People who have mastered the art of being alone have usually cultivated these 12 habits

“No man is an island.”

“People need people.”

“Magic happens outside your comfort zone.”

We live in a society where socialization is highly encouraged, and being a “loner”, a “hermit”, or a “lone wolf” is frowned upon.

But while total isolation is of course unhealthy, studies show that being alone has many benefits. 

By being alone more often, you’re bound to develop life-changing habits that can enrich your life.

Here are 12 habits that lone wolves usually cultivate.

1) Being self-reliant

Lone wolves have the luxury to be alone because, well…they can!

They love solitude so they make it a point that they’re self-reliant.  They know how to take care of themselves from head to toe, from their finances to their mental health to their household chores.

In other words, they don’t need others that much. 

And even if they do need them on some occasions, they’d rather figure things out on their own first.

When something goes wrong in the kitchen, for example, they won’t quickly call mom. Instead, they’d google what’s up and try to fix things on their own first.

2) Saying “No” to things that don’t bring them joy

Most people-pleasers are the way they are because they want to be liked— to be everyone’s favorite friend, aunt, or neighbor.

Lone wolves are not people-pleasers. If they don’t want to do something, they won’t hesitate to say “No”.

And I’m not just talking about them saying “no” to parties, they say no to anything they don’t want to do.

That’s because they don’t care if they won’t impress anyone. In fact, they don’t even care if they disappoint everyone!

And that’s because…again, they don’t need people.

It doesn’t mean they’re assholes—not at all. It just means is that they have less f*cks to give on things that they truly don’t find important.

3) Appreciating solitude

There are some people who are not good at being alone—they get lonely and they pity themselves. 

They would then ask “What’s wrong with me?” everytime they’re alone on the times they feel like they shouldn’t be.

And then there are those who’ve mastered the art of being alone. They’re the ones who have no issues being alone. They truly appreciate solitude and even thank the Universe for supplying them with plenty of it.

When they’re home alone on weekends, they’d feel totally relaxed. They’d enjoy the silence and feel relieved that no one’s bothering them. Solitude for them is luxury, and they enjoy every minute of it.

4) Not giving a damn about social norms

Society wants us to be social.

If someone just sits in the corner while everyone’s having fun, they’d all feel uneasy and encourage that person to join.

If someone eats alone at a restaurant, people assume they’re sad.

People who’ve mastered the art of being alone don’t care how society wants people to act. They don’t even think about any of that!

They’ll eat alone if they want to. They’ll go to the cinema alone if no one wants to join them. And they’ll even go dancing in the club solo if they’re in the mood.

5) Prioritizing themselves

If they want to go home and have some me-time, they won’t feel guilty leaving a party early.

And if they have some guests over and they want some privacy, they’d say so. They’d say “Hey guys, I have something to do after lunch, ok? So that means you have to go home after.”

Of course, they’d say it in the nicest way possible. They know that it doesn’t make them selfish for honoring themselves and what they need.

authentic person 1 People who have mastered the art of being alone have usually cultivated these 12 habits

6) Enjoying their own company

They enjoy being alone because (surprise, surprise)—they enjoy their own company so much.

They laugh and cry and talk to themselves like they’re their own best friend. Sometimes, they even date themselves by going alone to a fancy restaurant.

The ones who really love being alone don’t ever get bored because they feel like they’re never truly alone.

7) Deep thinking

Those who have a lot of time being alone are more prone to introspection and deep thinking.

They don’t just ask “What is this all about?”. They dig deeper by asking “What is this really all about?”

And once they’re somewhat satisfied with their answer, they try to question it!

While people say that “too much thinking” is bad, those who have mastered the art of being alone actually find pleasure in it.

When they’re alone, there’s less noise, less distractions…and this means more time to listen to what’s in one’s mind and heart.

8) Observing the world around them

We see things more clearly and feel things more strongly when we’re alone. This is the reason why I enjoy traveling solo. 

When there’s no one talking beside me, I can just focus on what’s in front of me and experience life fully.

People who have mastered the art of being alone are master observers.  They’re the poets, the philosophers, the artists who want to just sit back and pay attention to life.

9) Validating themselves

They don’t look for external validation because they already know they’re awesome.

So instead of dressing up so others would say “Wow, you really look pretty!”, they’d dress up the way they like because they already know they’re pretty.

Don’t get me wrong. Looking for validation is totally normal. It doesn’t mean we’re insecure if we want it from time to time.

But people who’ve mastered the art of being alone really don’t have any need for it. And this makes them superhuman.

To them, it’s simple: why look outward when you can just look inward?

10) Being brutally honest with themselves

Yes, they know how to validate themselves.  They’ll say things like “you’re smart”, “you’re beautiful”…

But they’re not delusional! They do acknowledge their strengths but they’re not blind to their flaws.

So they tell themselves “You’re smart but you should also read more history books” or “You’re beautiful but you’re not conventionally pretty.

In other words, they’re self-aware. And it doesn’t end there.

They also don’t shield themselves from harsh truths. If there’s something they have to confront, they’ll do it without hesitation.

They don’t bullshit themselves just to feel good. They know they have no choice but to be brutally honest with themselves.

After all, no one else can do that for them.

11) Shutting down FOMO

All of us have FOMO, but those who have mastered the art of being alone have managed to not get affected by them.

If their friends are hanging out at the nearby pub, it’s not so challenging for them to say “sorry, next time” if there’s something they have to do…or you know, if they want to just be alone.

They don’t feel bad about their decisions to not show up in many seemingly important events because they know what’s more important to them.

You rarely hear them say “Man, I wish I went to the party” because they really don’t give a damn about missing out on some things.

12) Being content 

They don’t need a lot to be happy. They generally don’t have any need for constant interaction, for heated intellectual conversations, for regular touch.

That’s because they’re just happy with what they have and who they are. They always count their blessings and see the good.

Because of this, you often see them genuinely happy while they do things all by themselves—whether they’re doing their grocery shopping or sitting all alone in the park.

In their head, they’re saying “I’m happy with who I am. And I’m happy right here, right now.”

Final thoughts

With the profound benefits of solitude, the world would surely become a better place if we all can learn to just sit alone in peace.

First, we all should stop equating alone-ness with loneliness and sadness. 

You can be alone and absolutely happy!

Balzac said “Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell you that solitude is fine.”

So let me be that person to tell you that yes, you can be as alone as you want. Savor it, be proud of it…and enjoy your freedom!

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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