When you have a crush on a guy, it can be tricky to figure out if he reciprocates.
It’s like the butterflies in your stomach travel to your brain and make so much noise you can’t assess the situation clearly.
Is he just being nice, or is he flirting?
Thankfully, his behavior generally speaks volumes.
Here are 11 signs a man feels a deep attraction for you, according to psychology.
Learn to read between the lines.
1) He’s around
A guy consistently being around you can be a strong indicator of attraction.
If you’re in the same friend group, maybe you notice that he tags along to whatever plans you suggest.
If you work together, perhaps he takes his lunch break at the same time you do every day so he can engage you in conversation.
Humans are social beings, and we tend to spend time with people we enjoy being around.
As psychologists point out, if a guy keeps hanging around and chatting with you, he probably likes you.
At the end of the day, it’s not rocket science.
2) He looks nervous when you talk
Another sign that a man feels a deep attraction to you is that he gets flustered or giddy when you’re around.
According to psychology, there’s a connection between attraction and anxiety.
You can easily gauge a man’s nervousness:
- He keeps tapping his foot or playing with his hands
- He adjusts his clothes constantly
- He blushes if you smile or talk to him
- He trips over his words and struggles to articulate his thoughts coherently
- He is physically clumsy or accident-prone in your presence
- He has difficulty maintaining eye contact
Of course, the guy you’re trying to read may have a high level of confidence, in which case he might feel excited rather than anxious when you’re close by.
That brings us to the next point on the list.
3) He makes intense eye contact
Intense eye contact is a powerful indicator of attraction.
A person can convey much more with a look than with words, which is why we maintain eye contact when flirting.
In a romantic context, intense eye contact is a sign of desire.
Research has shown that prolonged eye contact can stimulate the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.”
Oxytocin plays a key role in bonding, further reinforcing feelings of attraction.
By locking eyes with you, the man in question is signaling his interest and communicating that he would love to see more of you.
Preferably with as few clothes on as possible.
4) He touches you whenever he can
Does the guy you have a crush on take every opportunity he can to touch you?
Then he might already be head over heels.
Touch is a fundamental way in which humans express affection.
When a guy is deeply attracted to you, he will seek out opportunities for physical contact to (hopefully) strengthen the bond between you.
His touches will likely be innocent, so you may not even notice them at first.
For instance:
- He helps you put on or take off your coat, gently draping it over your shoulders or guiding your arms into the sleeves
- He intentionally brushes against you as he moves past or stands nearby
- He places his hand on the small of your back to guide or support you as you walk through a crowd
- He lightly touches your arm or shoulder to emphasize a point while making conversation
Oh, and if he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear?
You’re golden.
5) He mirrors your body language
Mirroring body language is a subconscious behavior in which someone imitates the gestures, posture, and movements of the person they’re interacting with.
When a man is attracted to you, he may unconsciously mimic your body language as a way of establishing rapport.
He might adopt a similar posture to yours, such as crossing his legs when you cross yours or leaning back in his chair when you do.
Or, he might adjust his energy level to match yours, such as speaking more softly if you’re quiet or becoming more animated if you’re excited.
When that happens, you’ve hit the jackpot.
6) He actively listens to you
Going beyond body language, a clear sign that a man feels a deep attraction for you is that he actively listens when you talk.
Active listening fosters a sense of emotional connection and intimacy.
By paying close attention to your words and emotions, he’s signaling his desire to bond with you on a deeper level and understand your inner world.
What does this look like?
He nods encouragingly, asks you pertinent questions, and doesn’t get distracted while you talk.
He also commits the information you’re trying to convey to memory.
7) He remembers details about you
Speaking of memory, a guy who is deeply attracted to you will remember random details about you.
If you share an anecdote with him, he might bring it up later on.
If you tell him when your birthday is, you’ll wake up to a cute message on the day in question.
I once mentioned a book I was looking forward to when chatting with a guy I wasn’t sure was into me or not.
A couple of weeks later, he messaged me saying he saw the book I wanted in a local bookshop and asked me whether I already read/enjoyed it.
Needless to say, he became significantly more alluring to me after that.
8) He likes your social media posts
We live in the digital age, so we now have to decipher online mixed messages too.
And these can be even trickier to figure out because guys sometimes like photos on social media absentmindedly.
In certain cases, however, liking someone’s pics can signal that you’re attracted to them.
As one guy puts it, “Nine out of 10 likes are given to girls I want to have sex with.”
I would add that context matters a lot. If a man occasionally likes your posts, it’s no big deal.
But if he consistently likes your selfies?
He’s likely trying to make a point, in the most risk-free way possible.
9) He seeks your approval
When a guy brags about something going right for him, he’s either incredibly arrogant or trying to impress.
Unfortunately, it’s not easy to figure out which is which, especially if you don’t know him well.
Still, a man going the extra mile to convey that he’s a catch signals that he’s attracted to you.
He might also ask your opinion on various matters, from his outfit to his plans for the evening.
He’s doing it to gauge your approval and ensure that his choices meet your standards.
As long as he doesn’t go overboard, it’s quite sweet.
10) He’s protective of you
According to psychology, a man’s protective instincts often kick in when he has a crush.
He wants to keep you safe and comfortable, so he becomes more attentive:
- He walks you to your car or waits until you’re safely inside your home after a night out
- He offers to help you carry heavy bags
- He offers a listening ear when you’re feeling stressed or upset
- He assists with a complicated task/project
- He notices when you seem miserable in a social situation and takes steps to make you feel more at ease (he takes you aside, guides the conversation in a different direction, and so on)
All in all, he makes you feel safe around him.
That’s always a plus.
11) He opens up
If a man feels a deep attraction for you, he’ll likely show you his vulnerable side in an effort to create intimacy.
Vulnerability is a powerful tool for building trust in a relationship, psychologists insist.
When someone shares their insecurities or past experiences, it creates an atmosphere of openness and honesty that may push the other person to do the same.
On that note, if a man you’re friendly with but not close to suddenly starts to share all about his fears and inner demons, it might be because he’s falling for you.
His attraction isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, too.
Final thoughts
While each person is different, a guy who checks the majority of the signs on the list is probably deeply attracted to you.
Whether you’re willing to wait for him to officially ask you out or make a move yourself, that’s up to you.
If you ask me, patience is overrated.
You only live once.
