There are people who radiate class and grace as if they’re born with it.
But here’s their secret—it’s all learned, and they are the way they are because they put in the effort to be that way.
And if they can manage to figure it out, then so can you. In fact, you might already be one without you knowing it.
That’s why in this article, I will show you the traits that show someone has class and grace.
1) You’ve got style
If you were to take a close look at yourself, you can confidently say that yes, you do have style… and it shows!
You don’t like being seen as messy or unkempt and go to great lengths to make sure that you’re as presentable as can be.
And it doesn’t matter whether you’re into formal fashion or goth, your get-up is bound to look natural on you.
But also, it’s not just the way you look on the surface, but also the way you walk and talk too.
When people look at you, there’s no way they’ll ever mistake you for anyone else.
2) You’re mindful of how you affect others
Someone who merely looks classy but doesn’t have this one important trait isn’t truly classy—they’re just pretending that they are.
See, classy people care a lot about quality of life. They want to live happy, peaceful lives free of unnecessary burdens and troubles. And they want that not just for themselves, but also for others.
So at the very least, they will go to great lengths not to be an annoyance towards others, especially in public.
They won’t plow through a crowd expecting others to give way, or speak loudly in a room full of people. If anything, they’ll think such behavior is crass, and would instead try to slip through crowds and keep their voices low.
3) You have self-discipline
Self-discipline lies at the very heart of what makes one a classy and graceful person.
It takes self-discipline to keep oneself from raising their voice in public when they’re, say, angry because of something they overheard. It takes self-discipline not to try cutting in line when you’re short on time and the queue is barely budging.
It’s central to one’s self-integrity, not just in values but also in one’s commitment to the decisions they have made.
You also practice self-discipline by not doing things that could potentially harm you. You don’t drink too much, you don’t stay up so late, you don’t engage in gossip.
It should come as no surprise that all the other traits listed here require self-discipline to practice and maintain. Without self-discipline, it’s easy to slip out of classiness.
4) You act in alignment to your life purpose
It’s hard to be classy when you have your head bowed down because you simply don’t know where your life is headed, or what you should even live for.
When you have no idea what your life’s purpose is, or when you’re working against it, you will be haunted by feelings of frustration, listlessness, and dissatisfaction.
And those very same feelings get in the way of being genuinely classy and graceful.
That’s why classy, graceful people not just know their life’s purpose, but also act in alignment to it.
This gives them a deep connection with their inner selves and a sense of purpose that keeps them going even when times are rough.
If you haven’t figured out what your life’s purpose is, I suggest watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s eye-opening video.
I watched it myself and found it quite enlightening. Here he explains that most people misunderstand how to find their purpose, using visualization and other self-help techniques.
But the thing is that visualization isn’t exactly the best way to find your purpose. Instead, there’s a new way to do it which Justin Brown learned from spending time with a shaman in Brazil.
Watching this video helped me reaffirm my purpose in life and wash away the sense of dissatisfaction and unease that had been plaguing me.
And just as it helped me, I’m confident that it can help you too.
5) You’re true to your word
You can’t really call someone who simply can’t be trusted with their word to be classy or graceful.
If anything, lies and broken promises are the opposite of classy.
But you, you’re true to your word—whatever promises you may make, you go to great lengths to fulfill.
That means you’ll do your best to beat a deadline, to show up when you said “Yes” to an event, to help when you promised you would.
And same goes when you promise NOT to do something. You won’t spill a secret if you promised you wouldn’t…not even to your partner or best friend.
6) You know when to keep quiet
Classy and graceful people don’t talk their mouths off as if the world is obligated to hear whatever it is they have to say.
But don’t take this to mean that they’re quiet all the time either, or that they’re shy, cowards, or pushovers.
No—they simply know when they ought to shut up and listen.
If you prefer to remain quiet when you really have nothing important to share or if you choose your words to avoid hurting others, then chances are that you’re classy… at least in this regard.
7) You know when to speak up
As I’ve said, classy people don’t find the need to talk when there’s nothing to talk about.
But when a situation requires it—say, someone says something that’s clearly wrong or rude, classy people are the first to speak up.
You’re not afraid to make yourself heard, even when you’re facing someone who people find intimidating, like your boss or even the president of the country.
You know it’s your responsibility to tell the truth, to clarify something, and to speak your mind when it’s really needed.
8) You aim to bring more joy to everyone around you
Has anyone told you that you’re a ray of sunshine, or that you make people feel appreciated and seen?
Then you’re probably classy… or, at the very least, graceful.
As mentioned earlier, classy and graceful people want a world that’s filled with beauty and joy. So they always try to be a little nicer to everyone around them.
They smile warmly at the barista, they are kind to their employees, and you rarely see them being rude to anyone even when they’re stressed.
They ask themselves “How can I make others feel better?”, and they do that.
They’re not people-pleasers, per se. It simply gives them joy to make other people happy, no strings attached.
9) You stay calm under pressure
You don’t freak out and mash your horn when you’re stuck in traffic. You don’t act like it’s the end of the world when something goes wrong.
And that’s because you’ve learned how to manage your emotions. You know that while freaking out is totally normal human behavior, it won’t do you any good.
Not only will it not solve any of your problems, it will also take time and energy that you could have used to solve that problem instead.
You watched a lot of meditation videos, you had experiences that made you let go of control much easier, and you trained your mind to stay calm… and hey, they worked!
10) You’re assertive but gentle
You know how to assert yourself, but you do it with such grace that people appreciate you for it.
When someone steps on your boundaries, you reaffirm your boundaries without being unnecessarily harsh over it.
And when you see someone you know making a mistake, you don’t lecture them about it as if they’re a student in need of scolding. Instead, you try to inform them gently and try to not make them feel dumb over it.
You try to be as compassionate and understanding as you can be to others. You know we’re all flawed and so you’re patient especially to those who challenge your boundaries the most.
11) You value yourself
More important than style is self-respect and self-love.
You value yourself for who you are, and know that you are good enough as is. So you do not try to be someone you’re not… not even in pursuit of class and grace.
And that is actually something that brings you closer to being a classy person.
This is because in valuing yourself, you bring out and develop the best parts of who you are as a person.
So you stand as someone with grace and style, not in imitation of another, but unapologetically your own.
12) You value others
But of course, you don’t just value yourself—you also value others.
And just as well, because valuing oneself without valuing others leads to narcissism and an overinflated ego.
Which is, well, very much the last thing you’ll ever hear associated with class and grace.
You believe that everyone has a story to tell, and a perspective every bit as valid as yours even when it may be entirely different or even opposed to yours.
You might have looked over everything I’ve listed so far and go “that’s good and all, but I’m just not born that way!” because you have problems with, say, your patience or your temper.
But even then, it’s not like you can’t be graceful or classy in other aspects. All these problems can be tamed with enough hard work and discipline so just keep working at your weaknesses.
And with enough time, you can confidently say to yourself that you’re truly classy and graceful.