10 signs a married female coworker is attracted to you at work

You’re at work and notice one of your female coworkers is acting a little weird. You’ve always had a good friendship with her, but she’s coming on to you in ways that seem unusual.

If this sounds like something you’ve experienced, then it could be that your coworker has a thing for you and is trying to get you to notice her.

I’ve seen many situations where the female coworker is having a crush on the male coworker. 

In this article, we explore 10 signs that your female coworker is attracted to you.

1) She always complains about her husband with you 

There’s a good chance that you’ve heard her complain about her husband more than once. 

Maybe he doesn’t get along with her friends, or perhaps he doesn’t spend enough time with her and her family. 

If you are a regular listener of your married female coworker’s problems regarding her husband, it is one of the signs. 

She is not just seeking another sympathetic ear to vent out her problems. 

She wants you to feel concerned about her by showing how miserable her life is at home. 

Well, I am not saying that you should avoid listening to your married female coworkers when they are in need of a shoulder to cry on. 

All I am saying is that it is important for you to understand the underlying motive behind their seemingly harmless act.

At times, the signals she sends out are not only concerning her own partner, but they can also be observed in her behavior towards your partner.

2) She always changes the subject whenever you bring up your wife or girlfriend

Your female coworker probably will not want you to mention your girlfriend if she has a crush on you

It could be that she is afraid that her feelings will be exposed when you talk about your wife or girlfriend. 

She might even try to change the topic immediately when you mention how much you love your girlfriend or what your girlfriend and you will do on the weekend. 

You may also notice that she tries to appear more attractive to you by wearing revealing clothes whenever she knows that you are going to hang out with your girlfriend later. 

A married woman who wants to make the first move usually does not mind displaying her cleavage for all to see in tight tops or dresses. 

3) Casual touch 

A married woman usually will not openly flirt with you unless she finds you attractive

However, she may be more likely to touch you subtly when she knows that there is a possibility of you feeling attraction toward her. 

She is going to make subtle touches on your arm, hand or back when you are hanging out at lunch together. 

This might sound innocent but if the touch is from the same hand as yours then it could be a sign that she wants you to feel attracted to her. 

If you feel uncomfortable with the accidental touch, you could simply excuse yourself and move away. 

4) She tells you that sex with her husband is boring

Women in general love to talk about sex, but only with her female best friends. 

So if your female coworker tells you that her sex life with her husband is boring, then it could be a sign of her attraction with you

She may also tell you how she has never experienced good sex before and that it is likely due to the lack of a good sexual partner.

She will make it a point to tell you that she is not that satisfied with her sexual life because of his indifference to her needs.

She also may even tell you how much she wishes that she could experience good sex with a more mature guy. 

If this is the case, then there is a chance that she is attracted to you and wants something more than a casual lunch break with you.

5) She makes frequent compliments on your appearance 

Women who are attracted to men will always say something nice about how they look. 

But women in committed relationships will generally avoid making improper comments unless they feel a special connection with you.

So if she keeps complimenting your appearance and it seems like she means what she says then there is a big possibility that she has a crush on you. 

She may also ask you whether or not you like her dress instead of asking about your wife or girlfriend.

When I worked at a coffee shop, I had a male colleague and he used to make coffee for our manager. On one occasion she told him that he was looking handsome in his well-fit suit.

He was surprised why she complimented him, since she was our manager? 

It was only when she mentioned that his wife does not work at the office with us anymore, so they should have lunch together, that he realized her intention.

If your female coworker keeps complimenting your appearance when there’s no one around, then it could be a sign of attraction.

6) She shows signs of jealousy

I have seen many married women get jealous when their male friends or colleagues flirt with other girls at the office.

They may intentionally drop by your office to discuss an urgent matter. Or they may even come over to your desk to show interest in what you are doing.

What’s more? 

A married woman who is attracted to her male coworkers will always feel unhappy whenever she sees that they are flirting with someone else. 

