Leila El-Dean
We all know at least one person who possesses a certain je ne sais quoi.
Call it natural charisma, raw magnetism, or, in the words of Kai Cenat, unspoken rizz. But whenever they walk into a room, all eyes are on them.
And without even trying, everyone’s chomping at the bit to be their friend.
It’s as though people are inherently drawn to them through some kind of voodoo or magic powers.
Of course, there’s some debate about whether charisma is innate or a learned behavior. And it can be difficult to quantify or put into words.
But if you, or someone you know, displays these six personality traits, chances are they have that “it factor”.
So if you’re here for yourself or “asking for a friend”, let’s unlock the secrets of being instantly likable together.
1) They listen, I mean really listen
…and they ask follow-up questions too!
It may seem like billy basics, but you should never underestimate the power of being a good listener.
And as my grandmother used to say, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”.
Okay, so she can’t take all the credit. Originally coined by Epictetus, a Greek philosopher. This sentiment is just as relevant today as it was back in ancient times.
Not only does listening demonstrate respect, but it displays compassion and understanding for others.
However, it’s not just about nodding your head with a glazed look on your face.
To be a genuinely good listener, you need to make people feel heard!
And by that I mean, show interest, ask meaningful questions, react authentically, and be present. After all, communication is a two-way street.
In fact, some claim it’s a critical interpersonal skill, while this study found that feeling listened to reduced the speakers’ sense of loneliness and rejection.
At the end of the day, conversation is an art form. And people who are instantly likable appreciate this.
2) They radiate genuine warmth
Simply put, kindness is the act of being nice.
Honestly, we could all do with a little bit of that in our lives. And for good reason!
According to research, it can promote happiness in others.
But it doesn’t stop there.
This study found that being kind can also be beneficial to your own well-being, with participants experiencing reduced depression among other things.
And it’s scientifically proven that altruistic or selfless actions can give you an edge in the workplace.
Of course, genuinely likable people don’t do it for the praise, or even the health benefits.
And as it happens, they naturally exude warmth and are inherently giving without even trying.
In fact, they know that being kind isn’t about grand gestures. It can be as simple as a smile, eye contact, or offering a shoulder to cry on.
Ultimately, by being authentic, actively listening, and taking the time to connect with others, people naturally gravitate towards their inviting aura and calming personality.
And that not only makes them likable but also easy to approach.
3) They are deeply empathetic
Empathetic individuals have the unique ability to understand and share feelings.
Sometimes, it’s almost like they’re experiencing it too.
And their willingness to listen, without being judgmental, makes them deeply likable.
So what’s the secret?
Thanks to their high emotional intelligence (EQ), they can see things from all perspectives. Not just their own.
This makes them a calming force, whatever the situation. And you know that they’re always there to offer support and comfort when needed.
Most of all, their compassionate nature allows them to be extremely open-minded.
Because of this, they’re easy to talk to, which can foster a deep sense of connection among their peers.
4) They have a positive attitude
Ever wondered what the secret of happiness is? Well, it could be as simple as spending time with other happy people.
After all, who doesn’t like a bit of positive energy in their lives?
And I think we can all agree that being around optimistic people can be incredibly uplifting. Not to mention, that an upbeat demeanor is utterly contagious.
So it’s no wonder that people with a positive attitude have no shortage of friends.
In fact, surrounding yourself with positivity has been proven to increase productivity and your emotional well-being.
From their ability to always see the silver lining to filling the room with their positive energy, these kinds of people are simply pleasant to be around.
In turn, this makes them exceptionally likable and masters of working a room.
5) They are confident (but also humble)
Confidence can be tricky. And it all comes down to balance.
Get it right, and it can be an impressive and attractive trait. Get it wrong, and you come across as arrogant or rude.
Thankfully, if you’re a likable person you’ve got the perfect amount of conviction with a side of humble pie.
Let me explain.
When someone is confident, it shows a certain amount of self-awareness and self-esteem.
And when someone can acknowledge their achievements without showing off or belittling others, it demonstrates a real strength of character. Something which can be very appealing.
Furthermore, this modest yet self-assured behavior helps them easily gain respect and admiration from those around them.
6) They have a great sense of humor
Laughter is the best medicine, or so they say.
So what better trait is there to round this list off, than a good sense of humor?
That’s right. A good sense of humor is a surefire way to win over a crowd. And research shows that it can increase your social attractiveness.
Not only does humor help lighten the mood and ease tension, but it can break down barriers and transcend social norms.
At the end of the day, laughter is a universal language.
And if you can use your wits to make someone chuckle, it’s a great way to create memories, build connections, and make friends. Plus, it shows that you don’t take life too seriously.
Basically, that’s all the ingredients you need to make you more likable, and then some.
Just remember to not overthink it!
