Have you been dating someone for a while and you feel like your conversations are becoming stale?
What if you could put some spark back into your talks with your girlfriend?
Try these 25 hacks for creating new conversation topics to keep things fresh and new with your girlfriend!
1) Stay curious
The key to a good conversation is to be curious. Try asking your girlfriend open-ended questions instead of short ‘yes’ or ‘no’ based inquiries. You might find that you learn more about something you don’t know much about in her life.
Take your time, and let her speak. It’s easy to assume that you know someone, but people we have known a long time can always surprise us if we simply as the right questions.
When you ask open-ended questions, you keep the conversation flowing and give your girlfriend a chance to respond in detail. Keep digging deeper.
She is going to be an expert in something that might completely surprise you. And this might be a far more interesting conversation than simply asking about her day at work and listening to what she went about doing.
Don’t assume that because she says she had a good day, she’s not interested in talking about it further. She might have been up to all sorts of things that you aren’t aware of.
2) Ask about her passions
If your girlfriend has a hobby or a passion that she’s really into, ask her how she started doing it and how she got so passionate about it. Then ask her if there are any challenges that she’s faced that you can help with.
Try to be involved and interested. It helps someone to open up and bring back some life to our conversations.
People love talking about how they want to improve. And showing interest with no judgment will have her talking openly and excitedly.
For example, if your girlfriend is passionate about yoga, ask her how she started doing it and what got her into yoga. Next, ask her what challenges she’s faced with yoga-like maybe certain poses are difficult for her or maybe it’s hard to find time to practice yoga.
Following this, you can tell her how you can help her with the challenge and offer to go to yoga classes together. You’ll be helping each other out while also having an interesting conversation topic!
This hack works best if you’re dating someone who enjoys going deep into their hobbies, like art or writing or a sport.
3) Discuss your dreams
Ask your girlfriend about her dreams and goals with her career. Then ask what she wants to do in her life that she hasn’t done yet.
There are few things as interesting as hearing someone’s goals for the future, especially when they’re close to achieving them.
When you are ready you can share some of your aspirations and dream about how the future might look if you had no inhibitions. If you aren’t clear on your own, there are a series of 50 questions you can ask yourself to understand what your goals are too, in case she wants to know in return.
4) Share an embarrassing story from your past
Everyone has embarrassing stories from their past, so why not share one with your girlfriend? You will at least share a good laugh and humor is one of the best ways to bond with someone.
Try asking some questions like:
- When you were a kid, did you do something silly?
- Did you have a secret that you kept from everyone?
- What was the best lie you ever told?
- Did something funny happen at work or school?
This is a great conversation starter because it allows your girlfriend to share an embarrassing story with you as well.
This way, it feels like you’re both talking about each other instead of just talking about yourself. And you get to know a part of someone’s past that they might not have thought about for a while.
5) Pretend you just met her
This hack is great for those of you who have been dating for a while and feel like you know everything about each other. Try imagining you are going on a first date again. Let her speak like it’s the first time that you are meeting.
Pretend you just met your girlfriend and ask her a bunch of questions about herself:
- What’s her favorite color?
- If she could go anywhere, where in the world would she go?
- What was her most formative experience growing up?
- What comfort would she always keep on her when traveling?
- Ask questions about places she’s lived and people she knows.
Try to understand why she loves these things. There’s usually a deeper story behind why something stands out as a favorite or a significant moment.
For example, she might wear a certain piece of jewelry because it was from a special trip or a memory of an important person in her life. Or one of her tattoos might tell you more about a significant moment in her life.
Pretending that you’re meeting her for the first time will force you to learn more about each other and it will keep the conversation going!
And if you want to take the conversation a step further, you can try the 36 questions that can lead to love. These questions were used in a study to build intimacy between strangers because they got progressively more meaningful. Worth a try!
6) Tell her a secret
Ask your girlfriend for a secret about her, then tell her one about you.
Be sure to keep the conversation going by asking questions about each other’s secrets.
Have you ever done something that you haven’t told anyone? Do you have a bucket list? What’s your idea of the best way to spend the next five years if you had all the money in the world? What’s the craziest thing you or she’s done? Did she ever take off somewhere without telling anyone? Did she pass on a conventional opportunity for love? What is your guiding motto in life?
Telling some of these things we don’t normally tell others is a great way to get to know each other on a deeper level as well as have an interesting conversation. So don’t be afraid to open up and give her the chance to do the same!
7) Share a funny story about yourself
When you’re in a deep relationship, there are few things better than receiving a funny story from your partner. Humor is a key ingredient for romantic love.
So, why not share one of your funniest stories? Do you have a great list of jokes? Puns? Time to get them out and share!
