10 personality traits of an emotionally mature man

Have you ever dated a man who has clearly never moved on from their exes?

Not once in their life?

It will be evident in their lack of ability to connect with you genuinely. Almost like they’re being haunted, looking at you like they’ve seen a ghost.

That’s a man that lacks emotional maturity because it requires you to let go of the past and be grateful for how those experiences shaped you.

Beyond that mini sentiment, there’s a whole slew of personality traits that mark this ability.

Here are 10 personality traits of an emotionally mature man.

1) He is grateful

For anyone – regardless of gender – at the root of emotional intelligence is radical acceptance.

A blend of gratitude and humility, it’s a sign that they acknowledge the vastness of life and how we have absolutely no control over anything.

Well, that’s anything except the things we do have control over!

Especially in a world where male privilege is prevalent and very much alive, a man who understands this is a mature one.

And when we take it a step further, that’s a man who is aware that if he who has these privileges is not invincible – what does that say about everyone else?

2) He is self-aware

Self-awareness is when a person is well attuned with their strengths, weaknesses and everything in between. It’s how they keep it real with themselves.

So if a man is able to notice and manage all the elements in life that distract him from being aware of his privilege, he is self-aware.

For example, if the pursuit of material success eats away at his empathy or ability to connect with others, that will be something he cares to address.

To put this all simply, he cares about the health of his soul.

When we combine the traits above, we get someone who is focused. And what do we get when someone is focused on the right things?

If you guessed accountability, you are correct.

3) He is accountable

In his personal relationships, but also regarding his place in society.

An emotionally mature man will not make excuses, but instead use that energy to understand his actions. You can rely on him to help you feel safe even when he makes mistakes.

He will know how to apologize without questioning another person’s perspective and will make necessary changes to understand his behaviors.

No band-aid solutions here, we are going straight to the ER – no ambulance!

And it’s no secret that people take men more seriously!

So this can mean that he will speak up for women, or use his power to give voices to causes that matter to him.

If we use what I like to call “personality math” again by adding up the traits above, we get someone who has a strong growth mindset.

4) He has a growth mindset

A growth mindset is essential for emotional maturity.

It basically means that a man sees himself as a human being who always has room to grow. That there is always something new that he can learn.

He will have the ability to look backward to acknowledge how far he’s come, as well as look to the present for what he is actively learning through his experiences.

And look to the future with a sense of courage and faith that stay consistent with his values. In other words, his consciousness is intact.

But growth isn’t just about improving and moving up whatever ladder you choose.

It’s also about viewing yourself with compassion so you can face your mistakes without shame getting in between and distorting your reality.

5) He is compassionate towards himself and others

phrases smart people use to influence others 10 personality traits of an emotionally mature man

Emotional maturity becomes tested when you are called to be compassionate towards yourself during tough times.

It’s what builds resilience and helps you continue to work towards your goals without losing what’s most important – yourself.

But it’s not limited to when you need a pick-me-up. 

It’s also something that should be practiced when you’re at your best. To be grateful and thank yourself for coming so far. 

A mature man understands this and isn’t afraid to celebrate himself and his mistakes.

Because it’s only when you can appreciate yourself for the range you carry that you can extend that self-love to the rest of the world. And this warmth creates a network of support wherever he goes.

To value community is to value your humanity – you don’t have to know him personally to feel valued. 

The ability to understand others on such a level will be noted in the way he communicates and doesn’t leave things up for interpretation.

6) He is a good communicator

Strong communication skills are the foundation of emotional maturity.

And just as he is clear and honest in the way he speaks up for himself and others, he listens just as intently.

Talking to him will feel like you are in a safe environment free of judgment. Ensuring everyone involved feels heard.

Furthermore, he uses these open-ended discussions to grow his knowledge of the world. 

He will look to continuously grow his communication skills to better serve his community. Which is a huge reason why his relationships become more intimate and enhanced over time.

And this commitment to open communication is linked to his capacity as a free thinker.

7) He is a free-thinker

So many men live for the validation of other men or society in general – which is rooted in the patriarchy.

Along with encouraging the people around him to express their uniqueness no matter how they fit with the status quo, they will be respectful of their own boundaries.

Meaning he is able to say ‘no.’

They are able to set boundaries effectively whenever anyone tries to pressure them to subscribe to toxic masculinity or undermine his sensitivity.

And his free-thinking nature isn’t rooted in maintaining his right to “free speech.” But also upholding everyone else’s right to live a life of their own.

Which is what a lot of free-thinkers tend to miss because they lack a sense of empathy for those who come from different backgrounds or privileges.

This healthy balance will help him retain his individuality as well as his open-mindedness.

8) He is open-minded

I like to think that if being a free thinker means you’re able to think for yourself, then being open-minded means you’re able to question yourself.

Without losing your mind, of course.

Similar to having a growth mindset, to be curious is to express a sense of humility. Instead of being intimidated by life’s unknowns, he is inspired by it.

That includes respecting the beliefs of others that may challenge his own without getting triggered.

Almost as if he has an innate belief that many things can co-exist at once. And a solution is surely afoot if there are disagreements.

If we could just stay a little patient…

9) He is patient

Patience speaks to an ability to allow life to unfold. That what goes up will eventually come back down. And what is sideways, can also be upright depending on how you look at it. 

What happens with a lot of people, not just men, is that their impatience gets in the way of their heart. Causing them to believe that they can only win at the expense of others.

So patience is about believing in your ability to expand without relying heavily on the outcome. It’s trusting the process and appreciating the journey within the twists and turns.

This inner peace is also extended to those around him where he believes and nurtures others and their potential. Helping them overcome their challenges by being an A1 problem solver.

10) He is a problem-solver

Our final personality math, a man who is emotionally mature has mastered all the traits above.

And he is able to be an excellent problem solver by using his power and place to make room for those who are systematically denied space.

Because a good problem solver isn’t all about getting rid of the issue. 

It is truly understanding it, and working to execute this understanding in a way that promotes peace. So he will be well-educated and won’t shy away from history’s dark underbelly. 

His sensitivity and empathy will come in handy as he allows a healthy free flow of emotions in himself and those around him.

The heart is a blueprint and outlines where the world needs justice! It takes away all the lines in society that seek to oppress by silencing anyone who wants it.

And in that sense, you could say that an emotionally mature man is one who looks at himself as a human being before he sees himself as a man.

An emotionally mature man is able to self-regulate.

In other words, he understands there is a time and place for everything.

He isn’t overrun by his desire to divide and conquer like all the history books tell him that he should because love and harmony are his biggest motivators.

In a world of conformity, he is a refreshing individual who sees his power as a tool for positive change. 

He’s just not reading history; he’s rewriting it.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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