10 possible reasons a guy is acting different around you

Let’s be real — men are weird. Sometimes they act in strange ways and say things that don’t always make sense. 

It can be so hard to figure out what they really mean or why they do the things they do. But guess what?

After exploring deeper into the psychology of men, I discovered that there are specific reasons why a guy might be acting differently around you.

In this article, I’ll share my findings with you and try to help you understand why a guy is acting differently around you. So, here are 10 possible explanations.

1) He’s intimidated by you but tries to hide his feelings

Let’s start with the most basic reason why a guy might be acting different around you.

It’s possible that he is intimidated by you.

Perhaps not surprisingly, sometimes, men might be acting weird around you because they are intimidated by women.

Now, this is actually a good thing — it means that you’re confident and strong. However, if you want to take your relationship to the next level, you should try to decrease his level of intimidation.

What’s more, it means a sign that he feels inferior to you and thinks that there is something about you that makes him feel inadequate. 

This means that he respects and admires your qualities, characteristics, and accomplishments. In this case, he might try to impress you because he wants to validate himself in your eyes. 

But if that’s the case, then why is he trying to hide his feelings for you? Why doesn’t he just approach you and tell you that he likes you?

After all, his behavior makes him look weird and you don’t really get what he wants and how he feels, right?

Well, the reason is simple — he’s afraid of rejection.

He doesn’t want to risk getting hurt, so he keeps his feelings for you hidden, which makes him stay away from you. 

However, I’ve got good news for you — all it takes is just simple steps to break this vicious circle and make him open up to you. 

If he likes you but doesn’t know how to express it yet, there are two things he can do: either show his true self or try to hide him from your view.

This usually takes the form of acting differently around the person they like. 

In either case, the most obvious thing I’ve learned about male psychology is that they act weird whenever they like someone and instead of showing their feelings, they try to hide them.

And that’s what this guy is doing now — trying to hide his feelings for you.

2) He’s testing you to see if you’re interested

Usually, when they are interested in women, they use some techniques to attract them and make them interested in them.

As a matter of fact, this isn’t something I observed myself. Instead, it’s proved by psychological research about how men try to appear more attractive to women.

As I already mentioned, if a guy is acting differently around you, they might realize they’re interested in you.

And guess what?

In order to see whether you like them, they will use specific techniques to turn you into them.

And one such technique is acting differently to let you understand that something changed in their attitude towards you.

This means that they’re just testing you to see if you’re interested.

Just think about it.

What would you do if a guy changed his attitude toward you?

You’d definitely notice it, right?

And when that happens, you start wondering why he’s acting like this. For example, you might ask yourself questions like:

  • “What’s changed in him?”
  • “Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden?”
  • “Is there something wrong with me?”
  • “Is he trying to tell me something?”

So the first thing you should do is simply notice if this guy is acting differently around you.

If that’s the case, then it’s quite possible that his attitude toward you changed because of his feelings for you.

For instance, he might try to act like a jerk, which is one of the most popular ways men test women.

It’s called the “hot and cold” technique, which is a behavioral pattern that can be observed in many species of animals. It’s mostly used by males who want to attract females.

The idea here is simple — the guy will behave in an unpleasant manner towards you, and then he’ll act nice again in order to see your reaction. 

If you’re interested in him and you accept his apology, it means that you like him back, and he can start being nice to you again. 

But if you reject him, it means that he needs to find another girl who likes him more than you do because, obviously, she will appreciate his niceness more than you do!

So this guy is either testing your patience or your interest level in him.

Keep in mind that it’s also possible that the guy is just being playful with you.

3) He’s trying to hook up with you, but he’s failing miserably

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Okay, if he’s interested in you and if he’s testing to see if you’re interested in them while acting differently around you, then there’s something you can be sure about:

He’s trying to hook up with you.

But he’s failing miserably in doing so, right?

So what’s going on here?

Well, sometimes guys just don’t know how to approach women. They don’t know how to flirt with them, and they don’t know how to get their attention.

This means that a guy might be trying to make a move on you, but he’s failing miserably at it.

