10 signs a man has exceptional communication skills, according to psychology

When a man has exceptional communication skills, he’s clear, direct and expressive in the way he talks.

His word choice and way of speaking are far above average, and in his professional and personal life he’s known as a top-level communicator.

So what distinguishes the man who’s an excellent communicator from the man who is only average, or the man who is a poor communicator?

Psychology points to a number of key behaviors and habits of the master communicator.

Let’s dive in:

1) Active listening

He truly listens when somebody speaks, internalizing what they say and doing his best to grasp the full meaning.

He asks questions if he doesn’t understand and goes out of his way to empathize and connect.

“Your speaker will be far more likely to continue sharing if he or she feels that you are paying attention to all that’s been said,” explains psychologist Randi Gunther, PhD.

“That not only includes the present, but anything that might also reference the past.”

When he demonstrates active listening by nodding, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully, it shows he values the speaker’s perspective.

More often than not, it’s a classic sign of an extraordinary communicator.

2) Clear and concise

The next hallmark of a man who’s an outstanding communicator is that he communicates clearly and concisely.

He says what he means, and means what he says.

He handles awkward subjects with grace and does his best to avoid ambiguity and ensure his message is easily understood by all parties.

When people don’t understand he patiently explains and does his best to get his point across.

He resists becoming frustrated or irritated and tries to simplify and clarify what he’s saying as much as possible, repeating himself if necessary.

3) Empathy and compassion

He truly cares and goes out of his way to connect with the emotional experiences of other people.

Even when he disagrees, he does his best to walk in somebody else’s shoes and see it from their point of view, even if temporarily.

“Support and agreement do not have to be the same response. Even if you don’t see things the same way, you can still be empathetic and understanding of how your speaker thinks and feels,” notes Gunther.

He shows genuine empathy and compassion, understanding the feelings and experiences of others and responding with care.

Whether he sees it differently or not, he is able to engage in what psychologists term “perspective taking” by walking in the shoes of others.

4) Nonverbal alignment

The exceptional communicator is very in sync.

His body language matches what he says and he uses his gestures, posture and gaze to emphasize and clarify what he’s saying.

He effectively uses nonverbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, to enhance understanding and convey empathy.

This makes him more charismatic and more powerful as a communicator, and it also helps him build affinity with others, constructing strong bridges of trust and fondness with them.

Folks tend to trust him because what he’s saying with his mouth matches what he’s saying with his body.

5) High EQ

The man who’s an extraordinary communicator tends to be highly emotionally intelligent.

His levels of emotional intelligence (EQ) are extremely elevated, and he’s in touch with his own emotions as well as those of other people.

He understands the importance of expressing emotions and being honest about them, rather than pushing them down or de-emphasizing them.

“Emotions are meant to come out and at least be heeded and attended to,” notes psychologist Jason Linder, PsyD.

“Built-up, suppressed emotion usually creates physical and emotional health problems in the body, like pains, aches, and frustration, and drains us of vital physical and mental energy.”

He exhibits high emotional intelligence by recognizing and appropriately responding to his own and others’ emotions during interactions.

This builds trust, affinity and clarity in his interactions and conversations, and folks feel comfortable opening up to him and sharing privileged information with him as well.

6) Responsive to new information

Responsive 10 signs a man has exceptional communication skills, according to psychology

He adapts to new information on the fly and is able to integrate changes and updates quickly.

Instead of insisting on being right, he is able to let his ego come second and consider new information or contradictions to his own point of view or statements.

This also ties into his ability to shift how he talks and the modality of his communication depending on the context:

He can adapt his communication style to suit different audiences and contexts, making him effective in various social and professional situations.

7) Constructive criticism and feedback

He provides constructive feedback and criticism and he accepts it with grace.

He gives input that is specific, actionable, and delivered in a supportive manner, encouraging growth and improvement.

As Gunther observes that an effective listener combines “emotional support, accurate listening, tracking, rhythm, presence, and care.”

By accepting feedback with confidence and appreciation, and giving it out respectfully and carefully, he builds a reputation for honesty and directness.

When he praises somebody’s work they know it’s true. When he criticizes aspects of it, they know that there are real things to work on.

He’s able to critique without making it personal, and with encouraging growth and progress instead of sapping morale.

This ties into the next point as well:

8) Conflict resolution skills

He handles conflicts with skill and diplomacy, trying his best to find a win-win solution and avoid unnecessary bitterness.

As a truly effective communicator, he seeks to understand all perspectives and finding mutually beneficial solutions.

“Everyone communicates in one way or another, but very few people have mastered the skill of truly effective communication,” explains psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus, PhD.

“Breakdowns in communication occur all too often and usually lead to a wide range of social problems, from hurt feelings and anger to divorce and even violence.”

The master communicator finds a way to avoid these big breakdowns in communication and resolve conflicts that can’t be avoided:

When there is an ongoing gridlock or refusal to communicate, for example, he will do his best to communicate with somebody about why they don’t feel comfortable communicating.

9) Curious and questioning when unclear

When he doesn’t know what’s going on, he asks.

The less he assumes, the more solid a position he speaks from. The man who’s truly skilled at communicating understands this at a deep level.

So he’s not afraid to ask questions or admit when he doesn’t know something. His ego isn’t at stake.

He asks thoughtful questions that show curiosity and a desire to understand deeper aspects of a conversation or topic.

He invites others to share and does his best to keep learning and becoming even clearer about what’s being spoken of and what it means.

10) Reflective thinking and introspection

The man who’s an excellent communicator thinks about what he says and about what others say and reflects on it.

He reflects on conversations and feedback, learning from past interactions to improve future communication.

“You get involved and ask questions early on and throughout the process so you have a complete understanding and can support them when needed,” points out psychology and leadership writer Al Hartmann.

These are all hallmarks of the man who’s an excellent communicator:

Set apart by his high EQ, self-awareness, clarity of speech and ability to question, listen and respond thoughtfully.

Picture of Paul Brian

Paul Brian

Paul R. Brian is a freelance journalist and writer who has reported from around the world, focusing on religion, culture and geopolitics. Follow him on www.twitter.com/paulrbrian and visit his website at www.paulrbrian.com

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