10 not-so-romantic reasons a married man likes you (and what to do next!)

When you meet someone that is married, it’s normal to be suspicious of their intentions.

You’re probably asking yourself, ”Why does a married man like me?”

And if you’re uncomfortable knowing that he has a wife and children, I don’t blame you.

So why do men who are married go after other women?

Let’s look at the 10 not-so-romantic reasons why a married man likes you as well as some tips on what you should do next.

1) He is just looking to have fun

If you are aware that the guy you are dating is married, then you should know he is not looking for a serious relationship.

The truth is that married men are not after a long-term commitment, they already have that with their wives. They are just looking to have fun, maybe even get a little crazy with you.

If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you’ll want to stay away from married men, or else you’ll get your heart broken.

And honey, if he says that he’s going to leave his wife for you, he’s only saying it because it’s what you want to hear. The chances of him actually leaving his wife are one in a million so don’t get your hopes up.

But if you are just looking to have fun, aren’t looking for anything serious, and don’t mind being “the other woman*, then go ahead and date him.

2) You make him feel good about himself

It’s all about his ego.

You see, a married man probably doesn’t like you for who you are, but for how you make him feel about himself.

Maybe he’s been married for a while and doesn’t feel appreciated by his wife.

But he feels that you really see him as a person and that makes him feel great.

Maybe you laugh at his jokes or show him respect. Maybe you’re interested in his hobbies and what he has to say.

Whatever it is, there’s something about you that makes him feel good about himself.

The not-so-romantic truth is that married men like to feel good about themselves because they don’t get enough attention and validation from their wives.

They crave attention, love, and affection.

3) He’s bored

Another reason a married man likes you is that he’s bored with his life and probably his marriage too.

He’s looking for some excitement and new experiences – and he thinks he can get them from you.

He’ll find the idea of sneaking around behind his wife’s back exciting. He’ll want the novelty of having sex with another woman.

He’ll want to go wild and crazy and party with you.

Boredom is a trait that many married men have in common.

It doesn’t mean that they don’t love their wives or that they want to leave them. It’s often because they are stuck in a rut, doing the same things over and over again.

All in all, he’s interested in you because you’re new – like a kid with a shiny, new toy.

But what happens when the kid is done playing with his new toy? He gets tired of it and puts it aside.

If you’re in a relationship with a married man and you find yourself falling in love, it probably feels like you have no say in the matter.

But you’re wrong, you always have a say.

I recommend getting in touch with a professional relationship coach to help you take control of the situation and save yourself from the heartache that’s coming your way.

When my relationship was in serious trouble, I found out about Relationship Hero, a site with dozens of highly trained relationship coaches.

They helped me understand the root of my problem and gave me the solution I was looking for. If it wasn’t for them, I would never have married my husband – I would have broken up with him ages ago.

The best part is that most of the relationship coaches have a degree in psychology, which means that they really understand the human psyche and know what they’re doing.

So if you want help navigating your relationship with a married man and finding a way out, get in touch with them asap.

Click here to get started.

4) You make him feel young again

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As he ages and becomes more settled, a married man might feel like he is losing his youth and energy.

He might get tired of being a responsible adult and start to miss the carefree young man he once was.

So if you are dating or getting attention from a married man who is a few years older than you, he may like you for your youth.

He wants to feel like that carefree young man again and because of your youthful energy, he’s attracted to you.

Being with you is a form of escape from reality.

5) He’s not getting the attention he needs from his wife

The ugly truth is that a married man who is not getting the attention he needs from his wife will seek it from other women.

  • He may be craving physical attention.
  • He may want someone to talk to and confide in.
  • Or maybe he just wants to come first. Maybe his wife is busy with the kids, her job, and the household chores that she has to deal with daily that she hardly has time for him.

It is not uncommon for married men to feel like their wives are not paying enough attention to them.

So if he’s feeling neglected, he’ll use you to make himself feel good. Again, it’s all about his needs.

The bottom line is that he doesn’t really care about what you need or what his wife needs – he’s only thinking about himself.

6) He likes living a double life

Here’s another reason a married man might like you: he likes living a double life and the thrill and excitement that comes with having a secret lover.

He’ll take you to hotels and will ask you to join him on business trips. He’ll look for any excuse to see you, but always in some seedy bar where nobody will be able to recognize you.

He’ll never take you out on a date to a nice restaurant or to see a play. If he ran into someone new, that would be the end of his double life.

So, he’ll give you gifts and spend lots of money on you to keep you happy.

But don’t kid yourself, once he’s gotten what he needs from you or you start to ask for too much, he’ll have no trouble saying goodbye.

7) He’s going through a mid-life crisis

Some men get a new haircut, some buy a sports car, and others cheat on their wives with younger women. It’s all part of how men deal with a mid-life crisis.