She wants to make sure that there is no girl that can steal your attention, even though you two are not together. 

She may even make a joke about your behavior with other girls if she sees it. 

From her point of view, she felt jealous because it seems like you don’t look at her as a special person as she expected. 

7) She sends you flirty messages 

Women usually do not send flirty messages to a guy they don’t find attractive. 

They may even send you cute pictures of their kids or some other family members. 

If she sends you flirtatious text messages, then she may be interested in you

When I asked my friend how he knew that his female colleague had a crush on him, he told me that she used to send him some flirtatious messages.

She would even tell him that he was the best boss she ever had because he was so understanding and easygoing. 

He said that after a couple of weeks of texting with each other, she began sending him sexy photos. 

Luckily, he did not send her back any photos because I advised him to refrain from being too flirty in text messages if he isn’t interested in her. 

After she did not get what she wanted from him for a while, she ceased discussing matters that were not related to her job.

However, you must be aware that she might utilize the excuse of texting to request some business-related stuff to give her the opportunity to be with you. 

We’ll discuss this predicament in the succeeding point.

8) She seeks your help frequently 

She will ask you to help her with things such as fixing her laptop, buying a new router for her internet connection or helping her to organize some of the files on her desk.

A woman who is attracted to you will take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with you in the office. 

She may even try and make small talk with you by asking about your personal life, relationships and other related topics. 

This way, she will get the chance to see if you are interested in her romantically or not.

Furthermore, as soon as she feels that you are close enough, she may ask you for your opinion on how she should style her hair, what new clothes she should buy or how to improve her relationship with her husband. 

For example, if she asks you how to spice up her sex life with her husband, but he is a hardworking guy who is always tired at the end of the day, it might not means that she is actually asking for your advice, which I have already mentioned in the 4th point. 

So if you are willing to extend your help to her, you should make sure that she actually wants advice on how to improve things at home.

9) She shows interest in your personal life

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Women who are attracted to their male coworkers will always be interested in what you do after work. 

She may try to find out when your birthday is and ask you where your favorite restaurant is so that she can take you out for a nice dinner or even a lunch.

She might also want to know personal details about your love life or your relationships. 

Whatever topic she asks about, it is important to listen carefully and make sure that you don’t share too much information at once. 

For example, if she asks you where you live, make sure that you only tell her your area and not your address number. 

In my opinion, it is best to share information about your personal life on a one-on-one basis. 

Resist the temptation to share everything at once because it may come off as too much information for her. 

If you do not have any romantic feelings for her, do not do anything to make her think you are more interested than you really are.

Always remember that you are at the office and that most of what you discuss with your female colleague should be work-related. 

10) She always finds a way to talk to you alone in private

This is a very clear sign that she has a crush on you

She will make it seem like she needs to ask you a question when you are near each other. 

She might ask you to explain how her computer works even though you are not the IT guy, and she actually understands it better than you. 

Or she may ask for some help in finding the documents that her boss requested the other day. 

Sometimes, she may even step into your office and give you good or bad news about an important project at work.

If this happens, always remember to keep calm and be professional about it. 

What can you do about it? 

I know for a fact that romantic relationships among colleagues in the workplace are common.

Therefore, if you are a male coworker, you should be careful in case your married female colleague is interested in you. 

You shouldn’t immediately start flirting with her while you still live with your wife and kids. 

If she is happily married, then it will not be wise to date her either. 

Even if she asks to meet up with you out of the office, you should really consider if it is really worth it or not.

I know that you are going through a hard time at the moment and you might find this funny or even crazy, but it will not be in your best interests in the long run if you date her.

There will be consequences and your relationship at work will never be the same after that.

So if you are currently married, then it is best to keep your distance from your female coworker. 

Do not visit your married female coworker’s office even if you need to talk about something at work if you know that she is into you. Because things can happen really fast if she wants you. 

Remember whatever the case might be, always keep your cool and don’t act selfishly or unprofessionally.

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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