To do this, you’ll need to find something that happened to you recently that made you laugh and then tell them about it. Or relate some of your wittiest insights from the day. Or start watching some more stand-up to get your humor thriving again.
If they’re as amused by the story as you were when it happened, they’ll appreciate hearing about the funny incident. And everyone loves a good laugh.
8) Tell her your best memory with her
No matter how long you’ve been together, you’ll always have a favorite memory of the two of you.
Ask your girlfriend to tell you hers and then tell her yours.
This is a great way to make the person feel special. It will also give both of you insight into what makes the other person happy and what they enjoy doing together.
9) Tell her what she means to you
If she’s important to you, tell her!
There’s no better way of showing someone how much they mean than telling them exactly what they mean to you.
You could really surprise her and write out your ideas in a letter to her and read it aloud the next time you are having a romantic moment.
Don’t be afraid to get cheesy or sentimental if that’s your thing.
It doesn’t matter how silly or goofy your feelings are; just make sure she knows how much she means to you.
10) Play a game
This hack works great for first dates, long walks, or for people who are on a long road trips together.
Find a game that you both know and play it together. This can last for hours and easily bring up the level of joy in a conversation.
Games like “Would you rather,” “Would you rather have legs or arms?” and “I have to get rid of one of these things; what do I get rid of?” are good conversation starters because they allow both people to talk about their opinions.
You can find over a hundred more examples of these questions if you run out of ideas.
These games can also help spark up an interesting topic for the two of you to talk about, so it’s a win-win situation.
11) Tell her what you like about her most
If you’ve been dating for a while and things are going well, it might be time for you to tell her what she means to you.
Tell her that she’s special and that she makes you happy. Tell her all of the things that make her so great in your eyes and how much those traits mean to you.
It’ll make her feel good knowing how much she means to someone because sometimes we all need reassurance from time to time.
Try to think beyond looks and sexual attraction and bring up ideas of her character and kindness. There are some more ideas to compliment her on to help make your relationship last.
12) Ask her questions about her family
Everyone has some sort of relationship with their family, so you can ask questions about it to your girlfriend.
- How is her dad? How is her mom?
- Do they get along?
- Do they fight a lot?
- What’s your favorite memory with your parents?
- What’s the worst memory you have of them?
These are all interesting questions to ask, especially if you know that she doesn’t get along with one of them.
This will allow you to learn more about her and also give you a chance to talk about yourself as well.
There’s a list of thirty more questions to ask about her family and friends if you want some more ideas.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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13) Talk about your past relationships
This is a great way to talk about your past relationships and how they were. You can also start to understand what areas you might need to work on together and where some tenderness is needed.
You can start by asking her questions like:
- What was the best thing that happened in your previous relationships?
- What was the worst thing that happened?
- What did you learn most about yourself by dating them?
- How did you meet them?
- What do you always wish you would have tried with them?
- How long did it last?
These are all great topics to talk about with your girlfriend because they give her an idea of who you are and what type of person you like to date.
This will help her understand you better and also allow both of you to talk about yourselves.
14) Discuss your fears and goals
Everyone has fears, so you can talk about yours with your girlfriend.
- What’s something you’re afraid of?
- What do you fear the most in your life?
- Do you have any goals for your future?
- How long have you had this dream?
- What are they?
- What got in your way?
These are all great questions to ask her because they will allow her to get to know you better and it will help both of you feel more comfortable around each other.
It might even open the door to start actively exploring some of these fears together.
For example, if she mentions that she is afraid of heights, you could ask if she wants to try a little challenge to explore it, like hiking to the top of a lighthouse or a lookout vista. In small increments, you can help each other challenge your sense of comfort, which can ultimately bring you closer together.
15) Talk about your favorite things
You can talk about your favorite things to do, places to go, food to eat, and anything else that you enjoy in life. Pick one thing and go out and experience it together and then ask more questions.
You won’t be at a loss for words if it’s something that she loves.
This hack will allow you both to get to know each other better and it will also help spark up some interesting conversation topics for the two of you.
16) Talk about your job history
This is another great hack because it will allow you to talk about your past jobs, what you did at said jobs, and how you feel about them.
This will help both of you get to know each other better and it will also spark up some interesting conversation topics for the two of you to talk about in the future.
One of my favorite questions to ask are all the crazy jobs that you did as a teenager. If you think back you might both have rather hilarious stories to share.
17) Discuss your favorite movies and TV shows
You can ask her what her favorite movie is and why she likes it so much.
You can also ask her about some of the actors in the movie, what other movies they’ve been in, etc.
Or what type of movies she hates to watch.
This conversation hack is a great way to get to know each other better and it will also spark up some interesting conversation topics for you both to talk about.
