Having kids used to be expected in most cultures, but it’s become increasingly optional in the modern world.
That’s why it can be a controversial and sensitive topic.
But thankfully there are some clear cues that let you know whether he’s getting baby fever and hopes to make you into the mother of his future kids.
25 big signs a man wants to have a baby with you
1) He starts talking a lot about babies in general
Babies are a fairly interesting subject. I mean they are the future of the species and all.
But if your guy can’t seem to stop talking about them, then it could be more than just idle fascination with the miracle of human life.
He may have “baby brain;” in other words, he wants to have a baby with you.
If he starts discussing early childhood development, pregnancy, the way other people are raising their infants and subjects like this, then your alarm bells should go off.
Whether they are good alarm bells or the scary kind depends on your situation.
But you can rest assured that this is one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you.
2) He tries to be a hero for you
One of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he tries to be a hero for you.
It’s not always in a big or dramatic way, but if you know what to look for in his behavior, you’ll see what I mean.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.
3) He talks about getting more serious and committing
Based on personal experience and the situations of friends, I’ve noticed something interesting about pregnancy.
The subject of pregnancy can be a real litmus test of how serious someone is about a relationship.
Now I don’t mean to say that everyone who doesn’t want to have kids isn’t really in love…
That’s clearly not the case, and there are plenty of reasons why one or both people in a relationship may not want to have children or may want to wait.
But the point is that in many cases where a guy reacts in horror to the idea of having kids it can be (again, not always) because he’s not truly in love and he knows the situation isn’t “right.”
He doesn’t want to form permanent bonds with this girl.
On the other hand, a guy who doesn’t shy away from talk of getting serious can be the exact opposite as the one who wants to stay unattached…
Indeed, when he’s excited about getting more serious and committing in various ways, it can often go along with an openness to the idea of having kids.
4) The idea of marriage doesn’t scare him
On a related note to the last point, a guy who wants to have a baby with you won’t be scared by the idea of marriage.
In fact, he may be the one who brings it up.
If the idea of marriage is something he talks about in a positive way, then it’s one of the biggest signs that having a baby with you is in his future plans.
Not everyone who’s married has kids, obviously, but even today in our modern age there is often a correlation between marriage and having kids.
If the idea of marriage appeals to him, then the idea of having kids probably will as well.
The chances are that if he wants to marry you then he wants to bind his life together with yours and also have kids with you.
The question, of course, is whether you want the same thing.
5) He wants you to discontinue birth control
Let’s talk practical matters here:
If your guy wants you to stop taking birth control then it obviously means he wants to have a baby with you or at least is open to the idea.
The key thing here is that some guys think they want a baby when really it’s more of the idea that enthuses them than the reality.
Before agreeing to go off birth control or take things to the next level, you need to be sure that your man isn’t just fantasizing.
Does he really want a kid and is he really ready for that responsibility?
Or has he just been watching too many Hallmark movies and now think he’s up to the challenge?
There’s a big gap between fantasy and reality in some cases, so make sure you don’t do anything impulsive either.
6) He loves taking trips down memory lane
Another one of the really big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he starts taking frequent trips down memory lane.
He opens up photo albums from when he was a youngster and pores through them, marveling at his young self…
Or he scrolls on Facebook looking at memories of himself and his siblings as little tykes and talking about the good old days.
This is a classic sign that the idea of having kids is on his mind.
The thing is he may not always be aware of it, as sometimes it can be a subconscious thing.
“If he discusses a lot about his childhood and his mother’s relationship with his father, he might be thinking of creating a little version of himself.
“Or if he pulls out all the pictures of his childhood and starts talking about himself as a kid, all his activities, his life as a baby, he definitely desires to have one.”
7) He’s focused on saving for the future
Some guys are more practical than others, but the practice of saving money for the future often goes hand-in-hand with a conscious or subconscious desire to have kids.
When he’s focused on saving for the future, it can be one of the strongest signs he wants to have a baby with you.
He wants to make sure that he’s got a nest egg saved up before he starts filling the nest with little chickadees.
This is a sign that the guy is responsible and doesn’t just think of having kids as a fun adventure or life achievement level of some kind.
It means he’s really ready to face the financial reality of having to care for new human beings.
That’s a good sign if you’re also invested in the idea of having kids with him, too.
8) He starts talking about what your future kids would look like
Many people in serious relationships have talked about their future kids in a funny or dreamy way.
