10 phrases you should never say to your partner, unless you want to break up

Relationships can be tricky, no doubt about that. The rollercoaster of emotions, the ups and downs, and the constant effort to keep the spark alive, it all adds up.

Communication, as we all know, is the key to every successful relationship. However, sometimes, our words can be like ticking time bombs that explode into arguments or even break-ups.

So, let’s talk about them. Here are the 10 phrases you should never say to your partner, unless you want to break up. Sit back, read through and make sure you steer clear of these relationship landmines!

1) “You’re overreacting”

This one is a classic.

Telling your partner they’re overreacting can make them feel like their feelings are not valid. It can make them feel small and not taken seriously.

Remember, just because you might not react in the same way, doesn’t mean their reaction is wrong or over the top.

A better approach might be, “I can see you’re upset, let’s talk about it.” This shows empathy and a willingness to understand, which can go a long way in healing whatever is causing the upset.

2) “You always…” or “You never…”

Absolute statements like these can really put your partner on the defensive. They’re accusatory and can make your partner feel like they’re being attacked.

Instead of using “always” or “never”, try expressing how their actions make you feel and what you need from them. This promotes a more open and honest conversation rather than a blame game.

For instance, instead of saying “You never help with the housework”, you could say “I feel overwhelmed with the housework and could really use some help.”

3) “My ex would/wouldn’t do that”

Trust me, this is one phrase you want to avoid like the plague.

I remember once, in the heat of an argument, I let this phrase slip out. The look on my partner’s face was a mix of hurt and anger. It felt like I had crossed a line.

Comparing your current partner to an ex is not only unfair but it can also create insecurity and resentment.

So no matter how frustrated you get, resist the urge to bring your ex into the conversation. It’s just not worth it.

4) “If you loved me, you would…”

This phrase is a form of emotional manipulation that can be quite damaging to a relationship.

It creates an expectation that your partner should prove their love by doing what you want. Using love as a bargaining tool can lead to resentment and ultimately damage the relationship.

Instead, communicate your needs or desires openly without tying them to your partner’s love for you.

5) “I don’t care”

These three words can strike like a dagger in the heart.

Indifference can be more hurtful than anger because it signals a lack of interest in your partner’s feelings or thoughts.

It’s like saying, “You don’t matter to me.”

Every time you communicate, you’re not just sharing information; you’re also showing how much you value the relationship.

Try saying “I need some time to think about it.” This shows that you take your partner’s words seriously and need time to process them.

6) “Whatever”

phrases men with low emotional intelligence use in relationships 10 phrases you should never say to your partner, unless you want to break up

This one hits close to home for me.

I used to say “whatever” a lot during disagreements, thinking I was defusing the situation. But I soon realized that it was doing more harm than good.

“Whatever” can come off as dismissive and disrespectful, making your partner feel like their opinions or feelings don’t matter to you.

It took some time and patience, but I learned to replace “whatever” with “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.” This shows that you’re willing to work through the conflict rather than brushing it off.

7) “I’m fine”

This might be the biggest lie ever told in relationships. It’s what we say when we’re anything but fine.

It’s a wall we put up when we’re hurt, upset, or just don’t want to deal with the issue at hand.

The problem is, it shuts down communication. It leaves your partner in the dark, guessing what they did wrong or what’s bothering you.

If something’s up, be honest about it. It might be tough, but it’s the only way to work through things and move forward.

8) “You’re just like your mother/father”

This phrase is often used to hit below the belt, especially if the comparison is not a flattering one.

It can lead to feelings of resentment and can create tension between your partner and their family.

Negative comparisons can lead to decreased relationship satisfaction. So, instead of drawing unflattering parallels, focus on the issue at hand and discuss that.

9) “Why can’t you be more like…”

I’ll be honest, I’ve been on the receiving end of this one, and it doesn’t feel great.

Being compared to someone else, especially in a negative light, can really sting. It made me feel like I was not enough just as I was.

Comparisons don’t just harm the person being compared; they also harm the relationship by creating unnecessary standards.

The lesson here is to appreciate your partner for who they are, quirks and all. After all, it’s those unique traits that you fell in love with in the first place, right?

10) “Maybe we should just break up”

This one is a serious relationship grenade.

Throwing out a break-up as a threat or in the heat of an argument can cause deep wounds.

It’s like crying wolf – if you mention it enough times without meaning it, when the real issues come up, your partner might not take you seriously.

Break-up should never be used as a weapon to win an argument or to make your partner do something. Be mindful of your words, they carry more weight than you might think.

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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