People who pretend to be into you, but are not, often display these 8 behaviors

There’s a big difference between someone who’s really into you and someone who’s just pretending.

The difference lies in the truth of their actions, not just their words. When someone is pretending, they’re trying to make you believe they’re interested when in reality, they’re not.

Recognizing these pretenders can be tricky, but don’t worry, there are telltale signs that can help you spot them.

In this article, we will uncover the 8 behaviors often displayed by people who pretend to be into you but are not. By the end of it, you’ll be able to separate the genuine from the fake. So, let’s dive right in.

1) They’re inconsistent

Inconsistency is a common trait in people who aren’t genuinely into you. This inconsistency can manifest in various ways.

For instance, they can be incredibly attentive and affectionate one day, and distant the next. Or they may make promises and plans, only to forget or cancel them without a sound reason.

People who genuinely care about you strive for consistency because they value the relationship. But those who are just pretending often struggle to maintain a consistent act.

It can be challenging to spot this behavior, especially when you’re emotionally involved. But if you notice a pattern of inconsistency, it might be a sign that the person is not really into you.

Remember, actions speak louder than words. So don’t just listen to what they say, pay attention to what they do as well.

2) They avoid deep conversations

People pretending to be into you often shy away from deep, meaningful conversations. They might chat about surface-level topics like movies or weather, but when it comes to personal feelings or the future, they become vague or change the subject.

I remember a past relationship where this was the case. We could talk for hours about our favorite TV shows or the latest sports game, but as soon as the conversation shifted to something more personal like our dreams, fears, or plans for the future, he would suddenly become very evasive.

Looking back, I realize it was because he wasn’t truly invested in the relationship and didn’t want to establish that deeper emotional connection. It was a clear sign that he was merely pretending to be into me.

So, if you’re finding it hard to connect on a deeper level with someone, it could be a sign they’re not genuinely into you.

3) They don’t introduce you to their friends or family

When someone is genuinely into you, they’ll eventually want to introduce you to the important people in their life. It’s a sign that they’re proud to be with you and they want to share their world with you.

However, people who aren’t into you often keep you separate from their social and family circles. It’s mainly because they don’t see a long-term future with you. According to relationship experts, avoiding introductions like these can be an indicator that the person sees the relationship as temporary.

So if you’ve been dating for a while and still haven’t met any of their friends or family, it could be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as they claim to be.

4) They’re always busy

We all have busy lives, but if someone is genuinely into you, they’ll make time for you. It’s as simple as that.

However, if the person you’re interested in always seems to be too busy to spend time with you, it might be a sign they’re not as into you as they say.

They might be constantly delaying plans, cancelling at the last minute, or they may just seem unavailable most of the time.

This behavior could indicate that they’re not prioritizing you or the relationship. Remember, we make time for the things and people we truly care about. If they’re always too busy for you, it’s a sign they might just be pretending to be into you.

5) They don’t show empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is the cornerstone of any genuine relationship. It shows that someone values your emotions and experiences.

However, people pretending to be into you often don’t exhibit empathy. They might seem disinterested when you share your feelings, or dismissive when you express your concerns.

It’s a heartbreaking experience when you open up to someone, only to have your feelings brushed aside or ignored. This lack of empathy is a clear sign that they’re not genuinely invested in you or the relationship.

Remember, everyone deserves a partner who listens, understands, and validates their feelings. Don’t settle for less.

6) They’re not interested in your life

When someone is truly into you, they show a genuine interest in your life. They want to know about your day, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, and even the mundane details.

But, in my experience, people who are pretending to be into you often don’t show this level of interest. I once dated someone who would always talk about himself and his life, but he never seemed genuinely interested in mine. He would rarely ask about my day or my feelings, and when I shared something about myself, he’d quickly steer the conversation back to him.

This self-centeredness was a clear sign that he wasn’t really into me. So, if you find that the person you’re dating doesn’t show much interest in your life, it might be a sign that they’re pretending to be into you.

7) They don’t make an effort to resolve conflicts

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. What matters is how you handle it. Those who are genuinely into you will make an effort to resolve conflicts, because they value the relationship.

However, people pretending to be into you often avoid dealing with conflicts. They might ignore the issue, change the subject, or even become defensive instead of addressing the problem.

An unwillingness to resolve conflicts can be a sign that they’re not genuinely invested in the relationship. Remember, a person who truly cares about you will want to fix what’s broken, not ignore it.

8) They don’t reciprocate your feelings

The most significant sign that someone is pretending to be into you is if they don’t reciprocate your feelings. When you express your love or affection, they might avoid responding in kind, or they may respond in a way that feels insincere.

Love is a two-way street. If you constantly feel like you’re the one giving more in the relationship, it might be because they’re not genuinely into you. Remember, you deserve someone who loves and appreciates you just as much as you love and appreciate them.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-respect

Understanding the behaviors of those who pretend to be into you, while painful, is a vital step in self-respect and self-protection.

At the end of the day, you deserve someone who is genuinely into you, someone who values you, respects you, and reciprocates your feelings. Recognizing these signs of inauthentic interest allows you to make informed decisions about your relationships.

American author Wayne Dyer once said, “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” These words hold true especially in situations like this.

So take these points into consideration, reflect on your relationships, and always remember to value yourself. Because when it comes to love and relationships, you should never have to settle for less than genuine interest and respect.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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