But if he’s starting to talk about what your future kids would look like and how he’s going to decorate their nurseries or what nicknames he’ll call them, then it’s probably crossed the line into something more serious…
After all, thinking about your future potential kids as a kind of face mash game is one thing.
But talking about it in detail and looking like he’s really getting into it is something else altogether.
That’s less of a fantasy game and more of a real plan, if you ask me.
“If your guy is starting to talk a lot about how much his brother’s kids look like him more than their mother, he will eventually move on to talking about what your babies will look like.
“If you love each other and the relationship is serious, you’ll probably think along the same line.”
9) He talks about how in love with you he is
Another one of those glaring and big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is if he talks with you about how much he cares for you.
If he’s often talking about how in love with you he is, it can go hand-in-hand with wanting a baby with you as well.
A serious man who wants to raise a healthy and successful boy or girl doesn’t want to do so with any woman he comes across.
He wants to do it with the woman he’s in love with and who he values above all others.
If he tells you that you’re that woman, then he probably means it!
Do you feel the same?
10) He’s really into unprotected sex all of a sudden
If you generally use condoms and he suddenly seems to have developed a mental or physical allergy to them then take note…
This can often be a precursor to a guy wanting to have a baby with you, or at least not having anymore mental blocks or issues with the idea of becoming a parent with you.
Unless he’s a complete idiot, he’ll remember Grade 9 science and how babies are made.
This means that if he seems to think unprotected sex is fine he’s also probably fine with having a baby with you.
As Astrid Mitchell writes, it’s not always out in the open when a guy wants to have a baby with you.
“You may have let your man slide and have sex without a condom. When this occurs, your man will have an instant reaction to pull out to prevent ejaculation into you.
“But recently, he is refusing to pull out. This is very serious, and you should try and avoid letting your man do that (unless, of course, you’re ready for a baby too).”
If he thinks unprotected sex is fine because you can use the rhythm method make sure you talk with him directly about how this is never a completely failsafe method of birth control.
11) He’s jealous of other people having babies
As I mentioned in point one, keep your eyes open for a real surge in interest from your guy about babies in general.
You can also watch how he acts around your friends and colleagues who have babies.
One example is if he gets excited and even a bit jealous when friends of yours have a baby.
It’s not always that he’s happy for them.
He may start actually commenting on their parenting skills, how they don’t “deserve” kids, or even how he would do a better job.
This means he’s definitely got fatherhood in mind…
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12) He becomes an amateur gynecologist
Now, you may wonder what I mean by this heading, and I’ll explain…
It’s obviously a good thing that your guy is attracted to you and likes to be involved below the belt…
But if he’s starting to take a real interest in your fertility and when you ovulate it can be more than sexual attraction.
It sounds a lot more like he’s trying to get you pregnant!
As Onyedika Boniface writes, one of the top signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he starts taking an interest in your ovulation cycle and fertility window.
It’s certainly hopeful that he’s asked your opinion on it first and isn’t just plowing ahead.
But you can take warning if he’s suddenly asking strangely technical questions about your period and ovulation.
This sounds like a lot more than pillow talk to me.
13) He starts offering to babysit for friends and family
Another one of the top big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he starts getting really into babysitting.
Suddenly looking after your rambunctious nephews isn’t such a chore.
It’s his pleasure.
He loves telling them stories and watching movies. He seems to have switched fully into dad mode.
This is practice.
14) He takes a special interest in films about fatherhood
There are some good movies out there about being a dad, things like Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness and 1991’s classic Father of the Bride.
Films about family stuff tend to be slated more under the romantic comedy label, but a guy who’s getting baby fever will start becoming surprisingly into them.
He’ll relate to the dad vibe and storyline, because he’s thinking about it down the road.
15) Pregnancy scares make him happy
A guy who isn’t ready for a baby reacts to a pregnancy scare in only one way: being completely freaked out.
But if his reaction to you wondering if you’ve missed your period is to smile or nod without any anxiety then you definitely have a guy who wants to be a dad.
He wouldn’t be that good at faking it if he was panicking.
When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it’s one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you.
16) His biological clock is ticking
Men don’t have a biological clock in the same sense as women.
After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids.
But men can still get baby fever. It basically happens when they start to feel like they’ve done the other things they want to do in life and now they want to be a dad.
It’s really that simple.
“Researchers have found that male baby fever presents differently than female baby fever.
“Although women desire children less as time goes on, men want more progeny as they age and begin building families.”
