10 possible reasons she is hiding her feelings from you (and how to get her to open up)

You are thinking of ways to open her up, but she has been somewhat closed lately. 

And you are thinking that maybe there is a good reason for that that you just don’t know about yet. 

Women are often more resilient and their walls will block your attempts at intimacy, until the time is right for them to open up again.

In this article I’ll be sharing 10 possible reasons she might be hiding her emotions from you (and how to get her to open up) so that you can successfully win her heart. 

1) She doesn’t feel loved by you

It could be that she feels that you are not showing her enough affection or demonstrating your love like she wants you to. Or perhaps it’s because you haven’t said “I love you” in a few days.

Make it a priority to ensure that she knows how much you love and appreciate her and that she feels safe in sharing her emotions with you. 

She’s keeping her true feelings hidden because she doesn’t feel enough love from you. Furthermore, she worries that if she reveals herself too soon, you might reject her.

If you are unable to show her affection, then have an open heart conversation with her about what is going on for you and why it is difficult for you to show affection at this time.

2) She is afraid you might reject her

As I mentioned above, sometimes a woman might not want to tell you how she really feels for fear of losing you. 

She might be afraid that if she opens up her heart to you, then you will reject her and she will get hurt. 

Women are often ashamed to admit that they feel something special for you and might not want to tell you because they fear it will ruin their relationship. 

I used to be in this situation before, where I thought he would reject me if I was honest about my feelings. 

So as soon as I knew that he was one hundred percent into me, I was like screaming into the sky “I love you! I love you!” 

You must let her know how much you love her and how she means the world to you. 

Even if she says that she doesn’t feel the same way, tell her that what she’s feeling is real and tell her again and again. 

If you make her feel safe and supported, then she will open up about how she feels.

3) Maybe something is wrong in her life right now

In rare instances, there is probably a history of abuse or physical harm in her life that is causing her to sit on her emotions. 

If you are unable to provide the emotional safety she needs and she feels safe sharing with you, she may feel afraid to open up with you. 

You may have to bridge this gap and seek professional help for both of you. 

If the woman you care about is hiding her feelings from you, then you should give her all the time she needs to heal.

And please remember: when a woman is hiding her feelings, then it is best to take it slow and easy with her.

It may take time for her to feel comfortable opening up with you again, so instead of placing pressure on her to open up right away, work on making your relationship stronger so that she won’t feel the need to hide anymore. 

4) She might be dealing with a loss or grief

Sometimes women grieve for a loved one, which can cause them not to want to share anything that is going on in their lives. 

She may be having a hard time dealing with the pain and keeping her emotions inside. 

It may be that she needs some time out of the relationship to heal properly.

And it’s important to acknowledge that she has been hurt and that her emotions are being suppressed because of this hurt. 

You can also help her heal and find closure by helping her process this loss in a productive manner.

However, be careful because sometimes the things that make her feel negative might come from you.

5) You have done something that hurt her feelings

Men often make some major mistakes in how they express their emotions to women

It could be that you have been insensitive or even offensive when you open up to her. 

She might not be honest about why she is withholding her feelings from you, but it is important to show respect and affection in a safe manner where you both feel safe to be honest with each other. 

Here are some ways to let her know that this was not your intent:

“I’m sorry if I have hurt your feelings.” “I would never want you to be angry at me for feeling this way about something.” “I do love and appreciate how much I can count on you. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.”

6) She is afraid that she might not be good enough for you

Women often have a tough time letting their guard down when they are attracted to someone

They are so used to pretending, being cautious, being controlled and protecting themselves from getting hurt that they fear opening up because they don’t think they would be good enough for the guy they like. 

I am sure you have seen this with your friends and maybe more than one time yourself. 

You can help her heal from this fear by showing her that she is good enough for you by telling her things like: “You’re the most special thing that ever happened in my life”, “You are so great”,  “I am so lucky to be with someone as beautiful and kind as you”. 

7) She doesn’t want to ruin the friendship

In some cases, a woman may be hiding her feelings because she doesn’t want to lose the good friendship you two share. 

When it comes down to it, sometimes women just want to be friends and not necessarily more than that. 

It could be that she doesn’t think you would make a very good boyfriend or that she doesn’t want to jeopardize your long-term friendship by opening up about her feelings.

You can usually tell when a woman is hiding her emotions from you because she will start saying she has no time for you or is busy. 

Try to find ways to spend more time with her and make sure she knows how much you care about her. 

However, besides the reasons I listed above, we must take into consideration the possibilities generated by a third party: she might be interested in someone else.

8) She might be interested in someone else

Remember that people can have a lot of feelings for other people… but sometimes they just don’t want to act on them. 

It happens more often than you think, whether it’s because she is afraid of not being good enough or because she is deeply invested in another relationship. 

