10 signs a man is incredibly attracted to you, according to psychology

Trying to suss out whether a guy’s attracted to you or not is a bit like trying to decipher hieroglyphics. They paint a pretty picture, but the actual meaning eludes you.

A lot of men will play it cool when they’ve taken a shine to you. Sometimes they’ll mask their genuine feelings until they are a bit more sure that their feelings are reciprocated.

But, thanks to psychology, we can make some decent educated guesses. Numerous signs can help you figure out if he’s really into you – or not. The following information may inspire you to make a move on the man in question yourself.

So, without further ado, here are ten signs that a man is highly attracted to you, all supported by science.

1) He initiates conversation 

If a guy always finds an excuse to strike up a conversation with you, the odds are good that he finds you attractive. Initiating a conversation with you is one of the most obvious ways guys indicate interest

If he’s super into you, experts suggest that he may look for an opening by bringing up subjects he knows you’re interested in. 

How does he know? Because he’s a pro at active listening, at least when it comes to you. 

And he’ll always ask you follow-up questions because he wants to know as much as possible about you.   

I remember many years ago when my neighborhood crush struck up a conversation with me about the Beatles. I asked him how he knew the Beatles were my favorite band.

He said, “I have my ways.” Yeah, he listened to what I said and remembered it. Those were his ways.  They were good ways.

2) The eyes don’t lie 

According to psychology, eye contact between two people is one of the most potent forms of non-verbal communication in existence. 

When a man looks deep in your eyes, and you into his, you’re telling each other (without telling each other) that you’d like to connect.  The rest of his world fades away, as he fixes his attention on you with laser-like focus. 

Eye contact is a good way for two people to get a feel for their chemistry, or lack thereof.   

3) He longs to be close to you

If a guy finds you attractive, he’ll use any reason to get as close to you as possible without making it weird. 

If you “happen” to be standing near, he might gently brush your arm, playfully nudge you, or poke you in the ribs like my guy used to do.

It was annoying, adorable, and sexy.

Yes, a poke in the ribs from the right guy can be sexy. Decades later, and I still get shivers thinking about it. 

By physically closing the gap between you two, it’s easier to “accidentally” initiate more random, casual touches, which obviously also points to an attraction. 

This is another good clue about your feelings for him – if any. Because that poke to the ribs used to send me in that awesome Sam Cooke way.

4) He’s nice to you

Men have been relying on flattery to woo women since Keith Richards was a baby. And some of these guys are more sincere with their compliments than others.

So, direct verbal cues are pretty easy to pick up on. It’s just assessing the motive, if you’re a distrusting cynic like me. 

5) He wants to know all about you

shes secretly attracted to you 10 signs a man is incredibly attracted to you, according to psychology

So just what type of conversation are you having while gazing raptly into one another’s eyes? Is it the score of the hockey game or your life goals?

If he directs the conversation towards the personal, he probably likes you – a lot. 

Men aren’t big on learning more about women they’re not attracted to. If he’s thrilled to hear about your grandparents’ long-ago wedding or why you’re afraid of fire hydrants, hold onto that guy.

He’s trying to forge a deeper, more meaningful connection because he’s emotionally invested in learning all he can about you. 

Of course, It’s cool to discuss all the mundane stuff, too. 

However, fostering a successful and long-lasting relationship involves having numerous conversations about your backstories, thoughts and opinions, and future goals. 

6) He wants your opinion

Some men hesitate to take advice from anyone when facing a tough decision. According to the Newport Institute, it’s that toxic social conditioning many men succumb to – that asking for help is equated with weakness.

But, if your guy likes to check in with you when he’s weighing his options he’s probably attracted to you.

Not only that, it also means that he respects you and your judgment. He trusts you, plain and simple. 

7) He’s your personal jester

Here are your certainties in life: death, taxes, and a guy who’s killing himself to make you laugh has got it bad for you. When a dude turns into a stand-up comic when you’re around, it’s a sure sign of attraction. 

He wants you to associate him with laughter because science proves that laughing together creates a powerful bond.

Funny moments are unforgettable moments. When a dude tickles your funny bone, you’re more likely to remember them and how good they made you feel.

So making you laugh can be a man’s way of showing you that he really enjoys being around you and likes to be the reason you’re in a good mood. 

8) He teases you

Teasing is a good indicator of attraction, but there can be a fine and sometimes almost imperceptible line between friendly and flirtatious teasing.

Here’s what we know. Guys who are just being friendly are usually more restrained and polite in their interactions than a man who is trying to act on the chemistry he senses between you.

When you’re flirting, poking fun at each other can be both hilarious and hot. Science confirms that it’s the perfect way to confirm your interest and flout your sexual chemistry, which is probably off the charts. 

More of my glory days: I called my old love “Jerk.” He called me “Mouth.” Between that and the rib-poking my knees were constantly weak.

We vibed. That’s rare.

9) He wants you in his world 

And he wants to be in yours. That’s just adorable.  

One of the surest signs a man is seriously interested in you is when he’s chomping at the bit to meet your loved ones. 

He knows that until that happens he’s not getting the full picture about you. Getting closer to your family and friends helps to build your fledgling relationship on a stronger foundation. 

And this behavior goes both ways, of course. He’s stoked to tell his tribe about you, too. Men who are genuinely attracted to you want to show you off as much as possible.  

10) He’s your go-to guy

Genuine attraction isn’t just about physical appearance or flirtatious banter alone. Establishing an emotional connection is far more important than superficial considerations.

When a man is seriously attracted to you he’s always there when you need him. Whether it’s a tough day at work or a major life challenge, he’s your go-to person.


If this is the case with your guy, it’s a safe bet he’s emotionally invested in you and your relationship.

Final thoughts 

Sure, it would be a lot easier if figuring out a man’s feelings was cut and dried, but it’s not. Humans are way more complicated than that.

You have to be alert for the subtle and not-so-subtle clues a guy gives you and do your best to read their intentions.

And honestly, isn’t that more exciting and fun, anyway?

Picture of Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden

Kathy Copeland Padden lives in a New England forest paradise with her cats, kid, and trusty laptop. She has been writing since age 8 and is such a pack rat she can back that up with physical evidence. Music is her solace and words are her drug, so her house is strewn with records and books. Watch your step.

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