7 signs a man feels deeply for you but doesn’t know how to express it, according to psychology


It’s a complicated matter, to say the least. 

From distinguishing between infatuation and true love to recognizing that your love language may differ from that of your partner, love gives rise to a lot of confusion and plenty of questions.

Luckily, you can always ask the internet for help.

Don’t worry – I’ve got your back.

Here are the 7 signs a man feels deeply for you but doesn’t know how to express it.

1) He helps you out at every opportunity

For some men, love isn’t about long letters or grand gestures of affection.

In fact, many men are still taught that expressing their feelings openly is a sign of weakness while others simply prefer to show how they feel through quieter love languages such as acts of service.

And of course, then there are men who would really like to show you just how much they care – they just have no idea how. Perhaps they suffer from anxiety. Perhaps they’re overthinking it.

And perhaps they haven’t learned how to communicate effectively just yet.

As psychologist Barbara Markway Ph.D. writes, “Just because men may not be adept at expressing their feelings, they still feel deeply.”

The emotions are there – they just aren’t wholly recognized or embraced, and so they translate into small actions that point toward something bigger when put together.

And what better way to show someone you care for them than to help them out when they’re in trouble?

Not only are you actively making their life easier, but these kinds of opportunities also allow you to spend more time with the object of your affection.

Two birds with one stone and all that.

So, the first lesson to take away from this article is that a man who feels deeply for you will try to offer you a helping hand, from fixing your laptop to helping you move or taking on some of your workload when you’re stressed out.

2) He gives you little gifts (and acts like it’s no big deal)

Some people regard gifts as superficial expressions of love that don’t really mean much.

But for many of us, gift-giving goes way beyond monetary value.

It’s all about making someone’s day just a tiny bit better; about showing them that you thought about them while in a supermarket or on a holiday abroad; about putting careful consideration into what gift they would appreciate or what object would accurately reflect their personality.

Scott Rick, Ph.D. explains, “True gift-giving requires deep understanding, not shortcuts. Good gift-giving requires curiosity about the recipient’s inner psychological world.”

And if a man struggles to express his feelings through words, he might choose this love language as the alternative.

This doesn’t mean he’ll bring you a charming or expensive gift every day, mind you.

It just means he might buy your favorite tea when you run out, stop at the side of a meadow and pick some flowers for you, buy you that ice cream you love so much after a long day at work, or make you a paper ring out of a napkin at the restaurant.

3) He cares about your well-being

Here’s a truth I’ve had to learn the hard way: the depth of a man’s love for you becomes evident when you genuinely need to lean on him.

When you’re ill, he looks after you and makes sure the house is in order while you’re recovering so that you don’t have to overextend yourself.

When you’re shivering out in the cold, he either lends you a jacket or finds somewhere warm for both of you to go.

And when you seem upset about something that’s happened – no matter if it’s connected to him or not – he’s there to hear you out, provide emotional support, and offer advice if you ask for it.

Again, these may seem like small things, but over time, they add up. And even if the examples above are essentially the bare minimum, they still deserve to be appreciated.

4) He seeks out your company

He seeks out your company 7 signs a man feels deeply for you but doesn't know how to express it, according to psychology

I once dated a guy who wasn’t big on words of affirmation. He’d occasionally tell me he loved me, but to him, words were of much less importance than actions.

Seeing as my primary love language is quality time, this suited me just fine. We would go on frequent dates, hang out in a way best friends would, and co-work in silence together.

And once I came home, there was a message from him on my phone, asking me if I wanted to spend time together again later in the week.

In other words, he actively sought out my company because he genuinely enjoyed being around me. We weren’t just lovers – we were buddies.

According to psychology, this isn’t only an expression of love but it’s also a sign that you’re in a healthy relationship that fulfils you on a fundamental level.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D. says, “With your BFF as your romantic partner, you get the best of both worlds, someone with whom you can laugh, share your life, and cuddle.”

Does your partner or the man who may be potentially in love with you actively try to spend time with you?

If the answer’s yes, it’s yet another sign he might feel deeply for you.

5) He remembers small details you mentioned a long time ago

Studies show that we become more attentive to people we are romantically involved with.

This isn’t all that shocking – after all, falling in love wreaks havoc on our bodies, shifting the contours of our world and making us pay attention to things we would have ignored before (such as signs it’s meant to be or posters of your crush’s favorite movie everywhere around town).

This means that if the man in question finds it difficult to express his love openly, you may have to look for subtler signs – such as the fact he seems to remember every single thing you tell him.

Of course, it’s important not to be delusional here. Some guys are just really good listeners. Full stop.

But if you pair this one up with other signs on this list, it’s just further confirmation that there may be more to the man’s feelings for you than meets the eye.

6) He is keen to learn more about your inner world

Speaking of an increased level of attention, a man who genuinely cares about you isn’t just interested in you on a physical or romantic level.

No, he truly wants to get to know you for who you are. Values, opinions, hobbies, humor, you name it, he wants to know about it.

There’s another important element to factor in, though. It’s not just that he wants to learn more about you – it’s that he also respects your opinions.

In other words, he doesn’t mansplain, doesn’t put you down, and doesn’t try to change your mind just to prove to himself he knows better than you.

His questions come from a genuine place of curiosity, respect, and a desire to connect with you.

7) You often catch him staring at you

When you’re in love with someone, you will naturally want to look at them.

A lot.

Some men might not know how to tell you about their feelings, but if you catch them staring at you at every opportunity (and you’re pretty sure there’s nothing stuck between your teeth), there aren’t that many reasons for why they are so keen to glue their gaze to your face.

People say that eyes are the door to the soul, and when it comes to falling in love, this is very much true.

What you do next is up to you

If there’s something this article definitely isn’t, it’s an excuse.

While some men genuinely do struggle to express their feelings, this doesn’t mean that you should settle for something that ultimately doesn’t suit you.

Your needs are valid. If you want to be shown love through open communication, someone who doesn’t put in an active effort to speak your love language may simply not be a good match for you.

Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean that you feel loved by them.

You choose the kind of love you accept.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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