Even when a man is crazy in love with us we can, and often do, miss the signs and signals.
The evidence can be right under our noses and we’ll still fail to pick up on the depth of their emotions and question their true feelings.
Maddening!
Do you want to know why I think we struggle to read people’s romantic clues?
Hollywood, that’s why.
There’s a decided lack of impromptu grand romantic gestures in real life, like that hunky Jake Ryan picking you up with a freaking birthday cake after your sister’s disaster of a wedding.
In real life, however, the signs that your man will always love you can be frustratingly subtle, so knowing whether someone really loves you is far trickier to decipher than it is in the movies.
*shakes fist at Hollywood, again*
Most guys aren’t declaring their love by freezing to death in the North Atlantic while you lounge in relative comfort on a door, so deducing if your person is really in it for the long haul involves a fair amount of sleuthing.
This usually entails parsing every text they’ve ever sent you for meaning and discussing your theories and findings with your besties, which is actually kind of fun.
But remember every guy is different, and there’s no cookie-cutter set of parameters that will fit everyone, and no hard and fast formula you can follow to ensure success.
But on the bright side, psychologists have identified some tell-tale signs and behaviors of men who are in a forever type of love.
OK. There’s hope for us yet.
So, is your guy the real deal? Let’s find out.
1) He’s genuinely attentive
Listening is a biggie, folks.
When a guy is deeply in love, he’ll actually want to hear what you have to say.
It’s not about your actual words.
It’s about your man’s eagerness to understand your feelings, thoughts, and opinions.
It’s also more than just your physical presence, as comforting as that is.
It’s also about his emotional investment in the relationship.
Your man doesn’t give you attention just because it’s expected of him.
He does it because his goal is to understand you better.
2) He listens intently
The next time you’re entertaining your guy with a stand-up routine based on your latest exchange with the local Karen, take note of his body language.
Is he making eye contact while nodding in the affirmative and asking questions to obtain more detail?
Yes?
Good. That’s what psychologists refer to as active listening, and it’s vital to the success of any relationship.
If your man’s solidly in love with you, how long you’ve been rambling on won’t matter.
If your anecdote is desperately dull or your story is interminable, he’s still all ears.
Your guy listens closely to you because it helps him understand you better.
So, if he consistently exhibits genuine interest, it’s a good indication that he’s emotionally invested in what you have to say.
3) He uses “we” instead of “I”
If you’ve just started seeing a man, he’ll probably use the singular pronoun “I” when describing his future plans, as opposed to the plural pronoun “we” which usually implies a romantic relationship.
If your guy suddenly has suddenly gone from using “I” statements to “we” statements, it’s a strong indication that he envisions a future with you in it, because he loves you.
I know that when I was in a relationship with a contractor and he started talking about what kind of house we should build, I took that as a win. I was right.
4) He lets his defenses down
According to science, many Western men grew up being chastised for expressing their emotions or venting about their problems.
This behavior is inexplicably considered “unmanly” far too often, and usually by other men.
No wonder guys close themselves off.
However, when a man is in love with you, he’ll slowly start lowering his mental drawbridge to let you in.
Relationship experts suggest that a guy opening up to you emotionally indicates that he trusts you and desires a long-lasting connection with you.
5) He celebrates your individuality
Relationship experts agree that mutual respect is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
This is non-negotiable.
When a man is prepared to love you forever, he also respects your autonomy and individuality.
If your guy supports your decisions and encourages you to chase dreams – even if they are diametrically opposed to his – it’s an excellent sign that his love for you will stand the test of time.
6) He loves you just the way you are
When a man truly loves you, he accepts all that you are – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
If your guy has seen you at your worst and hasn’t run away screaming, we will consider that a definite plus.
A man in love cherishes the authentic you and has no desire to change who you are.
7) He prioritizes your priorities
If a guy is in love for keeps, he’ll always be there for you no matter how busy he is.
If you’re sick or just had a crummy day, he’ll pass on a night out with the boys to take care of you.
He’s got you no matter what challenge you’re facing.
If you’re looking for a new position, he’ll make it his job to be supportive and help you out by updating your resume or whatever practical assistance you need to make the process go smoothly.
You get the idea. This is a dude you can count on.
8) He’s the king of compromise
Science proves that a healthy give-and-take dynamic in a relationship requires compromise and reciprocity from both people involved.
As a couple, you’ll fall into a rhythm where both partners get as good as they give.
That’s the goal, anyway.
So, if your guy isn’t a big fan of movie theaters but he’ll sit through the Barbie movie with you, this is a man who makes an exception just because he loves you.
If you’ve got a dude who’s willing to change his habits to make you happy, I feel confident saying that you’ve got a keeper.
9) He’s got your back
If something goes wrong for you, whether it’s just a small glitch or a major disaster, who’s the first person that springs to mind?
Is it your guy?
I’ll bet it is if your man is always down to provide a helping hand no matter how much stuff he’s had to move around to be there. It’s pretty safe to say that he’s become emotionally attached to you.
10) He thinks your quirks are cute
Well, this gives me a glimmer of hope that someone out there would appreciate a girl who can recite every word of Monty Python and the Holy Grail without a single flub.
*Waits*
*Waits*
Oh, well.
Anyway, when a guy genuinely loves your weird little quirks and thinks they’re adorable you’ve totally hit the jackpot of life.
You can fearlessly let your freak flag fly!
If your guy loves you unconditionally he’ll most likely get a charge out of your endearing goofiness.
And that’s a pretty good sign that your dude plans to stick around.
11) He’s your biggest fan
Is your guy your staunchest supporter? Does he uplift you when you’re feeling low?
Does he let the small stuff go to maintain harmony in your relationship?
Guess what? That man just might stay in love with you for life.
That’s because when a guy’s in love he always sees his partner’s finer qualities before he notices her weaknesses.
He’s well aware of your unique value, maybe even more aware of it than you are.
He knows you can accomplish anything you set your mind to because you’re completely awesome.
This guy is always proud of you, during your low points as well as your high points.
This pride doesn’t equate to having you on a pedestal.
He knows you’re a flawed human being just as he is.
But the nice thing is that he’ll always put the most positive spin on your character without being delusional about it.
Final thoughts
Let’s face it – there are no guarantees in this life. Even the most seemingly rock-solid unions sometimes crumble.
Real love is real hard.
But, if you know a few sure signs that a man considers you his end game, you can make better-informed judgment calls in your relationships.
