8 phrases that instantly make you more attractive in conversation, according to psychologists

Striking up an interesting conversation isn’t always easy, especially when you’re trying to come across as attractive.

Interestingly enough, psychologists argue there are certain phrases that can instantly make you more appealing in conversation.

No, it’s not magic or manipulation—it’s authentic communication.

These phrases aren’t used to deceive others. Instead, they can help you connect on a deeper level, display your interest and understanding, and truly engage with the person you’re talking with.

So, if you want to enhance your communication skills and boost your self-confidence, read more below!

1) “Tell me more about that…”

When you’re in a conversation, there’s nothing more attractive than showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying. This is how the phrase “Tell me more about that” can instantly increase your attractiveness.

Why is this phrase so powerful?

Well, it signals to the other person that you’re not just passively listening, but actively engaged and interested in their thoughts and experiences. It shows that you value their perspective and want to understand more.

This simple phrase can steer a conversation from shallow small talk to a deeper, more meaningful interaction. It’s a subtle way to encourage someone to open up, share more, and feel valued.

2) “I don’t know…”

It may seem like admitting ignorance could make you seem less attractive or competent, but saying “I don’t know” can actually enhance your appeal in a conversation.

This phrase shows humility and honesty. It conveys your willingness to admit when you’re not an expert, which can make you seem more relatable and trustworthy.

In a world where everyone is expected to have an answer for everything, this candid admission can be refreshing.

Moreover, “I don’t know” opens the door for learning and growth. It invites the other person to share their knowledge, promoting a deeper and more engaging exchange.

Remember, the goal in a conversation isn’t always to impress with your knowledge. Sometimes, it’s more about showing you’re open-minded and eager to learn from others.

3) “How does that make you feel?”

We’re often told to avoid discussing emotions, especially in casual conversations.

But inviting someone to share their feelings with the question “How does that make you feel?” can create a deeper emotional connection.

When people are given the opportunity to express their emotions, they often feel more understood and validated. This can lead to a stronger bond between you and the other person.

In addition, this question shows that you are not only interested in the events of someone’s life but also in their personal emotional journey. It shows empathy and a willingness to engage on a deeper level, which can be incredibly attractive.

4) “You’re doing great…”

In the midst of a conversation, it’s easy to overlook the power of positive affirmation. The phrase “You’re doing great” can be a beautiful gift to offer someone during your exchanges.

This simple statement can provide a much-needed boost of confidence, especially when someone is sharing about challenges they’re facing or a new venture they’re undertaking. It reassures them that they’re on the right track and their effort is recognized.

Not only does it make the other person feel good, but it also reflects positively on you. It shows that you notice and appreciate their efforts, and that you’re supportive of their journey.

Because conversations are not just about exchanging information, they’re also about building relationships and offering support. And sometimes, a few kind words can go a long way in making you more attractive in conversation.

5) “I’ve been there, too…”

There’s something comforting about knowing you’re not alone in your experiences. That’s why the phrase “I’ve been there too” can have such a powerful impact in a conversation.

Sharing that you’ve had a similar experience validates the other person’s feelings and makes them feel understood. It creates a sense of camaraderie and bonding, as it highlights shared experiences and common ground.

However, it’s crucial to use this phrase genuinely.

Carefully listen to their story, and only say “I’ve been there too” if you truly have experienced something similar. Misusing this phrase can lead to a loss of trust, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.

6) “That reminds me of a time when…”

first date behaviors that put most people off 1 8 phrases that instantly make you more attractive in conversation, according to psychologists

Personal anecdotes can add a touch of color and depth to a conversation. They can make you more relatable and interesting, as in the case of the phrase, “That reminds me of a time when…”.

For instance, if someone is sharing their travel adventures and it sparks a memory of your own trip, you might say: “That reminds me of a time when I got lost in a maze-like local market in Marrakesh. The sights, sounds, and smells were all overwhelming but incredibly fascinating!”

Sharing such a moment from your own life adds a personal touch to the conversation. It not only makes the exchange more engaging but also offers the other person an insight into your life and experiences.

By sharing personal stories in response to what others are saying, you show that you’re engaged in the conversation and are willing to share part of yourself too. This openness can make you more attractive in conversation.

7) “Have you considered…?”

Sometimes, part of being attractive in conversation is having the courage to challenge someone in a constructive way. The phrase “Have you considered…?” can be a gentle way to introduce a new perspective or suggest an alternative.

Let’s say a friend is venting about being stuck in a dead-end job. You might respond with, “Have you considered exploring other career paths or maybe going back to school?”

This phrase isn’t used to undermine their feelings or try to solve their problems. It’s used to show them that you care enough to think critically about their situation and offer potential solutions.

Still, always make sure your suggestion is relevant and respectful. The key is to foster an open dialogue and show that you’re invested in their well-being. 

8) “Thank you for sharing that with me…”

At the end of the day, one of the most attractive things you can do in a conversation is to show gratitude.

And the phrase “Thank you for sharing that with me” does just that.

This phrase does more than just show good manners. It shows appreciation for the other person’s openness and vulnerability. It acknowledges their courage to share something personal with you.

Whether they’ve shared a funny anecdote, a painful memory, or an exciting dream, by thanking them, you’re showing respect for their story.

Remember, being attractive in a conversation doesn’t mean having all the right words or answers. It’s listening, showing empathy, and being appreciative of the other person.

And there’s no better way to embody this than by saying, “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

It leaves a lasting impression and can make you truly unforgettable in any conversation.

Final thoughts

Conversations are an art—and it’s one that requires patience, practice, and, above all, genuine care for the people you’re communicating with.

This article has shared some key phrases that can instantly make you more attractive in conversation, according to psychologists.

However, ultimately, it’s not about following a script or using certain phrases mechanically. It’s about authentic engagement and connection.

Remember, the heart of any conversation is mutual understanding and respect. And sometimes, the simplest phrases can open doors to deeper connections.

Picture of Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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