People who take their partners for granted often display these 7 behaviors

Have you ever wondered whether your partner is taking you for granted? Do they treat you a different way than how you treat them? Are you unsure if you’re in a one-sided relationship?

People who take their partners for granted often display certain behaviors that can be spotted a mile away. So read on to find out what they are.

1) Lack of appreciation

Do you feel like you always appreciate your partner when they do something nice, but they never reciprocate?

Are you always cleaning up after them only to have them leave the empty toilet paper roll on the floor next to the bin, again? 

A lack of appreciation for the little things can signify that your partner might be taking advantage of your good nature.

So what can you do about this? 

  • Communicate your feelings
  • Express your needs clearly and specifically
  • Express gratitude
  • Be patient
  • Show them more appreciation (model the behavior you want to see)

Hopefully sooner rather than later you might see some changes and a bit more appreciation.

2) Neglecting quality time

When your partner neglects quality time with you how do you feel? I know when this happens to me, I feel like I’m not a priority. And it’s not a nice way to live.

If you’re always going out of your way to spend time with your partner, but they are only spending time with you when it suits them, they are taking your time and your love for granted. They’re saying that you’re second best.

It can also become embarrassing when other people notice these things too. So if you want things to turn around there are a couple of things you can do, depending on your partner.

One thing I had to start doing was not being available all the time. I was always at my partner’s beck and call, but he was not for me. Then I realized he missed me more when I wasn’t always readily available. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

Or, if you are able, sit your partner down and just tell them how you feel about it and explain what you need. Try to keep the conversation positive and probably don’t mention the whole “taking me for granted” thing as this can be triggering.

3) Breaking promises

How disappointing is it when your partner promises that you’ll go and do something and then they change their mind because they don’t feel like doing it anymore? 

It got so bad for me that I stopped even believing that we would do any of the things he mentioned.

When someone is making and breaking promises they are stringing you along. You’re like that donkey with the carrot hanging in front of it that it never gets to eat. And we all know the other name for a donkey. Yeah, I felt like one of those too.

But don’t worry, not all is lost. Maybe we can help turn this bad habit around and finally get that Fiji holiday or camping trip we’ve been waiting for.

An article about broken promises explains that we need to be assertive with our partners when we think they have broken a promise. Ashley Thorn says in the article that we need to, “Let them know what promise you feel has been broken, why you view it as broken, how it made you feel, and what you’d like to see be different.”

He also explains why people might break promises in the first place. So we also need to be understanding and look at the whole picture before we get upset about certain broken promises.

4) Taking without giving

Some people are givers and are happy to help out and do things for their partners. But, it has to go both ways or the giver may start to resent the taker and the taker will begin to expect the kind gestures all the time.

I’m always happy to help my partner out. We’ve been on holiday together for a while now and are often on different sleep schedules. When I wake up, I’m hungry so I’ll pop out and eat breakfast at my favorite cafe and then get something to bring him back.

I thought this was fine until it started to become expected. He wouldn’t bother to get up because he knew I’d bring him something back for breakfast, and sometimes complained when it wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

I had to change my ways or I’d become his delivery driver for the next few months. 

If you find that there is something you didn’t mind doing for your partner but now they are expecting it, you only need to stop for a short while before they realize how much you were helping them. 

I’ve even noticed that my partner will offer to go and get me things when he’s going out, or bring me something back without me even asking now. 

5) Repeated mistakes

pic2292 People who take their partners for granted often display these 7 behaviors

Is your partner constantly apologizing for the same mistakes? Does that make you feel frustrated? Unloved? Taken for granted?

These bad habits are a sign of disrespect because it’s very clear that they are not trying to change their bad behavior. 

This is another area where communication is key. But kind communication as opposed to nagging (as much as you may feel like it!). 

It’s also really important to identify the root cause. There is a great article that says that if you find out the underlying issue then you’re more likely to figure out how to get them to change their behavior by working together to come up with some strategies for success.

The article goes on to say that you should also;

  • Set clear expectations and boundaries
  • Develop a plan for change
  • Offer support and encouragement
  • Seek professional help (if necessary)
  • Practice forgiveness and empathy
  • Monitor and evaluate progress
  • Maintain your own self-care and well-being

And finally, once you’ve made it through all of these points, recognize when it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

6) Prioritizing others

To everyone else, my ex was the kindest, most giving person in the world. But to me, I felt like I was pushed to the side, the last priority. He would drop anything to help someone he didn’t know, but make me wait because he was playing a game.

Have you ever felt second place to the rest of the world in a relationship? It’s not a nice feeling. He took me for granted. He thought I’d always be there for him, and when I finally couldn’t handle it anymore and I broke it off he didn’t know what to do.

I should have spoken more clearly about what I needed, and done what I mentioned above with my current partner, by not always giving him the time he wanted every single time he asked for it. I should have given him a tiny taste of his own medicine and explained that I didn’t want to be second best anymore.

Our partner should be (along with ourselves and our children obviously) our number one priority. They’re our rock, they’re who we lean on, and so when we prioritize others instead we are disrespecting them and all they do for us.

7) Disrespect 

Speaking of disrespect. It comes in all shapes and sizes, but the worst is public disrespect as it can be quite embarrassing. 

Have you ever had your partner say something in front of your friends or family that was just plain rude? If it happens often and it’s not just the way your partner talks to everyone (a whole other story) then they are probably taking your relationship and your passiveness for granted. 

If someone is your partner, they should be your equal, so there shouldn’t be room for disrespect.

The thing is however, disrespect looks different to everyone. Each culture, religion, and family thinks that showing respect looks a certain way. So before losing it with your partner, sit down and tell them how you would like to be respected by them and ask them how they would like you to treat them in return.

I remember dating a guy from another culture in another country and we both had very different views on respect. I disrespected him without even realizing it as did he to me. We eventually had to have a conversation about it because both thought the other was being rude. In this case, I found the difference too much and ultimately the relationship ended

You both have to be on the same page in terms of what respect looks like or you may feel you’re being taken for granted when the other person thinks that the way they are treating you is ok.

However, if they know where you stand and continue to act in a way that you don’t like. Then you’re definitely being taken for a ride.

Louisa Lopez

Louisa Lopez

Louisa is writer, wellbeing coach, and world traveler, with a Masters in Social Anthropology. She is fascinated by people, psychology, spirituality and exploring psychedelics for personal growth and healing. She’s passionate about helping people and has been giving empowering advice professionally for over 10 years using the tarot. Louisa loves magical adventures and can often be found on a remote jungle island with her dogs. You can connect with her on Twitter: @StormJewel

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.