Imagine this:
A person walks into a room and it brightens up. When they speak – people listen, laugh, and look at them with pure admiration and joy.
In other words, this person is charismatic!
And you want to be just like them.
You want people to look your way in admiration. To listen when you speak. And to find your company a joy to be within – something they can’t wait to get more of!
Well, there’s a science to being charismatic and it involves a few very easy tricks.
When done right, these things can make people think you’re more confident, courageous, and captivating than you feel.
Want to give them a go and impress the people you meet? Check out these 9 psychological tricks that can instantly boost your charisma!
1) Hold people’s eye contact
First things first, if you want to be more charismatic, you need to get people’s attention.
And the best way to do that is to maintain good eye contact.
People won’t notice you unless you look at them or make eye contact.
A study actually once found that we have a bit of a sixth sense when someone is staring at us – and we’re more likely to look their way when they’re looking at us!
So, when someone is speaking, be the person who holds their eye. Don’t break eye contact unless you really have to (or it becomes a bit creepy!).
Because chances are, they’ll notice you and look at you in a group over anyone else when you hold their gaze.
2) Show the expression on your face
Another thing to do to appear more charismatic is to show the expression on your face – particularly if you’re maintaining eye contact when someone’s talking.
Keeping a straight face won’t draw people into you. It can also make them think you’re a little rude or uninterested in what they’re saying.
But showing a little expression here and there is positive in more ways than one!
For one, it’ll make it seem like you’re listening – which is a great way to make people feel good about themselves and increase your likability when meeting someone new.
And secondly, it’ll make you seem more relatable, interesting, and (of course) full of charisma!
So be a little bit more animated and “wear your heart on your face”. If someone’s telling a story, move through the emotions with them as they’re telling it.
When they say something surprising, offer a gentle look of shock. When they get to the resolution, show the relief on your face. And when they throw in a joke or smile, laugh and smile with them!
3) Laugh often and genuinely
Being full of charisma (and making other people believe you have it) is all about being positive and happy.
As many studies have found, laughing releases endorphins and makes us feel good about ourselves.
Which essentially means: when you laugh, you feel good. So when you make others laugh, it makes sense that you make them feel good, too!
Try cracking an (appropriate) joke every now and then. And make room for more genuine laughter in your interactions with other people.
Because chances are, when you laugh, they’ll laugh, too. And they’ll find it all around more positive and enjoyable to be in your company!
4) Smile with your eyes
If you want people to find you interesting and joyous, make sure that smile reaches your eyes!
Experts say a smile that makes your eyes crinkle is seen as the most authentic expression of happiness.
So don’t just show your pearly whites when smiling at people – grin at them, beam with joy, and let the smile brighten up your entire face, too!
5) Uncross your arms
Picture that charismatic person in your mind again. Think about the way they’re standing and what they’re doing with their hands.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll imagine them looking relaxed and loose, with expressive hands or open arms.
You probably aren’t picturing them standing there with their arms crossed – all stiff and rigid in the way they hold themselves.
That’s because research finds that people with stiff body postures and crossed arms look closed off. They also look nervous.
So if you want to look more easy-going and alluring, uncross those arms, keep your palms up, and try to look as relaxed as possible in the company of others.
6) Stop fiddling and fidgeting
Just like you don’t want to have your arms crossed when in conversation or joining a party, you also don’t want to be too fidgety and fiddly with your hands.
Studies found that swathes of people actually find those who fidget very annoying. They’re also more likely to perceive them as anxious, nervous, or stressed.
All of these aren’t things you want to be associated with if you’re trying to be more charismatic!
So do your best to keep your arms and hands relaxed when at a party or in conversation with someone new.
It could be the difference between someone sticking around and talking to you or not. And, of course, whether they find you charismatic!
7) Open up about yourself
When you think of someone who oozes charisma, what do you imagine them doing? I bet you imagine them talking, laughing, and working a room with their stories!
That’s because people with charisma don’t sit quietly in the background. They make their presence a little bit known.
Being good at conversation is a skill that most people have to work hard at to get right. But one of the best ways to make conversation is to be more open.
So tell more stories, be more emotional (without complaining), and don’t always wait for people to ask you something before talking – if you want to be more charismatic.
Just make sure you strike a good balance between you talking and them talking.
Experts say that people feel good about a conversation when they feel like an equal contributor. I.e., they can get a word in edgeways around the things you say!
8) Believe in yourself
Imagine meeting someone who inspires you. What would make you think they’re so inspiring?
For me, it’s when they have a positive mindset. When challenges crop up, they have a strong belief that everything will work out just fine in the end.
Quite often, these people aren’t just inspiring and nice to be around. They’re often seen as charismatic, too!
If you want to give off the same allure, do your best to believe in yourself when in the company of others. Use positive language and limit the amount of complaining you do.
Even if you don’t feel that confident in yourself, fake it til you make it! (within reason, of course).
Be subtle about your positivity and belief in yourself. Don’t gloat or go overboard with it all – coming on so strong that it’s almost unbelievable.
Just try to find ways to be more positive in the way you talk about things, how you approach new ideas, and how you respond to the things others say.
9) Leave people wanting more
Ever heard the saying, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
Well, if you want to be seen as a more charismatic person, sometimes it’s best to leave people wanting a little bit more.
No one likes a person who outstays their welcome. There’s nothing worse than having someone visit your house and never leave!
Of course, don’t rush off too quickly and miss out on things you want to do.
Like if you’re on a date and it’s going really well, don’t leave after an hour just because. Or if you’re out for dinner with a group, don’t skip the after-party drinks for the sake of it.
But be a little more selective about how you leave things with people.
Don’t always be the last person to leave the party. And when you approach a group, be positive and upbeat. Then, before the conversation starts to die – make an excuse to leave. Go grab a drink, use the toilet, or say hello to someone else.
When done right, it can leave people with a great impression of you and your charisma. And they’ll want a little bit more of your company!
Final thoughts
Overall, being charismatic isn’t just about you and your life experiences. It’s mostly about how you make other people feel.
People won’t think you’re charismatic if they don’t feel good in your company.
Likewise, they won’t think you’re full of life if you don’t make them feel positive about the things you say and do!
But if you make them feel listened to, valued, funny, and important – they’re more likely to have a positive perception of you as well as themselves.
Because essentially, what you’re doing is bringing out the best in them. And that’s kind of what charisma is.
Being so upbeat and joyous that you make other people feel upbeat and joyous, too!