If you’re dating an older married man, it’s quite possible that you’re just there to help him get through the realization that he’s getting older and not going to live forever.

A man who is going through a mid-life crisis will want to date someone who can make him feel young again. He doesn’t want to face the ugly truth: his mortality.

8) You bring out a side of him that his wife doesn’t know exists

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Another reason a married man might like you is that you bring out a side of him that his wife doesn’t know exists.

Maybe he thinks he can confide in you about certain things and not be judged.

Maybe he feels like he can live out his fantasies with you – do things his wife would never dream of doing.

He feels free – he can be himself around you and that you accept him for who he is.

But sadly, once he gets it out of his system, he’ll have no further use for you and will go back to his wife.

9) His needs aren’t being met

If a man has been married for a while, he may have stopped having sex with his wife.

So why isn’t he having sex with her?

Maybe she’s too busy with the kids. Maybe he doesn’t find his wife attractive anymore. Maybe she’s just not interested in sex anymore. Maybe it’s been so long that they’ve drifted apart.

But a man has needs. That’s where you come in.

You’re an attractive young woman, you’re the solution to his problem.

He’ll be with you for while it’s fun and casual. But once he gets bored or you want to get serious, he’ll tell you that he loves his wife and can’t keep doing this to her. Trust me, I’ve been there.

10) He’s under a lot of pressure at work

A man may be under a lot of pressure at work.

His boss may be pushing him to produce more, and he may feel that he doesn’t have the resources to succeed.

When a man feels threatened, it can make him hostile and defensive. He may lash out at his wife because he’s angry.

If he feels that you are in his corner and on his side, he may choose to be with you instead of his wife. He may feel that you understand him, accept him, and can help him.

He may feel that you’re more interested in him than his wife is.

But eventually, when things die down at work, he’ll come to regret his actions and he’ll break things off with you.

How to handle a married man who likes you

You know the saying, once a cheater, always a cheater?

Well, it is true.

Even if you are dating an amazing guy who treats you well and has great intentions, there is always a risk that he will cheat on you.

There are plenty of men who have marriage issues and turn to other women for solace.

So if you find yourself in this kind of situation, here is how to handle a married man who likes you so that things go smoothly and your feelings aren’t hurt by him:

1) Don’t do it

Well, my first bit of advice is not to go out with a married man.

Say no to his advances – even if you like him.

Tell him that you’re flattered but that you’re not that kind of woman.

Tell him that you’re happy being friends and nothing more.

I know that he’s probably so sweet and charming and that he makes you feel special. But he’s somebody else’s man, no good can come out of it.

2) Resist the urge to respond

If you gave a married man your number and now he keeps calling and texting you, you should resist the urge to respond.

Don’t engage in any type of communication with him.

I know you’re flattered that he likes you and curious to hear what he has to say, but if you interact with him, he’ll think that you’re interested in him.

This will only encourage him to keep on pursuing you.

If you really need to send him a message so as not to be rude, tell him that you’re flattered but not interested.

Or better yet, tell him you’re dating someone and that he doesn’t appreciate you texting other guys.

Hey, whatever gets him to back off.

3) Talk about his wife

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If you want a married man to stop flirting with you, you should mention his wife.

He’ll probably try to avoid discussing his wife, but you should still bring her up.

Ask him how long he’s been married. Ask him what his wife does for a living. Ask him if he has kids.

Talking about his wife and kids will make him feel guilty and he may change his mind and stop flirting with you.

I’m not saying it’s going to work 100%, some guys are jerks, but it’s worth trying.

4) Wait until your feelings for him pass

If you have feelings for a married man, instead of acting on them, wait for them to pass.

Easier said than done, I know.

But you need to understand that if he’s already married, he’s probably only interested in you for a temporary fling.

He’s not interested in a serious relationship with you, and he’s only going to break your heart and break off the relationship when he’s bored of it.

So try and wait for your feelings to pass. Focus on somebody else. Ask your friends to set you up with someone.

But, why do you keep looking for love in the wrong places?

You might find the answer in this mind-blowing free video by the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.

According to him, we have the wrong idea about what love is and we often fall into the trap of self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it (just like you are by falling for a married man)!

So what can you do to stop the cycle of bad relationships?

Well, according to Ruda, the answer lies in the relationship you have with yourself.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) Be honest with yourself and prepared to face the consequences

If you’ve decided not to listen to my advice about not dating a married man and you’re still interested in pursuing a relationship with him, you need to be honest with yourself about the situation:

  • You need to know that this relationship can’t get serious.
  • You need to know that he probably won’t leave his wife for you.
  • You need to be prepared for heartbreak.
  • And finally, you need to be ok with being “the other woman” and breaking up a family if his wife finds out.

All in all, think about all the implications and risks of seeing a married man before you do anything.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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