He might be trying to hold your hand or get you alone, but he’s doing it in a very awkward way.

Therefore, the only thing they can do is try to act differently around them and hope that it will work.

But what happens when it doesn’t?

Surprisingly, most of the time, they don’t even realize how hard they’re trying to attract you. And that’s why they’re acting differently around you — they just don’t know any other way of doing it.

So if you’re trying to figure out whether the guy likes you or not, then here’s the answer:

He does!

He likes you a lot!

But he doesn’t have the slightest idea how to approach women, and he’s afraid of making things awkward with you.

So he’s testing you to see if you’re interested in him too. He wants to make sure that if he does something, it won’t be offensive to you.

One more thing… If a guy is acting differently around you, then there’s only one thing left for him to do — ask you out on a date!

However, I bet that he won’t be able to get what he wants if the only thing you’re thinking about him right now is that he’s weird or acting different around you.

4) He’s just not that into you

Unfortunately, the reason why a guy is acting differently around you doesn’t necessarily mean that he likes you.

Instead, it’s most likely that he’s just not that into you.

The reason why this is possible is that there are many other things going on in his life that prevent him from being interested in you.

For example, he might have a lot of work to do or he might have just broken up with his ex-girlfriend and it might take him some time to get over her.

Or maybe he’s just not ready for a relationship yet.

Ah, the classic excuse.

The thing is, this excuse can truly apply to any situation.

So, if you notice that a guy is acting weird around you, there’s a big chance that he just isn’t that into you.

Now, if you want to take things further with this guy, you can try to do some things to make him like you more.

However, if you notice that he’s always pushing you away and trying to avoid you, then you should just let go. These are the signs that he just isn’t that into you and you should move on.

Nevertheless, even if you notice that he doesn’t like you and that’s why he’s acting differently around you, I want you to know something:

It’s in no way related to you, your personality, your appearance, or the way you act. And you really shouldn’t take it personally.

But then, you might naturally ask: why isn’t he interested in me?

Well, believe it or not, the answer to this question is contained in the relationship you have with yourself. 

I know this might sound weird, but I learned this simple yet powerful principle of building happy and fulfilling relationships from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.

In fact, I simply watched his mind-blowing free video about Love and Intimacy and realized that often we’re building expectations about other people. However, none of our expectations apply to reality.

The result?

We feel devastated.

But the key to developing a joyful relationship is focusing on the relationship you have with yourself. And believe me, this will indeed help you see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.

So, if you also want to get inspired and understand the key to maintaining healthy intimacy in your relationships, you should definitely watch Rudá’s amazing free masterclass.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) He’s trying to get over someone

Let’s admit it: one of the reasons why a guy might be acting differently around you is that he’s clearly trying to get over someone.

This might sound like a cliché, but it’s true.

In fact, I’ve been in that situation many times, and I know how hard it is to get over someone when you’re still in love with them.

Yes, often, this is the first thing that comes to mind when we try to analyze a guy’s behavior.

If a guy is trying to get over someone, he might avoid getting serious with another girl as soon as possible.

You might think that you’re being pulled into his rebound relationship without even realizing it, and you have every right to feel that way.

But don’t worry; there are some ways you can avoid getting into this situation.

First, if you know that he is trying to get over someone, try to keep your relationship casual. Stay away from heavy topics and steer the conversation towards lighter things, such as music and movies.

This way, you won’t scare him away.

Second, don’t push him to talk about this ex-girlfriend too much. You don’t want to make him feel cornered. He will talk about it only when he’s ready, not a moment earlier.

But how do you know if this is the reason why he’s acting weird around you?

Well, if he avoids talking about his previous relationships or tries to change the subject every time you bring up the topic of love, then there’s a big chance that he still has feelings for someone else.

And this means that he’s probably not ready for something new yet.

Again, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with him or with you. It just means that things are not meant to be right now.

Take some time off and try again when he feels ready for something new.

But you know what else?

On the other hand, he might be acting differently towards you whenever he’s in the process of getting over someone in order to use you as a rebound.