When this happens, it is important to respect her decision and do not pressure her into a relationship that causes her to feel confused, guilty or uncomfortable about feeling sexually attracted to someone else

I understand that if this is possible to be one of the reasons, you are likely to feel deeply hurt.

But please try to stay calm, because cases like this happen often and can all be resolved if the insider can calmly acknowledge the situation and take action wisely.

In this case, if you don’t know how to react, try talking to your partner therapist, a friend, or someone that is close to you and you both trust to find a solution for your relationship. 

9) She doesn’t know how to communicate what she’s feeling

Some women just don’t know how to say how they feel. 

They might be afraid to hurt your feelings or to be rejected, so they hide their emotions.

You can help them out of this issue by being patient and understanding but also by being clear about what you want and being honest about who you are.

Try to find ways to learn more about her so that she can feel secure expressing herself with you. 

Or ask her if there is anything she is worried about or afraid of saying, that would make opening up more comfortable for her.

10) She is pressured by her family or friends

Sometimes, women are pressured by their family or friends to be in a relationship. 

Especially in Asian American culture, you might pretend to have feelings for someone because of social pressure and the fear of disappointing your family. 

Your partner may not be the only one hiding her emotions from you. She may feel like she is being forced into being in a relationship with you and she might need some time to think it over before making any big decisions. 

By respecting her boundaries and showing that you can offer her more than that kind of relationship, you may help her realize that your two would be better off as friends instead of a couple.

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How to get her open up 

I know this might seem like a difficult task for some men, but it is possible with a little bit of patience, tactfulness and self-awareness. 

Here I will summarize some tips on how to work through it:

1) Be more understanding and sensitive to her feelings 

Actively listen and show that you care about how she feels. 

Be patient with her and don’t expect her to give into your desires right away. 

When you show empathy toward her, she will be more likely to open up about what she is feeling. 

For example, if she said that something you said upset her, then tell her, “I’m sorry I overstepped my boundaries. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

Or if she has a problem with her mother, then start by being understanding and supportive like, “I can see why you would be upset with your mom.” – Remember, don’t try to give a solution before you listen to the full story. 

2) Ask her what she is afraid of

Sometimes women are afraid of feeling too much or opening up too much because they are afraid of getting hurt. 

If you remind your partner that you don’t want to lose what you have now, then she might open up more. 

For example, say, “You know I love being with you and I don’t want to ruin that by rushing into anything.” Or “No one has ever been as good to me as you are.”

Most of the time, the problem will be that she is afraid of being rejected or feeling pressured. 

She will feel safe if you reassure her, “I’m not going to pressure you into telling me how you feel – I just want to make sure that everything is okay.” 

I recommend saying this kind of thing when she is not in an emotional state because it can help her remember later when she is at a better place and more calm.

3) Be more open and honest with her

If she is also afraid of you rejecting her, then try to be more openly expressive with her and let it out what you think. 

That way, she will feel free to express herself around you as well because she knows that you are not going to punish her for saying how she feels. 

You can tell her how much you care about her and reassure her that it is okay for both of you to be vulnerable in front of each other. 

4) Give her space to think about things

If the woman you are interested in is thinking that it is too soon for her to tell you how she feels, then give her time and space. 

It is okay for both of you to have time to get comfortable with each other before taking things further. 

You can help her get over this by showing her that it’s okay to take time but with a healthy reminder like, “I can see how it worries you that it might be too soon for us to take things further. I just want to let you know that I would never put my feelings before what we have now. I will give you space to think about this but I want to make sure that we are on the same page about how that doesn’t mean I will ignore you.”

5) Support her and help her express herself

Just like any person, she may need support to be vulnerable and share her feelings. 

Show her that you value her and that you will support her decisions. 

This can get tricky because she may have to have time alone with you before actually letting down your guard around each other, so let her know how nervous you are about this first step. 

Try to work with her on the relationship goals that she has set up for herself and show her that you are willing to compromise to be a part of them. 

For example, if she wants to keep her romantic feelings from you so that she can focus on school, then it is okay for you to tell her how much you like spending time with her as well as what kind of relationship you could have. 

See if you can help each other so that neither of your needs are compromised. 

Otherwise, she might end up feeling like there’s no space between the two of you and it will be hard for her to find any room for herself in the relationship.

6) Be patient with her

If she is hesitant to open up, wait patiently for her to feel more confident and secure around you. 

A woman may have to sort out these feelings in her mind before her heart will really open up. 

You can help by reminding her that this process might take time and check in with her at least once or twice a week to see how she is doing.


You should keep in contact to remind her how you feel about her and that you are more than willing to wait as long as it takes for her to realize that opening up will not only make you happy but also help both of you. 

This is what I call “twinning” which means that she can build a true relationship with someone she feels close to and enjoy their company without the sexual element being the priority.

I hope these tips are useful in helping you be more patient and confident when you try to win her heart

Good luck!

Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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