It’s not easy to find a supportive partner these days…
With the popularity of dating apps and how they make people less likely to commit to a relationship, will we ever know who we can trust?
Being in a relationship requires that both partners support each other through the good and bad times – and maybe you’re someone who wants that in your life!
Here are 9 qualities that show you’re an incredibly supportive partner anyone would feel lucky to be with.
Let’s get into it!
1) You listen attentively when your partner is speaking
First up, a quality that makes for an incredibly supportive partner is that they’re attentive!
I mean, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who’s always on their phone when you’re excitedly talking about one of your interests?
This wouldn’t be something an incredibly supportive partner does. After all, they want you to know that they’re interested in all the aspects of your life!
Even the stuff you think is boring…
Listening attentively when your partner is speaking and asking them follow-up questions is a quality possessed by someone who’s incredibly supportive.
If you’re single, this will make you stand out in the dating landscape today. And if you aren’t, well, that guy or gal certainly lucked out!
2) You celebrate their wins (and grieve their losses)
Apart from being a good listener, you’re also the first to jump up and down when your partner achieves a milestone in their life!
That’s because their wins are your wins as well. Not only are you proud of your partner, but you also feel the same sense of accomplishment that they feel…
Being an incredibly supportive partner, you want to be by the other person’s side from the beginning. Whether they’re just starting out on an ambition or are at the top of their game…
Here’s the reason: you have a strong sense of empathy that allows you to see things from other people’s perspective; that includes their pain as well…
With your partner, it’s really not just about the good times. You’re willing to be there for them even when they’re struggling and when life just doesn’t seem so sunny.
Here’s an incredible quote I once read by the poet Ilya Kaminsky about such relationships:
“You can f*ck anyone—but with whom can you sit in water?”
3) You’re willing to own up to your mistakes
Here’s another quality of an incredibly supportive partner: they’re willing to own up to their mistakes!
In a relationship, you’re bound to make mistakes – we’re all human, after all! It’s normal to screw up when we least expect it.
But of course, for a relationship to be healthy, it’s always best to put our ego aside and remind our partners that we didn’t mean it.
That we still love them!
Maybe we were supposed to cheer them on at a recital they were playing but were held up at work and missed it. I mean, that must hurt for both parties…
And yet, it isn’t easy for people to apologize in these situations. They would much rather prefer to say “Not my fault, I was held up at work!”
If you’re an incredibly supportive partner, you don’t wait until the last minute for the other person to realize you forgot about them.
Instead, you’d let them know in advance that you won’t be able to join them…
Here’s what you might do instead: enlist the help of a friend to videotape the recital, so you and your partner can watch it together!
4) You’re confident even if your partner disagrees with you
What’s another quality of an incredibly supportive partner? They’re confident even in the face of disagreement.
And if you relate to this point, know that you are, indeed, someone who’s able to have meaningful relationships with others!
What does it mean to be “confident”, though?
Don’t take it the wrong way: it’s not about having lots of money, good looks, or knowing how to flirt!
Instead, it’s all about knowing who you are deep down inside and asserting your identity, while still allowing yourself the space to learn new things.
Let me explain why such a quality is important in relationships. And why it’s the key to communicating well with your partner…
Even when your partner disagrees with you on something, you see it as an opportunity to support them by trying to understand their perspective. Not to start a fight!
This brings me to my next point…
5) You accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses
…you wholeheartedly accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses! That’s what makes you an incredibly supportive partner.
Being in a relationship means working with your partner’s strengths to make things happen. Maybe it’s something like putting the new house together and needing to split tasks!
For example, you’re better at picking furniture while your partner enjoys looking for beautiful wallpaper.
This is what people mean when they say being in a relationship is a “team effort”!
Also, if you’re an incredibly supportive partner, you’ll see that you and your partner have weaknesses…
But there’s no judgment on your side!
Instead, you love them even more despite their weaknesses because you realize it just makes them human. And you try to help out whenever you can!
6) You’re willing to make sacrifices for your partner
Speaking of helping out whenever you can brings me to my next point…
If you’re an incredibly supportive partner, you’re someone who’s willing to make sacrifices for the other person – no matter what it takes!
Here’s an example. You’re used to sacrificing more time with friends to take your partner out on dates, but what about giving up on something you really want to do?
For example, you want to watch a horror movie that day but your partner is terrified…
Being an incredibly supportive partner means you’ll choose something less scary to watch – and also find ways to still make the date enjoyable!
Even if you had to sacrifice something in that moment.
7) You don’t exhibit codependent behaviour
Another quality of an incredibly supportive partner is that they don’t exhibit codependent behaviour!
Let me explain…
Codependent behaviour is when one person feels responsible for the feelings of the other person – ignoring their own in the process.
In the past, I was in a codependent relationship with someone who was prone to intense and sudden emotional outbursts.
It’s hard to explain, but I was struggling so much. I thought everything that went wrong in the relationship was my fault – since my partner was going through so much and all I did was add to their problems.
Then I found the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê and his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy, which taught me what the signs of a healthy relationship are.
That’s when my life changed…
As Rudá explains in this powerful video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!
In my relationship, I looked to my partner for validation: if they weren’t at their best emotionally, there must’ve been something wrong with me.
If you’re an incredibly supportive partner, you don’t let the other person be the caretaker of your emotions. And you certainly don’t look to them for validation!
8) You always show your partner that you appreciate them
As we’ve discussed, being an incredibly supportive partner means you make it possible for the other person to rely on you…
That said, you also show your partner that you appreciate them! And that’s what makes you a wonderful person to be with.
Depending on what your love language is, you always go out of your way to make the other person smile. It could be anything from whipping up their favourite meal or writing a card…
Whatever it is, you’re someone who knows how to keep the spark alive in your relationship!
9) You don’t project your expectations onto your partner
Last but not least, a quality possessed by an incredibly supportive partner is that you don’t come in with expectations.
Of course, I don’t mean you’d just let anything slide…
I’m talking about projecting your expectations of the perfect relationship onto your partner; that’s a no go if you want a healthy relationship!
Instead of idealizing your partner, you’re someone who sees them for who they are – and you even appreciate their weaknesses, like I mentioned.
At the end of the day, an incredibly supportive partner is looking to build a real relationship. And I’m sure that sounds just like you!
Now that we’ve covered some traits that make for an incredibly supportive partner, do you think you’re ready to take on your next challenge in your love life?
Ultimately, you understand that relationships are not perfect, but nothing’s better than time spent together…
So get out there and make someone happy, if you aren’t already!