7 psychological “tricks” that make you seem instantly more charismatic

Ever wondered how some people can capture the attention of their audience in every conversation?

You feel compelled to listen to them because they’re able to effortlessly connect with each person they’re talking to. Their charm draws people in and they light up every room they walk into.

If you’re more of an introvert but you’ve always wanted to appear more charismatic, here are some psychological tricks to try out the next time you’re in a social setting.

1) Sharing stories and personal anecdotes

People love a good story. Everyone wants to be entertained.

If you think your life is boring, think again. Most of the time, it’s about the way you deliver your story.

As each person brings different experiences to the table, there may be experiences you’ve had that not many share.

When you’ve identified these, practice, practice, and practice.

Start with a thought-provoking question or a lesser-known fact about yourself. Then, build on that by sharing an interesting personal experience. 

Be descriptive but try not to go into too much detail unless asked. A story that goes on for too long before reaching its punchline may cause you to lose the attention of your listeners.

As you captivate your audience, continue the conversation with follow-up questions. 

These could include:

  • Who would have thought…?
  • Has this happened to you too?
  • So, what would you have done in my position…? 

Invite your listeners to share their perspectives – a conversation should flow both ways. So, engage your audience!

They may not remember much of what happened throughout the day, but they’ll definitely remember what you said.

2) Mirror their body language and speech

While verbal communication is important, non-verbal communication is also key to becoming more charismatic.

It’s very obvious when someone has lost interest in a conversation. They’ll get restless, lose eye contact, and start giving one-word replies.

Be conscious of how you act when you’re speaking to someone. Showing that you’re interested in whatever they’re saying is crucial in building a connection with that person.

You can do this by mirroring their body language. If they’re crossing their arms or placing their fingers on their chin, do so after a few moments.

This also extends to their speech patterns. Observe their pitch, tone, and speed, and try to follow it.

But do these subtly, if not it could make the other person uncomfortable!

Overall, mirroring reflects empathy and a desire to want to connect with the other person at a deeper level.

3) Show enthusiasm 

When you’re speaking to someone, it goes without saying that you should appear as if you want to be there.

Conversations break down when there are disinterested participants. If your enthusiasm is low when speaking to people, it may put them off.

If your goal is to become more charismatic, there are times when you may need to pretend to appear interested.

This could mean putting on a smile, as genuinely as you can, and affirming the other person by either expressing it verbally or nodding.

Likewise, if you’re the one speaking, don’t forget to do it with enthusiasm. Use gestures, and change your pitch and tone, as you try to engage your audience.

Remember, enthusiasm is contagious.

It’ll catch on with others in the same room. Eventually, people will be curious and start to crowd around you.

You’ll be the life of the party and the centre of attention in no time.

4) Repeat their name during the conversation

If you’re speaking to someone new, try to repeat their name throughout the conversation. This helps to build a connection with the other person and a sense of familiarity.

When expressing gratitude, greeting, or if you’re affirming the person, adding their name to this helps involve them in the conversation. 

Some examples of these could include:

  • Thank you, <name>
  • <name>, what do you think of…
  • Great idea, <name>, could you explain further? 

Try not to overdo it though, as it may appear forced. 

5) Show vulnerability

You don’t need to be an open book all the time if you’re not comfortable with it, but showing the other person that you’re willing to be vulnerable goes a long way. 

It shows that you trust them and makes you appear more relatable as well.

You don’t need to share all your struggles, but where appropriate, show that you’re keen on engaging them on a deeper level.

People will be drawn to you, as they also start tearing down their walls. You’ll find that more and more people will want to talk to you about literally anything.

6) Have a sense of humor

Humor is a key element of being charismatic. People generally enjoy the company of those who have a good sense of humor.

While this may come naturally to some, humor can be a tricky thing to master. But just like everything else, practice makes perfect.

Watch how others do it and try adding wit and jokes to your conversations. Come up with funny stories based on past experiences and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself!

However, try to steer away from offensive or inappropriate jokes. These may backfire and cause people to dislike you instead.

In general, funny people are naturally considered charismatic, so this is a super important trait to learn.

7) Compliment sincerely

Another way of building charisma is by making the other person feel good. Compliments are free, so why not be generous with these? They come at no cost to you as well.

But do it with sincerity. It’s obvious when you’re doing too much, and this can come off as desperate. 

If you like someone’s outfit, don’t be afraid to let them know. And if they’ve shared an accomplishment they’re proud of, congratulate them! 

It also helps encourage the other person and could be the perfect pick-me-up if they’re having a bad day.

So, put a smile on someone’s face with a simple compliment the next time you’re out and about!


Ultimately, the key to being charismatic is to make the other person feel good while showing that you’re interesting enough to be around.

While this sounds tough, with practice, you’ll get the hang of it. Remember to be genuine in your interactions – people can sense when you’re just saying things for the sake of doing so. 

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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