People who were raised by emotionally intelligent parents tend to have these 7 unique traits

Our early experiences shape who we become as adults.

Children of emotionally unavailable parents can struggle to understand and express their emotions later in life, leading to difficulties in navigating adulthood.

Growing up in an environment where emotions are acknowledged and validated, on the other hand, gives you the tools to manage your inner life more effectively.

Which category do you fall in?

People who were raised by emotionally intelligent parents tend to have these 7 unique traits.

As long as you recognize yourself in the below, you’re one of the lucky ones.

1) Self-awareness

Children of emotionally intelligent parents are brought up in a home where their feelings aren’t minimized or dismissed.

They are allowed to feel not only joyful and content but also angry or frustrated.

As a result, they learn how to recognize and label their feelings correctly from an early age. This emotional literacy lays the foundation for self-awareness.

With time, they become more and more attuned to their internal states, making them better able to articulate their emotions.

Additionally, emotionally intelligent parents generally demonstrate self-awareness themselves.

They discuss their own emotions, reflect on their thoughts and behaviors, and take responsibility for their actions.

All in all, they set an excellent example for their kids, who grow up understanding the importance of introspection.

You won’t catch them struggling to pinpoint what they’re feeling later in life.

2) Emotional regulation

Besides correctly identifying their emotions, people who were raised by emotionally intelligent parents also know how to regulate them.

They rarely lose their calm, succumb to mood swings, or make a scene.

It’s because they’ve become adept at spotting triggers, and had plenty of time to come up with adequate coping mechanisms growing up.

From a young age, they learn that it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions and that they can manage them effectively.

They are raised in a safe space and are allowed to release pent-up feelings, which prevents them from escalating into unmanageable states.

I grew up being told that I needed to behave, stay quiet, and suppress negative feelings. I was supposed to be a good girl. It was the wisdom of the time.

Now in my 30s, the emotion I struggle with most is anger. For a long time, I had no idea how to express it constructively.  

Thankfully, I eventually figured out that physical exercise and listening to angry metal music work as efficient outlets.

At the very least, they’re better than crying and breaking things.

I call it progress.

3) Empathy

Emotionally intelligent parents often make it a point to model empathy to their kids.

Children see them expressing understanding and concern for others’ feelings. Consequently, they learn to emulate this behavior in their own relationships.

Not only that, but their parents prioritize teaching their kids the basics of empathy:

  • They actively encourage their children to consider the perspectives of others
  • They teach them that others’ emotions need to be validated too, just like their own
  • They enhance their children’s emotional vocabulary, so it’s easier for them to put themselves into others’ shoes later on
  • They foster a strong parent-child bond based on mutual respect, laying a great foundation for their kids to turn into compassionate adults

Ever met someone who effortlessly made you feel heard and valued?

They were raised by emotionally intelligent parents, for sure.

4) Self-compassion

ways parents encourage children self esteem People who were raised by emotionally intelligent parents tend to have these 7 unique traits

Emotionally intelligent people treat themselves with kindness even in the face of challenges.

They put in the work to know themselves, so they accept both their strengths and weaknesses.

Instead of beating themselves up when they stumble upon an obstacle, they adopt a more positive outlook on life, embracing a growth mentality.

When they have kids, they usually lead by example, modeling self-compassion to their little ones.

They start by teaching them the importance of taking care of their physical and emotional well-being. From there, they promote positive self-talk, emphasizing the importance of challenging negative beliefs.

Add a strong support system into the mix and you’ve got yourself the perfect cocktail for raising a self-assured adult.

That brings me to my next point.

5) Confidence

Given everything we’ve learned so far, there’s no wonder that people who were raised by emotionally intelligent parents tend to be more confident into adulthood.

Let’s do a quick recap:

  • They had positive role models
  • Their emotions were validated from an early age
  • They were showered with encouragement and support during their formative years
  • They were told to be kind to themselves
  • They always had a safe space to retreat to when times were tough

I’m not saying them becoming confident adults is a given, as everyone is different, but they had the ideal circumstances to grow up believing in themselves.

Their parents might also have pushed them to take risks and trust their capabilities, so they’re more likely to step out of their comfort zone each chance they get.

If you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum, you might have to work harder to develop confidence, as being your own cheerleader doesn’t come naturally to you.

Don’t worry! 

By celebrating your wins and treating yourself with tenderness, you’ll get there.

6) Resilience

Emotionally intelligent parents habitually reinforce their kids’ sense of self-worth.

This support helps children foster a resilient mindset, enabling them to bounce back from failure with greater determination.

Instead of sulking or wallowing whenever life throws them a curveball, they learn how important it is to get back on the horse.

With great perseverance come great rewards. But you have to stick with something for the long term to reap the benefits.

In contrast, emotionally immature parents may scold and criticize their kids when they make a mistake, not giving them enough opportunities to explore and nourish their abilities.

If your parents taught you how essential it is to be adaptable and helped you develop problem-solving skills, remember to thank them for their dedication.

Not everyone got the same treatment growing up.

7) Authenticity

When you are raised by emotionally immature parents, having to continually suppress your emotions can make you lose sight of who you are.

You don’t feel safe and supported in expressing yourself authentically growing up, so you might fear judgment and rejection to do so as an adult.

People who had emotionally intelligent parents, meanwhile, were taught that they are accepted for who they are, so they have no trouble showing up as their authentic selves.

They understand that no one is perfect, but that doesn’t make them any less worthy of love.

Learning this valuable lesson on your own can take time and patience.

Final thoughts

If you were raised by parents who weren’t particularly in touch with their feelings you might struggle with low self-esteem and emotional insecurity as an adult.

Even though you’ve been dealt a tough hand, you don’t have to become complacent.

There are things you can do to boost your emotional intelligence.

Start by practicing mindfulness and self-reflection to understand your triggers and patterns of behavior.  

Once you become better at regulating your emotions, work on your empathy.

Who we are isn’t set in stone.

Something to keep in mind as you embark on this exciting journey of self-improvement. 

Picture of Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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