If there’s only one thing people will definitely work hard for, it’s love. In fact, you may have found yourself trying to piece it together as if love is a jigsaw puzzle, figuring out the right strategy for it. But that’s not how love is.
In all honesty, using the wise words of Rex Orange County, loving is easy.
Love is intricate but it’s not like a labyrinth. Love doesn’t have all these twists and turns that you have to navigate through in order to feel.
In this article, we dive right into why love isn’t actually so complicated (and we might surprise you).
1) Love is a choice.
One thing about love is that it’s a constant choice.
And it might sound a bit complicated to consciously and constantly choose someone, but when you’re with someone you truly love, everything will make sense.
With love being a choice, you learn that other options don’t factor into what love is. You discover that even the most trivial things surrounding your love life won’t faze you and your significant other.
Because love is a choice, it reminds you every day of your safe space. And this applies to your partner as well. If they love you, there aren’t any if’s or a hidden fine print about negativities.
You’ll know they love you when they are open to working towards choosing you every day.
2) Love is certain.
When you love someone, you don’t have any doubts or reservations about your relationship.
Because love is a choice, you are aware of your other options. And so when you choose your person, you intentionally choose to be with them no matter the circumstance. Whether it be good days or bad days, you won’t suddenly want to jump ship.
When you love someone, you are certain.
Every single day, every single minute, every single second you choose your partner. And you know deep inside that whatever may come, you’re 100% sure they’re your person.
3) Love accepts.
When it’s love, your heart opens up and allows you to gain an understanding of what used to seem like uncertainties.
You know you love someone and that they love you when you both no longer question why things are happening to the both of you. You take on your problems together and ease things out.
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You both embrace growth and you are both fond of each version of each other – no matter how much either of you changes. You love who they were in the past, who they are now, and who they can become in the future. Because in the end, you find home in each other no matter what. And mere changes won’t change that.
If all the “what if’s” you can think of happens, they will still be the end goal. You’re still the person they want to come home to. You’re both there for the long run and it shows.
4) Love forgives.
Despite love not being complicated, there will always be arguments and small hiccups. But the silver lining is that when you and your s/o love each other, patience will always persevere.
When you both love each other you don’t let your worst get ahead of you. You make sure that you create a safe space for each other.
And when you do slip up and say words you don’t mean, you should be open to taking accountability for what you’ve done or said wrong.
In the end, you’ll both find a common ground or you pave a path together. You learn to forgive and learn from your mistakes based on a mutually agreed understanding. Sometimes arguments can really take a toll on a relationship but when you both learn to forgive each other, you see how you both came from a place of love.
5) Love makes sense.
In storybooks and movies, you hear of fate. And sometimes you think it’s all just a fantasy that tries to lure a child filled with wonder. But when you find love, if it truly is love, things just make sense.
You and your partner jive completely. Your thoughts and your actions are in sync.
You take one look at your partner and you just know. It’s honestly so heartwarming to feel how you’re both on the same wavelength.
You follow the same pace and every step you take forward feels like it’s meant to be. Sometimes it feels like it’s too good to be true but that doesn’t take away the fact that you feel like you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
6) Love makes you transparent.
When you love someone, you don’t feel the need to keep anything from them. Your actions are bursting with honesty and vulnerability at the seams.
When you love someone, you don’t obsess over playing hard to get. The connection is real and true when you’re willing to put your heart on your sleeve.
You’re not afraid of telling them how you feel. And with transparency, your significant other won’t have to resort to guessing games.
7) Love compromises.
People say it’s tricky to understand where you fit in a person’s life but when it’s love, you find that everything falls into place. There are no winners and losers in misunderstandings when you’re both open to compromise.
When you really love someone, you’re open to shifting things around. More often than not though, you’ve already left some wiggle room for them. And they’ve done the same for you.
It’s clear to you both that you both come from different backgrounds and compromise is your step towards a common understanding.
This is part of what uncomplicates things in your relationship. You’re not afraid to go the extra mile for them because they mean so much to you. Sometimes you might even give in to what they want because you like seeing how happy they are.
That smile on their face is enough to put a smile on yours for the whole week.
8) Love makes time.
Love isn’t the only thing in your life. You also have to try and balance your work life, social life, and your love life. This busy lifestyle can cause dynamic changes in a relationship.
But when you love a person, you make time for them, even if it means you’ll shift your whole schedule for them. If it means you’ll have to do your dishes late at night and you’ll have to push back a few internal deadlines, if it’s for them, you’ll do it.
And you see them doing the same for you without even asking. Even if it means that the only time you’ll get to spend with each other would be running errands or doing the laundry.
Love makes time for you, even when you least expect them to because you know how busy they are. If it’s you, there will always be time.
9) Love is honest.
Ever heard of tough love? No one loves brutal honesty but in love sometimes there’s a form of that. Because you’re so open and accepting of each other, you can become really frank about your feelings. But if you love someone, you are gentle when you are honest.
If it’s love, you tell them when they’re in the wrong. You’re not afraid to speak your mind and unleash your opinions on where they made a mistake.
Love lets you know the truth, even when it’s hard to do so. If you need some space to work on yourself, you should tell them about how you feel. You help them understand you and where you’re coming from. You should be able to dump all of your worries into them.
Love requires this form of communication and it can only be fostered in a loving and understanding relationship.
10) Love sees the details.
Finally, if it truly is love, they can really surprise you with the extent to how much they know you. When it’s love, even the most little things are noticed.
When you are uncomfortable with something, your significant other will most definitely notice it. If you’re at a party and you suddenly just want to leave, they will notice it with the way you are acting. Your s/o will notice your struggles and will do something to make you comfortable.
When you are loved, they know how you like your coffee. They know which song would instantly light you up on a bad day. They know your comfort food and the food you despise the most. They know all these little things that you didn’t really talk about before but somehow they noticed.
They even take note of things you just said in passing. The way they see you and your wants just ease up a lot of things.
If the majority of this list doesn’t apply to you and your significant other, maybe it’s not love. Or maybe it isn’t love just yet.