It’s all about figuring out who you are beyond your circumstances.
Who are you when you aren’t reacting to your thoughts and emotions? When you are using them as tools to define life for yourself?
And while it’s one of those things that will take a bit of time, there are bits and pieces of hope that you’ll discover along the way.
That’s why I’m here!
Here are 10 reasons why taking responsibility for everything that happens in life is the most important focus in life.
1) It increases your sense of accountability
Which in turn will help you grow a sense of trust in yourself.
When you acknowledge that you are the architect of your own future, you become more present. And therefore become more conscious of your actions and decisions.
This increased awareness translates to a deeper sense of responsibility over everything you can control.
In the same vein, that means you’ll be less concerned with the things you can’t control!
So no matter the consequences, you’ll become more accepting yet determined for change because you understand that no one can make life happen for you, except you.
2) You can gain a sense of empowerment
Listen – the world is going to tell you who you are no matter what.
People are always going to make assumptions about you based on your appearance, gender and whatever else they can get their eyes and fears on.
But when you are aware of what you do and why you do, it’s a lot easier to see that most people’s actions towards you are a reflection of their relationship with themselves.
That sense of trust you solidify within you is what’s going to help you navigate life’s challenges and make sound decisions!
So to be empowered, is to take responsibility for how you deal with life’s unknowns.
3) It’s a sign you are capable of self-reflection
Embracing responsibility requires introspection.
When you consistently evaluate your actions in a mindful way plus their consequences, you will cultivate a sense of self-reflection that doesn’t feel intrusive.
Intrusive as in… hard on yourself or a reflection of your fears of not being perfect.
I think sometimes – myself included – taking responsibility can be difficult because you have to look at yourself with the right amount of compassion.
And that means vulnerability! Which is something that takes practice to become comfortable with.
So despite the difficulties, it’s worth taking time to understand your goals, values and the impact you wish to have on the world.
4) It instills a proactive mindset
Life still has its ebbs and flows.
There are good seasons and bad seasons – quite literally since I struggle with seasonal depression – the only difference now is how I react differently to them.
Instead of reacting to my circumstances, a proactive mindset allows me to anticipate challenges by planning strategically.
For example, regarding my seasonal depression: I could place unrealistic expectations of myself to perform a certain way despite my body physically being unable to.
Or, I could schedule plenty of rest periods and self-care into my routine so that I don’t crash and burn. That way, I’m still able to get something done.
And trust me, I’ve taken more baths this week than you’ll ever know.
5) It builds resilience
For me, grace requires a lot of humor and learning how to not take life so seriously.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t care or that I am reckless with it.
It’s what I call the “duality of resilience” – where I’m able to understand that certain experiences and lessons have their time and place in my life.
For example, sometimes I am extremely sensitive and need a lot of time away from those who are anything less than peaceful.
Whereas other times, I find myself being able to transmute chaos with a blink and even a smile!
If I didn’t take responsibility for my experiences, I’d probably spend a lot more time in my head overthinking about how I need to be more “consistent” in the way I feel.
But I don’t because I understand that my emotions are there to be accepted, not criticized.
Which allows me to view life as something to adapt to, rather than react to.
6) It enhances your emotional intelligence
When you improve your relationship with your emotions, it will broaden your capacity to hold space for complexity.
While understanding how you can make decisions that use empathy responsibly.
Something I’ve recently fully grasped is how empathy is not a pity party.
So by taking responsibility for what happens in your life, that can include you removing yourself from situations because you don’t believe they are a healthy environment.
Or being able to harbor a sense of peace that is unwavering no matter what is happening in your life.
Sort of like being able to say, “yeah, things are a little messy – but I’m glad I have me to handle this.”
Especially when it comes to your relationships as an adult because those things are nothing but complex.
7) It improves the quality of your relationships
Personally, I think it’s because I allow myself to prioritize my own perspectives while understanding that people have their own experiences to process.
So I should let them take responsibility for themselves because that’s what’s fair. They deserve to have the opportunity to do so.
With an overactive sense of empathy, you might rush to understand another person while abandoning yourself completely.
You might even find yourself feeling attracted to dynamics where you are valued as the “fixer” or something like that where people have roles to play.
But once you take back your power and give that back to yourself, you will gradually become un-attracted to draining experiences where you are limited to who you can be.
And once you feel the stress leave your life, you won’t be looking back.
8) It reduces stress in the long-run
As someone with ADHD, brain fog and anxiety are my biggest enemies as a young adult trying to figure out how to be a human being.
And stress and a lack of sleep are the biggest culprits for exacerbating these issues.
When you instill a bunch of positive habits into your life, it will take off a huge load off your shoulders.
Not to mention, it will clearly outline where you need to improve your routine.
For example, along with ADHD because life thought I wasn’t struggling enough, I also have PMDD!
That means for around 10 days out of each month, I am physically and mentally debilitated because of my menstrual cycle.
The thing here is that I didn’t even know there was a pattern to my anxiety and other PMDD-related issues until I got my life together in order to pay attention to these symptoms.
Which goes without saying how self-awareness is more than a mental concept.
It can be a physical one too where you take care of yourself in the way you need.
9) It helps you make more effective decisions
More than making the “wrong decisions,” I would say that a lot of people struggle with “indecision.”
Especially if they can afford to, people can get stuck in their comfort zones and inhibit their own personal growth.
For me, getting stuck can make me feel insatiable, insecure and even worsen certain mental illnesses.
And trying to make decisions can be terrifying because of the fears regarding failure that you’ve buried in your comfort.
Which convinces you that there are “wrong” and “right” decisions.
And sure – there are definitely decisions that are more strategic than others. But that’s the thing, you can only do your best and nothing is guaranteed.
Going forward in your life despite them and making choices that reflect your values will never steer you wrong.
Instead, you’ll likely thank yourself for the personal growth you’ve allowed yourself to embody no matter the outcome.
10) It forces you to look at the bigger picture
Giving yourself the gift of personal freedom will grant you the ability to appreciate the bigger picture.
An obvious example would be how you take care of your health.
Once I became aware of how certain habits worsened my mental health, I made plenty of lifestyle changes that now reflect how I want to live a long life.
Which is an achievement in itself as someone who struggled with depression since I was really young.
In a less obvious way, it’s in the way you deal with your problems because certain things simply don’t require a reaction out of you.
To get into the habit of this, I encourage you to ask yourself: will this matter in a few years?
Do I deserve to feel stressed out from thinking about all this?
It’s like a muscle – try journaling about these thoughts to help yourself remember and get it out of your system.
If you want to get good at something, make sure you suck at it first.
Meaning if you find it really difficult to change your life and take responsibility for it, that’s a part of the process.
There’s plenty of wisdom to be learned in the way you respond to your challenges.
In those moments, I found it beneficial to ask myself: who are you when no one is looking?
Oddly enough, prioritizing whoever that is made a lot of my fears regarding change become smaller.
More specifically, smaller in comparison to who I am and wanted to be.
