatively straightforward. If they like you, they don’t want you with anyone else.

Will they always say that outright? Not necessarily, they’ll just try to convince you not to date these other people anymore!

You see, if he cares about you, the thought of you with someone else will drive him crazy.

So much so, that he’d do anything to sabotage that relationship without being too obvious – which usually shows up as him criticizing the guys you are dating.

8) When he does see you, it’s quality time

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If he only sees you when he has free time, he probably doesn’t care much about you. But you know, life does get in the way and it’s normal to sometimes be a bit busy, given the family and all.

What’s important is to gauge how the time he spends with you is working.

If he’s only hanging out with you when he has nothing else planned, it probably means that he doesn’t want anyone to find out about your relationship.

If he sees you when he has some time to kill, it means nothing.

However, if he plans elaborate dates or even just spends his time with you focused, it means that he really wants you.

He wants you to be happy and to be with him, so he takes special care in planning nice dates for the two of you.

This is something to keep in mind because if a man truly cares about you, he will want to spend quality time with you.

Speaking of wanting to spend time with you:

9) He drops everything to see you

If he drops everything to see you, it means that he cares about you.

If he is willing to forgo everything he has planned just to be in your company, he probably wants to be with you.

Simply put, if he is willing to drop everything and see you, he probably wants to see you more often. He may not know how to tell you that he wants to spend more time with you.

Now: don’t be upset if he doesn’t always drop everything for you. He has a life and a wife and everything, you know.

However, if you are feeling bad and he tries to help you out, it means that he cares about you.

Another sign that he truly cares about you?

10) He calls you just to check in and see how your day is going

If he calls you just to check in, he probably wants to make sure that your day is going smoothly.

If he wants to know what’s happening in your life, he probably wants to know you better.

The thing is, if he didn’t genuinely care about you, he could probably care less about whether you are doing okay or not, the only interactions he’ll have with you are about meeting up.

If he wants to know how your day is going, however, he probably cares about you.

Think about it: what reason would a guy have to ask you about your day if he didn’t care about you at all?

That’s right, you’ve probably already figured it out.

He has no reason to ask you about your day unless he truly likes you a lot.

11) He’s honest with you

When a guy cares about you, you’ll notice that he’s honest with you. He doesn’t hide things from you and is willing to be open about his feelings and emotions.

Honesty is a really big part of any relationship, so a guy who cares about you will not only be honest with you, he’ll also give you the benefit of the doubt.

This is something that’s hard to fake, so watch out, especially if he says “I care about you.”

Even when they’re trying to avoid a tricky situation, they will keep some kind of sincerity in their words.

That shows that they are actually sincere in their words and will be honest with you moving forward.

12) He wants to spend time with you alone

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If he makes time for the two of you, it shows that he cares about your relationship and wants to spend time alone with you.

It will also show that he is willing to put his wife on the back burner for a little while because he has chosen to be with you instead of her!

You see, spending time with you alone (and not always necessarily to be intimate), is a big sign that he is willing to put his wife behind you for a bit.

It also shows that he cares about you a lot, and wants to make you a priority!

13) He tells people about your relationship

If a married man is happy in his relationship, then he will want everyone else to know about it!

If you are dating a married man, then chances are pretty good that other people in his life that are important to him know about it too, like friends or family members that may have met or seen him out with you before!

Now: if the whole thing is still a secret, this is obviously not a proper option, but maybe he’ll still tell his best friend.

The thing is, once he starts telling people about your relationship, that’s a pretty surefire sign that he likes you and sees a future with you.

Think about it, why else would he risk his marriage (and any other relationships) by being with you?

He’s already putting a lot on the line just to see you – that means he cares!

On that note:

14) He is willing to make sacrifices for you

If a married man cares for you, he will be willing to make sacrifices for your relationship.

He will put in the work and effort that it takes for a relationship to work out.

He may not want to leave his wife, but if he cares about you, he won’t let that stop him from giving your relationship his all.

Those sacrifices he makes can be big or small, depending on the context, but the fact that he is going out of his way for you is a big thing!

You shouldn’t take it for granted – most married men will only want to be with someone else when it’s super convenient. As soon as an obstacle comes up (like his wife), then he starts putting your relationship on the back burner.

But if he is willing to make sacrifices for you because he cares about you, then that means a lot.

How else would such a strong man be willing to put his marriage and any other relationships behind him?

15) He makes you feel cherished

He will do anything to make you feel special and cherished, so even though it may seem like an intimate gesture on its own, it’s more than that.

When a married man goes out of his way to make you feel special, it means that he cares about you and wants to be with you.

He may not want to be with his wife and any other relationship, but he doesn’t let that stop him from trying to make you feel good all the time.

This, of course, can be a little difficult because everybody will have different expectations of what makes somebody feel special or cherished, but if he makes an effort, that’s a good sign!

16) He avoids talking about his wife

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Another big sign that this married man actually cares about you and your feelings is that he will avoid talking about his wife.

It might be hard to think about, but this is a pretty big sign that he actually cares about your feelings.

This might sound cliché, but it’s true: a person who is sincerely interested in you and your feelings will avoid talking about his wife because they want to make you feel special – it’s just the right thing to do in general!

He doesn’t want you to think about her and he doesn’t want her to be part of “the picture” – so he tries to avoid that topic at all costs.

17) He gives you gifts

Another sign that he wants to be with you and doesn’t want to be with his wife anymore is that he gives you gifts.

A gift is usually a little gesture that shows someone cares about somebody else. It could mean they’re interested in the person, they like them enough to make an effort.

It can be anything from tickets to concerts or giving a nice gift card just because.

Maybe he will buy you clothes or even gift you a little weekend trip.

Whatever the case, if a married man starts giving you presents, that’s a good sign that he actually cares about you quite a lot already.

18) He gets nervous around you

Last but certainly not least, a married man will give his true feelings away when he gets really nervous around you.

When it comes to you, he’s worried that you don’t like him anymore or that he will do something to scare you away.

Essentially, he’s like anyone else who is in love.

What do you do with that information?

These signs may not guarantee that a married man will leave his wife for you, but they do show that he cares about you on some level.

If he shows these signs, it’s likely that he wants a relationship with you. However, even if you notice these signs, don’t get your hopes up too much.

It may be too early to tell whether he’s worth keeping around. If you’re dating a married man and want to know whether or not he cares about you, keep an eye out for these signs.

Picture of Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more.

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