You love people. You love talking to them. You love being with them. You love having fun with them. You’re sociable. At least, that’s what others think about you. Yet, you can’t stand parties.
Does this relate to you? What does sociability even mean?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, sociability is “the quality of liking to meet and spend time with other people”. But to be truly sociable also means to have one by one conversations with people. Is this really possible at parties?
Even if it sounds a bit strange, it’s true: sociable people do hate parties, and they have plenty of reasons for it. So, if you’re often called sociable but deep down hate parties deep, you will probably relate to these 7 reasons why sociable people can’t stand parties.
1) They seek personal relationships
Have you ever thought about why sociable people are sociable? What do they like about interacting with people?
As the Greek philosopher, Aristotle once said, “Man is by nature a social animal”. This means that social interactions are vital for us to survive. Active social life is accompanied by plenty of benefits, but I believe the greatest one among them is the ability to receive social support.
Yes, people seek intimate relationships in order to share their problems, express their thoughts and feelings and feel better. Now imagine a party scenario. Loud music, lots of people, dancing, noise, and mess… Does this sound attractive?
Is it possible to talk to people one on one at parties? Yes, but sometimes. However, even if it’s possible, there’s no way you can manage to get social support and share your inner feelings. But social people seek intimate relationships. That’s one of the reasons why they hate parties.
2) They’re tired of being called extroverts
When I think of the most common questions people ask at parties, something like this always comes to my mind:
“Are you an extrovert or an introvert?”
It’s something people have asked me countless times, but somehow I never had the answer. Now you may think that it’s pretty simple to choose one of these two options. But actually, things aren’t that easy.
Did you know that there are no such things as introversion or extraversion? People are neither totally introverted nor totally extroverted. Think about “extraverts” who crave to stay at home and read books or “introverts” who enjoy chatting with strangers at parties. Introversion-extraversion is a spectrum and you could be at any point on the scale in different situations.
What does this mean?
It means that today you may be eager to have fun with your friends at a party, but you can’t tell if tomorrow you will prefer to stay home all alone.
But sociable people often feel pressure. “Come on, you’re an extravert, you need to have fun”.
No, I’m not an extravert and I’m tired of being called so!
3) They don’t want to ruin their daily routine
Being a sociable person doesn’t mean that you don’t want to have a great daily routine. They enjoy communicating with people, but they understand that a good daily schedule is the key to becoming the best version of themselves.
Let me rely on that one Greek philosopher, Aristotle, once again. As he said, “We are what we repeatedly do”. But can sociable people manage to find their true selves by going to parties every day?
They can’t. Sometimes they have a strong desire to stay at home just to go to bed and sleep. They like to have fun, but they hate searching for taxis at night, having hangovers, and feeling drained of energy in the morning.
They just realize that no party is worth more than a warm bed, good night’s sleep and no worries about the other day.
So, sometimes even sociable people acknowledge that no party is worth ruining your daily routine.
4) They don’t like drinking
As simple as that. It doesn’t matter whether you’re sociable or unsociable, friendly or unfriendly, some people just don’t like drinking.
People like drinking for fun. It boosts our mood and helps us feel more relaxed. After all, it’s a great social habit. But drinking isn’t something for everybody.
I know a lot of people who don’t like the taste of alcohol. Even more, many of my friends believe that it’s just a waste of time or that they just can’t bear hangovers the other day.
But refusing to drink at parties? Can you even imagine that? Probably the thing you imagine more clearly is a bunch of people constantly asking you “why don’t you drink?” “Come on, it’s just one drink”.
But what if they don’t even want this one drink? Getting rid of social pressure can be really hard at parties. And that’s why sociable people who don’t like drinking can’t stand parties.
5) They want to spend time with close friends instead of strangers
Let’s imagine you’re a sociable person who truly adores parties.
You like music. You like to dance. The idea of spending Friday nights at clubs full of strangers makes you excited. But it’s been so long since you haven’t seen your friends. You like being with your friends. But they don’t like parties.
What are you going to do?
Sociable people know the value of being around their close friends. Sometimes they feel the need to sit comfortably at home and chat with their friends or watch movies together.
But at parties, you have to spend so much energy to find a proper stranger who will talk to you and entertain you. But you can’t be in the mood to talk to strangers all the time. And sociable people are aware of it.
Admit it. What do you value more? A quiet conversation with your best friend, or looking for the right stranger to talk to? Even when talking to strangers makes us feel happy sometimes, now you probably understand why sociable people prefer relaxed chats over noisy parties.
6) They need to relax
“5 things that help you relax after the party is over”.
Have you ever Googled something like this? If your answer is positive, you probably know how much energy it takes to attend parties.
Listening to music, dancing, standing up for a long time, getting one drink over another, chaos, chaos, chaos… Sometimes you even wish you had never accepted the invitation. But you did! So you need to adapt.
You need to socialize, you need to find a stranger and communicate, you need to dance and drink.
That’s how you feel when you’re at the party. You don’t think about it. You know it unconsciously. But what about when the party’s over?
Your mind is out of control. You have zero energy. You NEED to relax!
But can you really relax when you feel pressure to attend one party after another? I don’t think so. If you’re a sociable person, chances are high you know the feeling.
7) They prefer different types of sociable activities
As I said, sometimes sociable people prefer quiet ways of living. But I’m not trying here to prove that they don’t like group activities in general.
Sociable people do like social activities. Actually, taking part in social activities is the essence of being sociable. They help us meet new people, strengthen our relationships and feel better.
But why do we immediately think of parties when it comes to social activities?
What about going out together to eat, planning movie nights, playing video games, or going on road trips together? Even if someone doesn’t attend parties every Friday night, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t sociable. Maybe they just have better things to do…
A party isn’t a synonym for sociability
Just try to remember that. Even if you identify yourself as a sociable person, there’s no urge to accept all the party invitations you receive. You will still like people. You will still find ways to have a good time. But not at parties. Because you hate parties!
Going to parties isn’t an obligation for sociable people. It’s exhausting and even stressful sometimes. So, before you plan a noisy Friday night for your sociable friend, don’t forget to ask them whether they like parties.
And if you are the one who wants to be sociable but has a strong desire to stay at home, relax because it’s normal. Sociable people do hate parties!