Are you feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and often disappointed in your relationship but can’t quite put your finger on why?
You may be dealing with a “bare minimum man.” This is the type of person who isn’t exhibiting any outright bad behavior but who also isn’t putting in any effort to make you feel loved and cared for.
Understanding the essential personality features of the bare minimum man can help you identify this type of partner and take steps to improve your relationship.
So join me as I show you the top personality traits of the bare minimum man and provide tips for dealing with them.
1) Lack of communication
Lack of communication can kill any relationship, let alone the one where your partner is a bare minimum man.
And let’s face it, it has never been easier not to communicate because we’re glued to our smartphones most of the time. Oh, the irony.
That being said, lack of communication is one of the most significant personality traits of bare minimum men. They just sit on the couch like a potato, watch the game, or whatever, and exist.
2) Lack of initiative
Speaking of couch potatoes, they are like that because they lack the initiative to do something or, uh, anything.
They lack the initiative for anything but to change the channel on the TV.
How can you expect such a person to plan a date, a fun activity, or any other way of spending time with you?
This leaves the responsibility to maintain the relationship on your shoulders. A one-sided relationship is not fun, I can tell you.
The worst part is that even when you plan an activity, nine times out of ten, the bare minimum man will dismiss it or even laugh you out of the room.
So what are we to think of this behavior?
3) Low motivation
Lack of communication, lack of initiative… This all leads to one conclusion. The man has low or no motivation for the relationship or even life in general.
This lack of motivation will stop him in his tracks to improve the relationship, let alone take it to the next level.
Why does he lack the motivation to work on the relationship? Is he not satisfied with it? Is he happy with the status quo and doesn’t want to change things?
With the lack of communication, it’s hard to tell, and you’ll simply have to pry it out of him, no matter how much he’ll resist.
4) Unreliability
We’ve all met highly unreliable people. Not only do they not follow through on their promises and commitments, but they do it to such an extent that it seriously erodes the trust.
Can you rely on your partner? Is he the shoulder you can cry on and the rock you can lean on? Does he stick to his word and walks the walk?
If not, why not? Why stay in such a relationship? Think about that for a minute.
This brings us to my next point.
Related: Stay single until you find someone with these 7 traits
5) Selfishness
Are you the one always making sacrifices in the relationship? Are you always doing activities he likes? Of course, you are.
The bare minimum man is extremely selfish and will only do what he likes. There’s no compromise with such a person, and if there is one, it’s after you’ve pleaded for 10 days.
This kind of selfish and entitled behavior creates feelings of resentment and frustration in the relationship, and you start feeling like your own needs and desires are constantly being ignored or overlooked.
6) No empathy
If your partner fails to respond to cues that you’re overwhelmed, stressed, sad, or distant, he may lack empathy and care for your emotional needs.
This is one of the worst traits of the bare minimum man. If he can’t even notice that your body language has changed, how will he react to it?
Will he express interest or concern when you’re going through a difficult time? Will he ask, “What’s wrong?, and “How can I help?”
Yeah, I thought so.
What’s even worse is that he may downplay your emotions or offer simplistic solutions that don’t address the underlying issue.
This can leave you feeling unsupported and isolated and may cause you to also withdraw emotionally from the relationship.
7) Inconsistency
Inconsistency is the death of trust and emotional connection in a relationship. It can be frustrating and confusing when your partner isn’t maintaining a level of engagement in a relationship over time.
Of course, this can happen even in normal relationships. Still, it happens much faster when the other person is a bare minimum man.
At the start of the relationship, he’s this perfect guy who’s caring, listens to your every word, and showers you with attention.
However, a month or two into the relationship, he already feels distant and uninterested. This can be incredibly distressing if you are heavily invested in the relationship and seek more profound commitment and consistency.
This leads us to the next genuinely unfortunate point.
8) Indifference
Is there anything worse than indifference? I know for a fact that many people prefer someone to hate them than to be indifferent towards them.
And although you don’t want your partner to hate you, obviously, you don’t want them to be indifferent towards you as well.
This indifference can lead to a lack of initiative and communication, as you read above.
A bare minimum man who displays indifference towards you and the relationship ultimately doesn’t care enough about you or your relationship’s future.
He won’t make an effort to maintain or strengthen the connection between himself and you.
It’s just another toxic personality trait such a person carries. But there are two more that are equally important and devastating to the other person.
9) Forgetfulness
This is my Achilles heel, not in the way I am forgetful, but in how it physically hurts me when a person doesn’t remember important facts from our (recent) conversation.
I get it. We all have a lot going on in our lives, but paying attention to people you love and care about and remembering important facts from their lives should be the bare minimum.
On the other hand, the bare minimum man can’t even do that properly. He will forget your birthday and anniversary and completely wipe out from his memory the day you first met or even kissed.
Don’t even get me started on forgetting promises he made or expressing gratitude and appreciation.
10) No responsibility
If you thought forgetfulness was terrible, what’s even worse is the lack of responsibility.
When the bare minimum man makes a mistake or does something wrong, he will almost always struggle to take responsibility for his actions and own up to it.
Instead, he will deflect blame onto others or make excuses for his behavior. He may blame his forgetfulness on being too busy at work or having a lot on his mind.
Worse yet, he may try to shift the blame onto you, saying you should’ve reminded him or that you should’ve taken care of it yourself.
Final thoughts
But don’t take my word for it. Look around you and talk to your friends. You will see that you are, unfortunately, surrounded by bare minimum men who take their relationships for granted.
On the other side, there are many people who are genuinely lovely. Learn how to recognize their traits so you can find the person you truly deserve.
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