He might be trying to use you as a distraction, and he could even start saying things like “I don’t want a relationship right now” or “I’m not over her yet”.

If you hear these types of things from him, then it means that he’s trying to use you as a distraction from the pain of his previous relationship.

This is definitely NOT the kind of guy we want in our lives.

So, if this is the case and you feel that he’s just using you to get over someone else, then I strongly suggest that you run away from him as fast as possible.

You deserve more than this, and I know it!

6) He has a girlfriend or is married

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Now let me introduce another common reason why he might be acting weird around you.

Be careful because it might be worse than someone using you to get over someone else!

What do I mean?

Well, it could be that he has a girlfriend or is married. But he’s still trying to win you over and make you fall in love with him.

And if this is the case, then you might want to reconsider your relationship with him.

I know that it’s hard to hear and that it sounds harsh, but I’m telling you this for a reason.

Because if he is in a relationship, then there’s no future for you two. You have to start seeing him as your friend and nothing more than that.

I agree — this sounds a little crazy, but trust me, it happens more often than you’d think.

There are some men who are totally honest and open with their partners. However, there are also men who hide things from their partners.

In this case, you have to realize that even though he seems like a great guy and even though he shows interest in you, it doesn’t mean that he actually wants something serious with you.

He’s just trying to use you as a rebound because his girlfriend or wife is not satisfying him anymore or because they broke up, and now he needs some time alone before getting into another relationship again.

And if any of these things are happening to you, then I strongly suggest that you stay away from him because he’s probably not worth your time.

He might claim that he’s not ready for a relationship, but at the end of the day, he’s only using you to satisfy his needs.

And no matter what he says, if he has a girlfriend or is married, then there’s nothing that can change it.

Why am I so sure?

Because statistically, people who date married men often end up catching them in infidelity. This means that you might end up getting hurt in the end.

And that’s not something that you want, right?

Still, if you notice that you’re falling in love with this kind of man, I strongly recommend taking a look at the reasons why women date married men.

But remember: no matter how much time you spend with him or how much effort you put into this relationship, it won’t work out because it’s not supposed to be in the first place!

7) He’s trying to be different from the other guys who like you

Being in a relationship and still trying to attract you is one thing. But another reason why a guy might be acting different around you is that he’s trying to be different from other guys who like you.

For example, he might be trying to be more romantic or make you feel special. And this is a good thing, right?

Well, if it’s a guy that you’re interested in and he’s doing this for you, then I would say he’s showing his interest.

However, if he’s doing these things for other girls that he likes and who also like him back, then this should be a warning sign.

In this case, he’s not interested in you at all, but he knows that there are other guys who like you, and that makes him insecure. So what does he do?

He tries to act differently from the other guys.

The idea here is simple — a guy might try to act differently around you so that you’ll notice him more than the other guys.

He wants to make sure that you can tell the difference between him and everyone else who likes you. And in order to do that, he needs to stand out as much as possible.

But why would someone want to do this?

Well, most of the time they just want your attention, and they’re not sure how else they can get it, so they resort to acting differently around them. It works for some people, but it doesn’t work for others.

In either case, it means that he has low self-esteem and that there’s something wrong with him — probably something physical or emotional.

This doesn’t mean that all guys like this are bad people. It just means that some of them aren’t good for you!

And remember: Don’t let your emotions get in the way of your goals!

And with that in mind, you can look at his intentions from a different perspective and positively assess why he might want to stand out.

After all, he’s trying to attract you, so maybe you should accept his strange behavior and think about giving him a chance.

8) He has trust issues

Now let’s switch to more serious reasons and see what’s wrong with a guy who’s acting different around you.

Well, a guy who likes you might have trust issues or have a problem with being vulnerable.

People with trust issues often have a hard time getting into new relationships because they are constantly waiting for the other person to break their trust.

If you notice that a guy is acting differently around you, there is a big chance that he has trust issues. If this is the case, you don’t have to worry — you just need to give him time.

You can easily solve this issue by not being impatient and giving him reassurance that you’re not going to break his trust.

