People with high emotional intelligence never say these 13 phrases during an argument

People with high emotional intelligence understand and empathize with the emotions of others.

But they’re also aware of their own emotions and can handle them better than others. This helps them argue with people better.

Plus, they remain calm and patient during arguments, realizing that resolving complex issues takes time.

You can also count on them not saying hurtful things that will sting far after the argument is done. 

So, without delay, let’s see what phrases people with high emotional intelligence never say during an argument.

1) “You always…” and “You never…”

Making broad statements like these can oversimplify things and miss the nuances of real-life situations. 

It’s pretty wild how we tend to generalize stuff that’s actually quite complex and unique to each situation.

Being specific lets us probe into what’s really going on and opens the door to a more thoughtful discussion. 

This way, we steer clear of those blanket statements that don’t capture the full picture.

Also, when we use phrases like these, it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull: it puts people on edge and makes it tough to have a productive conversation.

2) “You’re wrong”

People with high emotional intelligence prioritize maintaining positive relationships. They focus on understanding differing perspectives and finding common ground instead of declaring and labeling.

They understand the power of words. So, they opt for language that’s constructive and respectful, even when they disagree with someone.

So, for example, they’ll use “I see it differently, and here’s why…” instead of “You’re wrong about that.”

Or, instead of, “You’ve got it all wrong,” they’ll say, “I see things a bit differently. Here’s my take on it…”

3) “It’s your problem, not mine”

When someone’s in trouble, the easiest thing to do is to turn your back on them and say, “It’s your problem, not mine.”

But for high EQ people, that’s never an option. Instead of pushing problems away, they’re more into finding common ground.

They also see the bigger picture:

They know that what affects one person in a relationship usually affects both. It’s all connected, and playing the blame game just makes things worse.

4) “I told you so”

People with high emotional intelligence generally avoid saying “I told you so” during arguments because nobody likes to be told they were wrong, especially in a way that comes off as gloating or superior.

I’m sure you agree that saying “I told you so” comes across as condescending and disrespectful and creates resentment.

So, instead of dwelling on who was right or wrong, emotionally intelligent people focus on solutions and teamwork

5) “It’s all your fault”

Placing blame entirely on one person is another “great” way to escalate tensions. However, blaming someone entirely for a problem oversimplifies things and doesn’t recognize that both parties might have played a role.

Instead of pointing fingers, they try to figure out what really caused the problem. By digging deeper into what’s bothering each person and seeing things from different angles, they can figure out how to fix things and stop the same issues from happening again.

6) “Calm down”

If there’s one phrase I hate hearing yet inadvertently use myself in arguments, it’s “Calm down.”

Asking someone to calm down can make them feel like you’re dismissing their feelings, and it can actually make things worse instead of better. It’s like pouring fuel on a fire sometimes. 

And here’s a tip: never tell anyone, especially someone in a position of authority, to calm down. It usually doesn’t end well.

You’ll be in a world of trouble. 

7) “You’re overreacting”

People with high emotional intelligence know that saying “You’re overreacting” can make the other person feel like their emotions aren’t being taken seriously.

Rather than brushing off someone’s emotions, they want to explore further to understand what’s really going on.

They know there’s usually more to the story than just the surface reaction. Plus, it can often just make things worse, put the other person on the defensive, and make the argument spiral out of control.

That’s why they prefer to put themselves in other person’s shoes

pic2176 People with high emotional intelligence never say these 13 phrases during an argument

8) “That’s just like you”

Avoiding personal attacks is essential, and saying, “That’s just like you,” can sound like putting someone in a box based on past behavior. Emotionally savvy folks know people are more complex than that.

For example, when a friend is late, they won’t say, “You’re always late, that’s just like you,” but instead say, “I noticed you were late again today. Is everything alright?”

As you can see, instead of labeling someone, they prefer to focus on what happened or what’s going on. They’re curious about why someone acted a certain way. 

9) “You’re being too sensitive”

Some people are more sensitive than others, and that’s okay. Instead of judging, emotionally smart folks try to understand where the other person is coming from, even if it’s different from their own experience.

They know that shutting someone down with “You’re being too sensitive” doesn’t solve anything. 

They’d rather encourage open communication, even if it means going through some emotional stuff.

Most importantly, using that phrase can hurt the other person’s feelings. Instead, they try to be understanding and supportive, even if they don’t fully get why the other person is upset.

10) “This is pointless”

Calling something “pointless” shuts down the conversation and prevents any potential resolution. It can make the other person feel like there’s no use in talking.

Even when things seem tough, they don’t throw in the towel. They believe there’s always a way to work through things and find a solution, so they keep at it.

Sometimes, even if things are pointless on the surface level, there’s still something to uncover on a deeper level and learn from it. 

11) “I don’t care”

Saying “I don’t care” is never a good idea. It usually makes things worse, as it shuts down the conversation and hurts the other person’s feelings, making the argument even bigger.

I can’t imagine saying this to someone I care about because I know how hurtful that would be. 

Although it would be a relatively easy way out of a discussion or a situation, the fallout would be massive and unnecessary. 

If I don’t have something smart to say, I mostly keep quiet. 

12) “It’s not a big deal,” and “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

Dismissing concerns like this shows a lack of understanding. And will again hurt someone’s feelings. 

Acknowledging their emotions, on the other hand, encourages a more in-depth discussion about the importance of the issue and its impact.

People with high emotional intelligence believe in keeping things respectful, even during disagreements. 

Instead of making the other person feel bad, they try to understand and find common ground.

And that’s what it’s all about. 

13) “Fine, do whatever you want”

What can I say about this one that you haven’t already figured out? Just like almost all others on this list, it dismisses other’s feelings and sounds incredibly uncaring and cold. 

It also shuts down the possibility of finding a mutually agreeable solution. For these and many other reasons, high EQ people won’t use them during arguments. 

And that’s the right approach that we should all be taking. 

Final thoughts

Ultimately, instead of shutting down conversations or making hurtful comments, we should all learn a thing or two from people with high emotional intelligence who aim to listen actively, acknowledge each other’s feelings, and work together to find solutions.

By approaching conflicts with patience, empathy, and a willingness to understand, we can grow healthier, more fulfilling relationships in our everyday lives.

Picture of Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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