You’ll also get to know which movie is her comfort movie when she is stressed or ill and be ready to watch it with her.
18) Talk about your relationship goals
This hack will allow you to talk about your future together as a couple, so it’s a great way to get to know each other better. You can ask questions like:
- What do you want out of your relationship?
- How long do you want it to last?
- What is a great relationship to you?
- What is your definition of a great exchange?
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
These are all great questions that allow both of you to get to know each other better. It’s also good conversation starters because they allow both people in the relationship to talk about themselves and their opinions.
They make the other person feel more comfortable around you and they allow both people to open up about themselves.
19) Talk about your musical tastes
You can ask her what her favorite song is and why. You can also ask her if she listens to any specific genre of music and if so, what kind of music she listens to.
Try to find out what song was the first one she fell in love with and why?
- Which one brings back the feeling of being in love?
- Which song she can’t help but dance to?
- Which song does she surprisingly know all the words to?
This is a great conversation starter because it will get you both to talk about music together, which can help you both get to know each other better.
It’s also a good conversation starter because it will spark up some interesting conversation topics for the two of you to talk about in the future.
20) Talk about your favorite food
This hack is a great way to get to know each other better and it will also spark up some interesting conversation topics for the two of you to talk about in the future.
You can ask her what her favorite food is and why she likes it so much. Perhaps she traveled somewhere significant and the food left a lasting memory. Or maybe her grandmother taught her how to cook a special dish.
You can also ask her if she has any favorite recipes that she can teach you how to make. This can lead to a great night of cooking and sharing and eating something new and delicious. Can’t go wrong!
21) Ask her what she is most proud of
This is a great conversation starter because it will get you both to talk about what makes someone proud.
This is also a good question to ask when she has something important going on in her life, like getting a degree or graduating from university or has already achieved something that she is humble about, like writing a novel.
Your girlfriend might be quiet or reserved and not used to talking about her achievements. So why not be her biggest fan?
22) Ask her what makes her most uncomfortable
This is a great question to ask when she has something important going on in her life, like getting a degree starting a new job, or a friendship that she finds challenging.
You can start to learn more about her by asking her what she doesn’t like about the situation, what the most uncomfortable part is and what makes her continue.
You can start to see what gives someone a sense of grit and perseverance. And this will give you great insight into her mindset and attitude in life.
What will she pass on? What will she stubbornly stay on course for?
Knowing what makes your girlfriend tick will tell you a great deal about her values and character.
23) Be a better listener
One great conversation hack that also makes you a more likable person is very simple – ask more questions.
This means not just asking a series of open-ended questions, but making contact, encouraging noises and comments, mimicking their body language, and nodding your head while you listen.
All of these cues let the speaker know that you are actively engaged in what they say. This will make your girlfriend feel more comfortable around you and like you even more!
24) Ask for advice on something
Your girlfriend knows you pretty well. She knows that you’re a great guy and that you’re always there for her.
But sometimes you don’t know what to say, how to react, or how to help her with something. Ask her what she thinks and ask for advice on something. She probably has a great deal of insight into helping you with a decision.
For example, you might not know what to get your sister for her birthday. Ask your girlfriend for advice, and take a keen interest in what she values and thinks of as nice. This can give you clues into what she might like for herself.
Asking for advice can make you more likable and memorable to your girlfriend.
25) Make her feel good
One of the most important things you can do to make your girlfriend feel good is to make her laugh.
When she laughs, it’s a great way to let her know that you’re thinking about her and that you’re happy she’s there. She will smile and laugh with you, which makes her feel even better about you.
And it’s also a great way for her to get rid of any stress hormones in her body and relax. So spend some time making your girlfriend laugh and being funny around each other! Laughter is the best medicine!
So what’s next?
If you want to make your girlfriend feel more positive about you and vice versa, these are some of the best ways that you can do it with conversation.
People will always remember how you make them feel. Not what was said. This is an important lesson to remember.
The better she feels, the better you will also feel in the conversation.
So as long as you keep the conversations, even the more serious ones, upbeat and focused on a compassionate, happy mindset, your girlfriend will be left in a better mood speaking with you. This will help her to want to share more uplifting and inspirational stories.
This is probably why comics and witty, humorous people do so well in life.
The mood is important. Making someone feel better when you talk with them is worth more than gold.
Also, remember the more time you spend with your partner doesn’t mean that the feeling of your interactions has to grow old and degrade. It’s up to you to keep things lively and interesting!
Overall, Keep learning! Keep curious! Make her feel good!
Never assume you know your girlfriend completely and you will be pleasantly surprised. And that’s the best part of having these sorts of conversations. You can find new ways to fall in love with her over and over.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder