True confidence is actively built.
Because growth is all about learning how to value adaptability, so learning how to value yourself will be one of those things that will change with you.
Which means low self-worth can sneak up on anyone, but it’s nothing to panic or feel ashamed about.
Especially if you are neurodivergent and have a mind like mine, exhaustion or stagnancy can make us feel like there’s something “wrong.”
It’s all about learning how to listen to yourself and what you need.
To help you become more aware here are 9 behaviors people with low self-worth display without realizing.
1) They are addicted to the drama
Drama is like a magnet for those with low self-worth.
It’s usually because they don’t believe they are worthy of peace, so they assume chaotic narratives.
For example, assuming someone has bad blood with you because they didn’t respond to a text right away. Usually, it’s more likely that they were just busy and forgot.
It’s almost like a temporary distraction that overshadows the internal turmoil they feel.
Otherwise, you may even confuse true companionship with a type of bonding that happens between two insecure people.
Like have you ever had a friend who only has problems for you to solve when you get together?
Or worse, they just have a load of gossip to share?
2) They like to gossip
Gossip is one of those things that can be useful to keep a community safe.
But in this case, I’m talking about the type where people use it to divert their attention away from their own insecurities by projecting them onto others to feel better.
This is especially hard to catch because we humans are social creatures.
So when we find another person who struggles with the same things, we can start to normalize negativity in our lives.
Even if we do, we might not even care that it’s bad for us. And that’s usually because people with low self-worth lack a connection with themselves and are easily lonely.
When you are heavily influenced by others and what’s comfortable, what ends up happening is a lack of values and moral judgment.
3) They lack values and moral judgment
Have you ever met someone who is the personification of Switzerland and not in a good way?
They never have an opinion on anything that would put them at odds with anyone. Not because they value peace, but because they hate to upset people.
If the discomfort of others overshadows your own morals, it’s a huge sign that you are a people-pleaser.
And because this kind of behavior is the perfect place for a hive mindset to take shape, the companionship you receive in the tradeoff can mask a low self-worth.
This can lead to inconsistent decision-making and a feeling of being “lost” all the time.
It’s something I’ve noticed in individuals who seem to be doing a lot of work on themselves but don’t feel like they’re making any progress.
A lack of a solid ethical foundation can make life’s complexities feel like a chore and having integrity feels like a loss.
4) They like to live for the thrill
Change is good, don’t get me wrong.
But if you feel like you need it at a pace where it starts to hinder your physical health, it might be indicative of an underlying issue.
This includes reckless behaviors or impulsive decisions that undermine your past efforts.
I see this as a general aversion to aging. Which you could say is a reflection of someone’s feelings toward death, which is a reflection of their feelings towards life.
And I don’t mean to give anyone an existential crisis.
But life feels more like something to make the best of instead of something to escape from when you stop giving yourself reasons to regret it.
That means in order to have a healthy self-worth, you must value your corporeal form and accept your own mortality by taking care of it!
And of course, start making decisions that are in line with your values!
Which won’t become clearer until you start being honest with yourself.
5) They aren’t completely honest with themselves
So back to that idea of low self-worth stemming from a lack of connection with oneself.
I think self-deception comes in many different forms.
Sometimes, it’s not until you have to learn it the hard way that you understand your own brand of sabotage.
But as someone who has ADHD and really had to rethink my entire lifestyle, I think introspection regarding my emotional well-being was the missing key.
That means although I appreciate all the mindfulness coaches who love to preach about not “taking things personally,” it’s just a band-aid solution if you have a low self-worth.
So before you decide to learn how to become “strong,” learn how to stand with yourself so you understand who you’re being strong for.
You’ll make a few mistakes along the way or step on a few toes.
But I found doing so helped me breakout of the people-pleasing habit.
6) They are over-accommodating
It’s a hard-wired behavior for a lot of us.
Especially women! You could say that oppression in general can condition people to have low self-worths without realizing.
This can be apologizing too often, to not care if your efforts are reciprocated, and in general not caring to question any of this.
When you are an empathetic person like most people, these kinds of things will come naturally to you.
But unfortunately, where you are conditioned to be overly generous, some are conditioned to think that taking and taking and taking is okay.
That it’s okay to not be accountable for themselves.
And the only way to break out of this cycle is to start making time for yourself through self-care.
7) They lack a self-care practice
Self-care has been branded as something that people do to feel better for an “instant” relief in the media.
But unless it becomes an actual practice in your life, it will lose its effect over time.
That means having a spa day or a shopping spree on your day off to cope with having a job you hate is only going to make you feel more lost in the long run.
That’s not to say it’s wasted effort, but if you’re here, you might be wondering why you feel like you’re running in place.
So with all things said, you need to start taking up space where you make room for positive but uncomfortable change in your life.
Avoiding standing up for yourself, avoiding negativity until it blows up, and burning yourself out until your body gives are all the ways you deplete yourself of power.
Take it back by taking inventory of your life, goals, preferences and accomplishments.
Trust me, you’re more than capable of a new beginning – you just haven’t had the time to realize it yet.
It’s an endless journey, but how else will you keep your individuality intact?
8) They are unable to handle constructive criticism
I know I’m in need of a spiritual tune-up when I start feeling touchy towards people’s constructive criticisms.
Now don’t get me wrong.
I believe some people will try to “humble” you because they feel threatened. So I refuse to be one of them when I can claim my greatness.
That’s why it’s so important that you have a good grip on your values. Otherwise, you might start listening to critics that just want you for their own validation.
Or push away people who challenge you to be a better version of yourself, giving growth a direction that we can believe in.
9) They cling onto past mistakes
This is partially why a lot of people tend to hate criticism because they view mistakes as life sentences.
And subconsciously or not, they start allowing these things to define their present and futures.
Either by making excuses for bad behavior within themselves and others, or by self-sabotaging good things because they don’t feel worthy.
But if you don’t know how to let go of your mistakes, it means you don’t know how to accept them.
Which says a lot about how you take accountability for them.
The ability to forgive yourself will affect the way you do so for others, and breaking free involves seeing growth as a skill you can improve.
That means be patient and don’t give up the practice.
If you find yourself stuck here and don’t know what to do, start by noticing all the ways you distract yourself with self-destruction.
What makes you feel out of control?
Once you see a pattern, you’ll know where to go from there.
If you recognize any of these behaviors within yourself, take it as a sign that you need a fresh start
It doesn’t have to be a complete life makeover, all at once. Take it one area of your life at a time using the method I described in my last point.
There’s always room to grow, and if you can recognize it, that means you’re capable of it.
Besides, no one can hide from themselves forever.
Especially now that you’ve read this article, the fate where you love yourself is simply inevitable.