17) He’s obsessed with the idea of ‘settling down’
Settling down is an interesting term. When people say this it usually means they want to get their career in order, buy a home and start a family.
Or they may want to rent an apartment and meet a girl who can match them shot for shot at the bar.
My point is that it’s a fairly relative term.
But nonetheless, if he’s talking a lot about settling down it can often include the desire to have babies with you.
18) He’s extra curious about your childhood and upbringing
In addition to wanting to know about issues that could have happened far back in your family tree (which I’ll discuss later), a guy who wants to have kids with you will be super curious about your childhood and upbringing…
He’ll want to know what it was like for you growing up where you did, how you did and with the values and parenting you had…
He’s looking at your experiences because he’s thinking about what you can copy or innovate on with raising your own kids.
19) He’s brainstorming names for his future brood
In addition to thinking about how your future kids might look, he will also be thinking of names.
If he’s trying to come up with names for your future potential kids, then it might have crossed the line from a joke to a real goal he has.
This is especially true when he tries to get your reactions to the names and see which ones you like or not.
If he was just goofing off then why would he care what you think about certain baby names?
20) He often discusses issues about family and parenthood
It’s true that issues around family and parenthood are interesting.
Stereotypically, they’re the kind of subjects that women enjoy discussing more than men.
But this isn’t always the case, and it’s especially not the case for a guy who wants to become a dad.
He will talk about education, child raising and all sorts of similar subjects because he wants to do it right.
21) He’s extra interested in your family history
Another one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he starts taking a particularly strong interest in your family history.
It becomes less like he’s just making conversation and more like he’s screening the future mom of his kids.
Suddenly when you tell him about your grandfather who had Parkinson’s his face gets extra worried and he asks if it runs more in the family…
He becomes especially concerned about anything in your past that he worries could affect a future kid, including abuse or tragedies which occurred.
He wants to make sure he knows your history before he goes all the way…
22) He’s starting to handle his emotions more maturely
A man who wants to be a dad and is serious about it will be fully aware that he needs to be up to the job.
There’s a practical aspect to this in terms of finances, stability and physical health.
But there’s also an emotional and personal side to it.
He will want to become his best self and make sure that he begins clarifying his life philosophy, child-raising ideals and learn how to manage his own emotions.
“Instead of hiding his emotions behind a macho facade, he’s starting to mellow down and lower his inhibitions around you.
“A man like this will become a great and nurturing father in the near future.”
23) He begins opening up more about the pros and cons of his own parents
All of us have complicated and emotional stories of growing up.
Even outwardly perfect families have plenty of baggage and complications under the surface.
One of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he starts to open up more about his own upbringing.
He may talk about how hard it was for him to go through certain things as a kid.
Or the ways in which he would have liked things to be different.
Or he may focus on the positive and ways in which his upbringing was ideal and positive.
His mind is definitely on kids and having kids…
24) He talks about his desire to be a dad
Another one of the classic big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is that he talks openly about how much he wants to be a dad.
There’s a lot of cliches out there these days about guys dodging responsibility or just wanting to live wild and free.
But when a man is truly in love and ready to commit, he won’t be that way…
And if being a dad is something that’s meaningful to him and he loves you, then he’s likely to open up about it and tell you how much the idea appeals to him.
The more you show him that you respect and value this desire, the more open he’ll be about it.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct. When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to feel a strong attraction.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right phrases to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s highly worth a watch if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
25) He talks about what a great mom you’ll be
One of the most inspiring and big signs a man wants to have a baby with you is when he starts envisioning you as a mom.
He may talk about what a good mom you’ll be and talk of you in a way that you’re not used to.
If you want to be a mother then this is flattering, if not it can be kind of awkward obviously.
But when he’s talking about what a super mom you’ll be in a praising type of way, you can be sure he means it in a good way.
If he says it on an ongoing basis then it’s an even bigger sign that future parenthood is on his mind.
“Being good that you’ll be a good mom is a great compliment; it’s not a common compliment and if you get it more often from your man, just know that it’s a sign, especially if he compliments you every now and then.”
Welcome to the family
Now that you know whether this guy wants to have a baby with you, it’s time to decide if you feel the same way.
Are you in the mood to grow your family, too, or is that something you’re not ready for yet?
Be sure about what you want and talk honestly and openly with your man.
Together you can make the best decision to grow your family and have a baby or not.
How this one revelation changed my love life
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If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
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