People who lack confidence in their appearance often display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

Have you ever found yourself not liking how you look? I have. And I’m sure that that resonates with a lot of people, too.

Our relationship with our self-image is a complicated one. Personally, some days I feel like *the* most attractive person ever.

Other days, I feel like a dumpster fire. It’s a cycle that a lot of us are familiar with, with some having more good or bad days. 

And for me, this feeling does come and go. I can’t say the same for everyone.

Sadly, there are a lot of people who are constantly not confident with how they look. And there are telling signs when it has become persistent.

Here are 8 behaviors that people who lack confidence in their appearance often display—without even realizing it.

1) They are constantly comparing themselves to others

Whoever coined “There is no harm without comparison.” was enviably wise. 

It’s true, isn’t it? Comparison breeds discontent.

And a lot of us are guilty of this, maybe even without meaning to. Maybe it could even just be a passing thought.

However, a person who lacks confidence in their appearance will be more prone to this habit of comparison

Why? Because everyone else will seem more. 

More beautiful, sexier, thinner, curvier, have clearer skin, have bigger muscles, a trimmer waist, bigger hips, have better outfits, have better aesthetics, etc. etc. 

When there are parts of yourself that you don’t like or parts of yourself that you want to change, there’s always going to be something about others that you’ll find comparison to.

You’ll find yourself wanting what others have because your own is not up to your standards.

Exhausting, isn’t it? The constant comparison. The constant chasing of what you think you should be. 

2) They have people-pleasing tendencies

People who lack confidence in their looks can have people-pleasing tendencies. 

It’s an overcompensating thing. They feel replaceable (spoiler: that’s #6 on this list) when they feel insecure. 

So they try to please others. They compensate for their “shortcomings”—which aren’t shortcomings at all, tbh. 

3) They don’t accept or have trouble accepting compliments

Do you remember the last time you received a compliment? How did you react? 

Did you deflect it? Did you graciously accept it? Do you remember what it was about?

I ask this because I noticed that people who are not confident in how they look will have trouble accepting a compliment.

They won’t believe you if you tell them they’re beautiful. They have long believed they are not. 

They might think you’re humoring them or just trying to be nice. 

Their self-image has been so affected by their lack of confidence that even compliments outside of how they look might be burdensome to accept, too. 

4) They’re prone to self-doubt

“Am I worth this?” 

“Is someone like me deserving of this?”

“What can I do to be more worthy?”

People who have a negative self-image second guess themselves a lot, they engage a lot in self-doubt

“Worth” starts getting called into question. “Worth” starts hinging on how silent the self-doubt is that day. “Worth” starts being conditional instead of inherent. 

5) They’re never content about how they look

Before anything else, let me say this, I have no issue with people constantly changing how they look.

I’m into that, I think that’s a matter of self-expression and identity. Your body, your rules.

What I have an issue with is the motivation behind it. I think that’s where the conversation needs to happen.

If your ONLY driving force to constantly change yourself is because you’re never content in who you are and how you look, ask yourself, where does that end?

When do you end that chase? Is it still a matter of evolving or just discontent that will never ever go away? 

Where do you draw the line? 

6) They feel easily replaceable in relationships 

People who aren’t confident in their appearance can feel easily replaceable in relationships.

They might feel like their partners can find someone better—more attractive, more this, or more that. Just… more. 

And that they can find them quickly and easily. 

And this feeling of being easily replaceable and the people-pleasing tendencies go hand in hand. 

Someone can do whatever they can just to keep their partners, even at the cost of their dignity, just because they think they’re easily replaceable. 

7) They engage in negative self-talk

How we talk to ourselves is so important. I cannot stress this enough.

How we talk to ourselves could both be a reflection and a standard of how we let other people talk to us. 

People who lack confidence will have trouble with this, they might not even notice it happening. 

I know I didn’t, and I still catch myself slipping into this bad habit from time to time. However, I have learned to be more mindful. I have learned to be kinder to myself.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s difficult, but there are advantages.

Benefits of positive self-talk

And according to Healthdirect Australia, there are benefits to positive self-talk, too.

Some of these are:

  • It can improve self-esteem
  • It can improve your body image
  • It can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and personality disorders
  • It can make you feel more in control of your life
  • It can calm you

8) They avoid the spotlight

Not everyone is made for the spotlight, but we can’t always hide from it. 

If someone is not confident about how they look, the spotlight (both literal and figurative) will feel like an enemy. 

It will feel like pressure. It will feel like an obstacle. 

With all those eyes looking at you? The “audience” will feel less like spectators and more like a jury. 

People who lack confidence in their image will avoid the spotlight, they will avoid being looked at, they will avoid being judged, they will avoid rejection. 

At the very least, they will try. 

A little note before you go

In my many years on this journey of self-love and self-acceptance, I’ve learned this: 

Other people are too busy with their own problems to pay attention to me. 

It seems harsh but it really helped. 

I spent way too much time obsessing over other people’s opinions about how I look and who I am that it skewed my perception of myself. 

But you know what? I’m beautiful. My definition of beauty has changed throughout the years, it is no longer the shallow definition of my youth.

It took a really long while though, not gonna lie. And I still have bad days where calling myself beautiful feels unnatural.

And on those days that I feel like a dumpster fire, I simply fake it ‘til I make it, because these kinds of days are tough. (Honestly, if it works for Rihanna, it works for me)

But ooh boy, when the good days come, they are glorious. I promise you, they are. 

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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