Ever had someone tell you, “You think too much!” or “You’re overthinking it!”?
That probably means you’re a deep thinker.
And while the term is often used critically, it’s actually a really good thing about your personality when you keep it in check.
It’s also one of the things that can make you so easy to love. Not to mention a trait that can make a relationship so healthy and fulfilling!
If you’re a deep thinker, or are about to date one, you could be headed towards a truly meaningful relationship that makes you feel seen and loved.
Want to know why? Check out these 7 reasons why deep thinkers are simply the best people to fall in love with!
Up first:
1) They notice the small things about you (that most people don’t)
When I was a kid, I remember one of my parent’s friends talking about how attractive observance is in a person.
Back then, I didn’t have a clue what they meant. But now that I’m older, I completely get it!
Having dated people who were and weren’t observant, I can see exactly why observance is attractive in a person.
When you’re a deep thinker, you notice so much about the world around you, including (and especially!) the person you’re in love with.
So, you’re more likely to notice when they’ve changed their hair. Or spot when something isn’t quite right with their behavior.
This observance makes people feel loved for one main reason: because it makes you feel seen.
When someone notices the little things about you, it makes you feel like the most important person in their entire world.
2) They offer genuine compliments
Because deep thinkers are so observant, they see you for who you really are (at least, it feels that way when you interact with them).
They notice the smallest things about your behavior.
Like how cute it is when you fiddle with your earrings as you talk. Or how genuinely you smile when someone cracks a joke.
So when a deep thinker compliments you, they don’t offer the “standard” compliments.
Like “You look nice” or “I think you’re great”. Which are obviously both nice compliments to have.
It’s just that when you’re in love with someone who’s a deep thinker, their compliments will be so much more thoughtful and genuine.
They might say how much they love the way you speak to their nan and grandad. Or how much they adore the way your eyes light up when you smile at them.
And it’ll make you feel truly seen and deeply loved!
3) They do and say nice things
Deep thinkers tend to have a lot of emotional intelligence and empathy. So it’s rare they’ll ever say or do anything insensitive.
It’s also rare that they’ll do anything intentionally cruel just to spite you.
Why? Because a deep thinker tends to have a strong conscience. Their overactive brain wouldn’t let them do or say something mean. Because if they did, it wouldn’t let them stop thinking (and beating themselves up) about it!
Plus, because they have such high empathy and emotional intelligence, they easily pick up on what you like and don’t like. So they know how to treat you in a way that makes you feel loved.
This means they might plan nice dates because they know how good it makes you feel. Or they’ll compliment you often (and, as mentioned, genuinely!) just to see you smile.
4) They reflect on things and make positive changes
Another beautiful thing about a deep thinker is how much they take it all in when you have conversations about the “big stuff”.
If you got into an argument about something, or told them they upset you, they wouldn’t mumble a quick “Sorry” and want to move on.
Instead, they’ll talk about it with you in the moment – and they’ll probably bring it up again later.
Why? Because how you feel is important to them. So they’ll ruminate on what was said, why their actions caused you pain, and what they can do about it to stop them from hurting you again.
Their deep-thinking brain will go over things that were said to understand you better and (ultimately) build a better, more loving relationship with you.
And it’s this kind of behavior that can make you feel so loved and cared for!
5) They’re extremely caring
The high levels of empathy a deep thinker has doesn’t just make them good at spoiling you. It also makes them deeply caring towards you.
Their caring nature also extends to the people and things that are important to you. Like your family, friends, pets, and hobbies.
When you open up to them, they’ll listen because they know it’s important to you.
If you’re sad or upset, they’ll hold you, comfort you, and show you love in just the right way.
And, just like they do after you’ve argued, they’ll think about ways they can make you feel better or ways they can be better.
Like if you’re having a bad day, they might buy you flowers, send you a nice message, or treat you to a nice dinner when you get home.
Or if you’ve told them something from your past, they’ll think about how they can offer you more comfort and reassurance, so they don’t accidentally hurt you in the future.
6) They give great advice
Another reason why it’s so special to fall in love with a deep thinker is because of how good they are to talk to.
People who lack emotional intelligence don’t often see things below the surface. They might jump to conclusions, have a short fuse, disregard your opinions, and refuse to apologize if they’re in the wrong (or if they’ve just upset you).
But a person who over-analyzes things is the complete opposite! They’re thoughtful and understanding, and they often wonder what might be going on beneath the surface.
If someone does something that could be perceived one way, they might question it and offer a different perspective.
If you went to them with a problem, they wouldn’t react angrily or brush you off. They’d listen intently, ponder it with you, ask questions, and (most importantly) offer you advice that’s truly been thought about – rather than just something surface-level.
What I mean is, they’d never tell you to “Get over it” or say something dismissive, like “Oh well, it is what it is” and “I don’t know, you’re just being sensitive!”.
7) They know who they are
The final reason why loving a deep thinker is so rewarding is that they know exactly who they are as a person.
When you date someone who lacks emotional intelligence, it can sometimes feel like they’re sleepwalking through the relationship.
Having dated someone like this before, I can tell you that it was exhausting being the one who understood them more than they did themselves!
They’d constantly get defensive, deny how they felt, and try to move on without ever acknowledging their outbursts.
But when you’re dating a deep thinker, this never happens. They know exactly who they are and actually take the time (and have the capacity!) to think about things after the fact.
They have excellent boundaries themselves when it comes to what they will and won’t tolerate. They also probably have good, long-lasting friendships, too.
And, most importantly, they have enough self-awareness to make sure there’s always growth in the relationship – on their part and as a couple.
Final thoughts
Dating someone who’s an overthinker is sometimes coined as a bad thing. But it really isn’t when you take a closer look at things.
People who think deeply often possess some of the best personality traits and behaviors. They’re kind, supportive, genuine, and thoughtful.
And these people can make you feel truly seen, valued, and loved in a relationship.
So if you’re dating a deep thinker, or if you’re the deep thinker in your relationship, it’s a pretty special thing. And, chances are, you’re pretty special, too!