Be patient, be kind, and show him that you’re trustworthy. He’ll come around eventually. However, if you notice that he has trust issues but you want to take things to the next level, you might want to talk to him about it.

Be honest and straightforward, and let him know that you’d like to take the next step in your relationship.

The reason why I’m saying this is that it’s possible that he has low self-esteem — which we already discussed in the previous section — and this can easily lead to a lack of trust in other people.

Again, this doesn’t mean that he’s bad or even not good for you. It just means that there are things about him that you don’t like and that he doesn’t know how to work on them!

However, this can be a result of several things, from being in a relationship to having trust issues that go back to his childhood.

In any case, it means that he doesn’t trust you enough to do the things he says, and this can lead to problems down the road.

And one of the reasons he doesn’t trust you is that he’s too shy to tell you what’s going on.

I’m not saying that his lack of confidence is a bad thing — it just means that he needs some time and space to get used to the idea of having you in his life and trusting you in return.

So when it comes down to it, this is something that will probably cause problems at some point, but if you’re patient with him, eventually he’ll start trusting you more and more.

9) He’s nervous and doesn’t know how to handle it

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Another reason why guys often tend to act different or weird around girls is that they’re nervous — or, in other words, because they don’t know how to handle it.

And let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being nervous.

It happens to the best of them.

Most often, guys get nervous around girls they like.

Now, if you’re noticing that he’s acting weird around you, but you don’t want to assume that he’s just not that into you, there are some signs that he might be nervous.

You might notice that he’s not making eye contact with you as much, or he might be fidgeting a lot. These are signs that he’s nervous and doesn’t know how to handle it.

In this case, you should try to help him feel more comfortable around you. You can do this by making him laugh, showing him that you’re not scary, and helping him relax around you.

How so?

This is something that can be fixed easily, and you don’t even have to do anything.

You just have to listen to him and give him the time he needs.

If you notice that he doesn’t want to talk about something, ask him what’s wrong. If he doesn’t want to tell you, bring it up later on in the conversation — but only if he’s doing stuff that makes you uncomfortable around him or if he looks weird or seems uncomfortable himself.

If this is the case, then there’s a good chance that he has trust issues and needs time to get used to everything.

But what if you’re the one who’s making him feel nervous or uncomfortable?

Just think about it.

What kind of mood would he be in if he was around you all the time?

He’d probably be very comfortable around you, and that’s because he loves you and trusts you.

However, we’ve all had those moments when we’re with someone who makes us feel nervous or uncomfortable. And we’ve all tried to avoid that person as much as possible.

Now, you don’t want to get paranoid and assume that he’s doing this on purpose. There are many reasons why a person would make you feel uneasy, such as having trust issues, feeling jealous, or being really shy.

However, if you notice that you’re the one who makes him feel nervous but you want to take it to the next level, you can also talk to him about it.

10) You caught him at a bad time

And the final reason why a guy might be nervous is that he’s caught you at a bad time.

This happens to everyone, so you can relate to this.

The thing is that sometimes, a guy might act differently around you because he’s not in the right state of mind.

Maybe you sent him a text and he didn’t respond for a while.

Or maybe you left him a voice message and he didn’t pick up his phone for a few hours.

You might think that it’s weird that he hasn’t responded to your text or call but what if something happened?

He had an important meeting with his boss and couldn’t get back to you because of it. This is why he’s not responding back to your text or call.

That’s why you need to be understanding of his behavior. You don’t have to overthink his every move — just be patient and give him time.

He’ll get better soon and prove that he wants to take things to the next level.

Final thoughts

All in all, it’s hard to know what that special guy in your life is thinking.

Sometimes, even guys can be a little shy around girls they like. But if you notice him acting weird, it’s probably because he’s trying to figure out whether or not he has romantic feelings for you.

Hopefully, now you understand why guys are pretty confusing sometimes. Even the best of them have really bad communication skills from time to time.

So, instead of panicking and overanalyzing every little thing he says or does, try focusing on staying calm and keeping your cool.

And remember: you don’t want him getting even more nervous than he already is!

Picture of Nato Lagidze

Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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