9 qualities of an emotionally mature man, according to psychology

Most of us want to be thought of as emotionally mature, and we also like to find emotional maturity in our partners.

The problem is that saying we’re on the hunt for emotional maturity is one thing, but actually spotting it is another thing entirely.

And so with that in mind, in today’s article, we’re going to take a closer look at the qualities you should look out for if you’re not sure whether a man is emotionally mature. Let’s get started.

1) They’re self-aware

People who are self-aware have a keen understanding of who they are and how they’re perceived by other people.

For example, those SoundCloud rappers who think they’re gangsters despite having private educations and no talent? They’re not self-aware, and you can tell by looking at their face tattoos.

They’re also not emotionally mature.

Self-awareness is required for emotional maturity because without it, there’s no way to hold yourself accountable and to make a concentrated effort to grow as a person. It’s as simple (and as complicated) as that.

2) They regulate their emotions

Emotionally mature men are able to regulate their emotions in such a way that they don’t fly into rages or have temper tantrums.

Children struggle with emotional regulation, and they turn to their parents for their understanding of how emotions work. You can tell a lot about how a man was raised by looking at how closely they can regulate their emotions.

For a man to be emotionally mature, they need to be able to regulate their emotions like an adult. This means being able to cope with negative emotions like anger and disappointment, as well as the positive ones.

If a man can’t regulate their emotions, you risk becoming a victim.

3) They display empathy towards others

Empathy is a vital skill for everyone, because it’s what enables us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes.

Feeling empathy is one thing, but being able to actually display it is something else entirely. When someone displays empathy, they act with kindness and understanding and show that they think the person they’re talking to matters.

Men who display empathy will hold doors open, give up their seats on public transport to elderly people and refrain from making offensive and/or off-color jokes.

And let’s face it. If they don’t display empathy towards other people, what makes you think they’ll treat you any differently?

4) They’re open-minded

Open-minded men are guaranteed to be more emotionally mature because they’re open-minded enough to open up to that maturity.

On top of that, open-mindedness mans that they’ll welcome people from other cultures, and indeed they’ll often embrace it. That’s good news if the emotionally mature man in question is from a different culture to the one that you belong to.

If your man is open-minded, that also means that they’re less likely to argue with you, or at the very least, they’ll be more likely to see your point of view.

All of this comes together beautifully to make an emotionally mature man that you can trust and who will consider other people’s points of view without falling for the latest conspiracy theory.

5) They take responsibility for their actions

It takes a certain amount of maturity to take responsibility for your actions, although I’d also argue that it’s the bare minimum for anyone who’s hoping to date other people.

Still, if your man takes responsibility for his actions then it’s a sure sign that he’s as mature as they come. You can also give them bonus points if on top of taking responsibility for their actions, they also talk about how they plan to make amends for any mistakes they make.

Too often, emotionally immature men will take responsibility for any actions that cast them in a good light but then they’ll be quick to make excuses for anything negative.

Luckily, it’s easy to keep your eyes peeled for this one. Just look out for their words and see whether their actions back them up.

6) They’re good communicators

signs someone is manipulating you according to psychology 9 qualities of an emotionally mature man, according to psychology

Emotionally mature people are good communicators by default because they understand the value of communication.

By focusing on their communication skills, they’re able to stop problems from becoming bigger than they might otherwise have been, and often to head them off at the pass completely.

This means that emotionally mature men with solid communication skills are more likely to make stable partners who communicate their needs with you and who are quick to make sure that you’re not arguing at cross purposes.

The good news here is that as well as signaling that a man is emotionally mature, good communication is also a prerequisite for any healthy long-term relationship.

7) They’re patient

They say that patience is a virtue. And that’s true.

But patience is also an important part of emotional maturity, and it’s totally understandable that it’s something we’d look for in a potential partner. After all, if we’re looking for someone to share our life with, there’s always going to be a need for them to be patient with us.

The good thing about patience is that it’s easy to look out for and easy to spot. You just have to wait until you’re standing in a queue with them and then to see how they react.

If they get angry or unpleasant to be around, it’s a sure sign that they’re not quite as emotionally mature as you’d like them to be.

8) They’re authentic

Authenticity can be difficult to define, but we know it when we see it.

At its simplest, we can define authentic people as those who are true to themselves in any given situation, and who act in a manner that’s always consistent.

In other words, if a man tells you that he’s vegan but he also loves hunting, he’s not being authentic. And if he tells you that he loves you but then treats you like dirt in front of his friends, that should also raise a red flag or two.

And authenticity isn’t just important to look for in potential partners. You should look for it in your friends, too.

9) They’re tolerant towards others

Emotionally mature men are tolerant towards other people because they know that while they won’t get along with everyone, that doesn’t mean that they should act with intolerance and hatred.

In fact, many of the factors that we’re covering today feed into this tolerance, with the result that if your man isn’t tolerant towards other people, there’s a good chance that their empathy and open-mindedness is just an act.

The other thing to bear in mind is that there will be plenty of times throughout your life when it’s important to display tolerance and understanding. This will be important to you, but it will also be important for your partner.

If your man isn’t tolerant, you shouldn’t tolerate him. It’s as simple as that.


Now that you know just nine of the qualities you should look out for if you’re on the hunt for an emotionally mature man, you’re in a much better place to spot them.

And of course, if you identify as male yourself and you’re trying to work on your emotional maturity, now you have a list of places to focus your attention.

Let’s also remember that every single one of us is a work in progress. In other words, there’s always space for men to work on their emotional maturity.

They just have to make sure it’s a priority.

Dane Cobain

Dane Cobain

Dane Cobain is a published author, freelance writer and (occasional) poet and musician with a passion for language and learning. When he’s not working on his next release, he can be found reading and reviewing books while trying not to be distracted by Wikipedia.

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