People who lack authenticity often display these 11 behaviors (without realizing it)

Do humans want to be genuine?

Or just likable?

Do we want to be self-aware? 

Or simply invincible?

Today, we are diving into the subtle and often unnoticed signs of inauthenticity. Because we could all use a little clarity to help us get aligned, sometimes.

Not to mention, it’s human to be authentic just as it is to be inauthentic. It’s these fluctuations that help us grow.

Let’s cut to the chase, here are 11 behaviors that people who lack authenticity often display without realizing.

1) They are passive-aggressive

Passive-aggression is a shield for inauthentic and emotionally immature people.

It keeps them from having to speak up while avoiding looking like the “bad guy.”

I, for one, have been guilty of this because when I was younger, I took everything a little too personally.

Or maybe too seriously.

In my mind, I genuinely thought someone was being passive-aggressive first.

After I took accountability, it became so much clearer that I have a lot more power in the way I interact with people. 

I just need to speak with integrity, honesty, and respect – everything else is not under my control or responsibility.

2) They are emotionally manipulative

Emotional manipulation can try to hide itself in plain sight through excessive flattery or surface-level gestures.

Now, I’m not saying that offering to do favors for others is definitely inauthentic. I just mean that quantity will never get one over quality when it comes to building deep bonds.

In a way that might fly under the radar, they will offer to buy you things and give you lots of quick attention

But they won’t check up on you or offer any real support because that would require emotional labor and consistency.

Which are all things that authentic people effortlessly give.

3) They have poor emotional regulation

The correlation between authenticity and emotional regulation can be drawn in the way we measure emotional intelligence.

As in, if you are acting from a place of reactivity, you are not understanding everything that you are feeling fully.

And how could you say that you are being authentic if you aren’t aligned with what you truly mean to express?

For example, a person might resort to drinking every time they are stressed, instead of sitting with the feeling and finding out what they truly need at that moment.

Most likely, it’s emotional support from someone they trust, and et cetera.

Self-medicating might create the illusion that they are getting their needs met. But because they are dodging the opportunity to grow, their authenticity suffers.

4) They act from a lack mindset

A lack mindset happens anytime a person acts from a place of fear.

They are doing things in order to avoid certain outcomes instead of doing what they truly want to do.

For example, a lot of people who seek external validation don’t realize it’s caused by a lack mindset.

They might ask for advice often, and have a support system that doesn’t really allow them to be independent thinkers.

Or feelers!

While it’s important to have a support system, I believe that being able to decide independently is necessary for you to explore who you truly are.

Which at the end of the day, is what drives authenticity forward and allows it to grow with you.

5) They don’t prioritize themselves

Self-destruction is an overt form of someone not prioritizing themselves.

On the other hand, people can put their own emotions, thoughts and beliefs on the back burner by simply not taking the time to reflect on them.

So even though a person can act from a place of authenticity from one moment, it’s a practice that must be kept.

I really experienced this recently when I was unfortunately knocked off my game and routine because of some health issues.

And I really felt lost and didn’t feel like I was in alignment with myself anymore. It took some time but I’m slowly bouncing back.

It’s hard to feel authentic when you don’t feel like yourself. 

So with that in mind, I’d say that taking care of yourself is the most authentic thing an authentic person can do.

pic2004 People who lack authenticity often display these 11 behaviors (without realizing it)

6) They assume roles in social spaces

I can read the room, but I also know it’s not necessary to fit in to make everyone happy.

And as someone who once struggled with social anxiety, I’ve come to learn that if I am expected to conform to the point of being stressed, those social environments are not for me.

That’s why it’s so important to listen to your gut and do what’s best for you.

You will be able to tell if someone has a “persona” based on how they respond when things don’t go their own way.

Or on the other side of the spectrum, people who assume passive roles will have a hard time forming opinions or keeping their composure in the face of adversity.

As in, they’ll see confrontations as last resorts instead of seeing them as constructive moments for deeper understanding.

7) They are non-confrontational

They likely call themselves the “peace-keeper” and will avoid taking sides.

Because some people view disagreements as a fault in their own personality. Therefore, their identity will likely be rooted in how “fair” they are.

But the truth is, conflicts and differences can be pivotal points for people to cultivate a deeper understanding of certain situations.

To get the big picture!

For example, a white person being uncomfortable with hearing about a Black person’s experiences will take the side of the oppressor in the name of “keeping the peace.”

In doing so, they avoid growing a deeper empathy for others whose experiences are outside of their norm – it’s complacency, not peace.

So even if it’s uncomfortable, owning that feeling and showing up anyway will help you foster genuine connections.

8) They are way too concerned with their image

In the digital age of influencers and content creators, I feel as though this level of self-consciousness and vanity has become normalized.

Mainly because it’s what makes people money. In general, people are more likely to overlook certain qualities in people if it’s related to their career. 

Because we all need to make a living, right?

Nevertheless, this article is here for a reason. And it’s for those who want to learn how to become more authentic.

At the end of the day, life goes on. Meaning it’s much bigger than the careers we choose. 

So while there’s definitely levels to authenticity, don’t worry so much about things that are only skin deep and temporary.

9) They surround themselves with enablers

I knew that I was becoming a more authentic person without initially realizing, when I stopped wanting the people around me to make me feel better.

Don’t get me wrong, I think your close relationships should still comfort you.

But now I value being kept accountable even if it hurts my ego because those are the real blessings.

So without realizing, inauthentic people might find themselves with others who struggle with inauthenticity as well.

When you think about it, it’s just a lack of commitment to one’s integrity. 

And if you want to remain loyal without its faults, you have to keep that balance by sticking to your priorities rather than what’s comfortable.

10) They are attached to what is comfortable

I can tell someone is inauthentic from a mile away, by looking at their relationship to change.

This can include how they respond to how others change.

Like I mentioned before about how someone might self-soothe using destructive methods, staying comfortable will keep you from getting in touch with your true needs.

Because if change is knocking on your door, it’s because you wanted and needed it! 

For me, shifting my focus from my fear-based thoughts and practice focusing on the long-term picture changed my life. Your attachments will be easier to break once you gain control of your own mind.

11) They don’t consider long-term consequences

I like to believe that authenticity is rooted in self-love.

If someone’s self-love is shallow and only involves providing themselves with material things, their authenticity will be just as shallow.

However, someone who thinks deeply and considers the long-term consequences is able to love themselves enough to sit with a larger portion of the unknown.

It’s their way of saying, “Yeah, having a plan is scary because it might not work out – but I know I’m worth the try.”

That to me, says that their relationship with themselves is so much stronger.

Therefore if someone is self-destructive or too preoccupied to consider their future, I know they’re not as authentic as they appear to be.

Authenticity helps us feel at home in our own bodies and lives.

And it can be hard to maintain it because the very nature of authenticity calls you to change or pivot as needed.

With all that’s going on in our lives with our relationships, work, and everything else, it’s hard to embrace those calls to question things.

So I want to end this on a note that you should take this article as a guide, not a warning. 

To sit with your discomfort, instead of reacting to them with self-critical energies. And always take care of your well-being. 

Because change doesn’t need to be immediate, and the best ones are gradual.

Danielle Jung

Danielle Jung

I’m like if a girl was an exorcist. I do a lot of things and one of those things happens to be writing on the internet about being human. And how much I love and how much I hate it.

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