We all have dreams. But there’s a stark difference between dreaming big and having the ambition to make those dreams a reality.
This difference often traces back to our childhood experiences.
People who dream big, yet lack the drive to act, may share similar experiences from their youth that have shaped their mindset.
In this article, I am going to delve into these 8 common experiences that might have led dreamers to fall short in the ambition department. You might find bits of your own story reflected here, or you might gain a new understanding of why some folks find it hard to bridge the gap between dreams and reality.
Let’s unpack this together.
1) Overpraised as a child
We all love a little praise, don’t we? It feels good to be recognized and appreciated.
But here’s the catch. When praise was served on a silver platter during childhood, regardless of effort or achievement, it can set unrealistic expectations.
Children who were constantly praised may grow up expecting success to come easily. They dream big, but they’ve been conditioned to believe that dreams come true without much sweat and grind.
This could lead to a lack of ambition, a lack of the drive needed to fight for their dreams. After all, they were taught to expect the world to hand them what they want on a platter.
Remember, praise is powerful, but only when it’s earned. Unearned praise breeds complacency, not ambition.
2) Lack of role models growing up
Growing up, I always had big dreams. I dreamt of becoming a writer, with my words reaching millions of people around the world.
However, I didn’t really have any role models in my life who were living that dream. My parents were hard workers, but they were caught up in jobs they didn’t particularly enjoy. My teachers were great, but none of them were writers.
In hindsight, I realize how this lack of role models affected my ambition. Without someone to look up to, someone who was living the life I dreamt of, it was hard to see how my dreams could become a reality. It’s like trying to navigate a path without a compass.
This isn’t to say that it’s impossible to achieve your dreams without a role model. But having someone who embodies what you aspire to be can provide that extra push of motivation and ambition that’s often needed to make big dreams come true.
3) Absence of failure in early life
While it’s often uncomfortable and disappointing, failure is a crucial part of growth. Research shows that past adversity can help train us to persevere and to manage stress better.
Children who sail through their early years without facing significant challenges may grow up with big dreams, but are often ill-equipped to handle setbacks. They may lack the resilience and grit required to push through obstacles and make their dreams a reality.
The fear of failure then becomes a barrier, stifling their ambition to pursue their dreams. In contrast, those who have tasted failure understand that it’s not the end of the world, but a stepping stone towards success.
4) Living in a comfortable bubble
Growing up in a highly protected and comfortable environment can sometimes lead to a lack of ambition. Children who are overprotected might not experience the necessary challenges and hardships that stoke the fire of ambition.
When everything is provided and problems are instantly solved by parents or caregivers, children may develop a sense of entitlement. They dream big, but they expect those dreams to be handed to them without much effort.
These individuals can find it hard to muster the drive to strive, struggle and sacrifice for their dreams because they are used to comfort and convenience. The real world, with its trials and tribulations, can then seem overwhelming, leading to a lack of action towards achieving their dreams.
5) Discouraged from pursuing passions
Sometimes, the seeds of ambition are sown by the passions we develop early in life. But what happens when these passions are discouraged?
Perhaps you loved painting as a child, but were told it’s not a ‘real job’. Maybe you had a flair for dance, but were pushed towards more ‘practical’ pursuits.
When children are discouraged from following their passions, they may start to believe that their dreams are unachievable. They dream big, but without the encouragement to pursue what they love, their ambition dwindles.
Let’s remind ourselves that every dream is valid. And every passion, big or small, can ignite the spark of ambition needed to turn these dreams into reality.
6) Struggling with self-doubt
As a child, I was often the quiet one in the room. I had a vibrant world inside my head, full of big dreams and grand ideas. But when it came to expressing these dreams, self-doubt would creep in.
“Will they laugh at me?” “What if they think it’s silly?” These questions would swirl around in my mind, holding me back.
This struggle with self-doubt can lead to a lack of ambition. When you doubt your abilities, it’s hard to muster up the courage to chase your dreams. You dream big, but the fear of judgment or ridicule can keep you from taking the necessary steps towards those dreams.
The key is to understand that self-doubt is part of being human. It’s okay to be vulnerable and make mistakes. In fact, it’s through these mistakes that we learn and grow.
7) Raised in an environment of instant gratification
We live in an era of immediate gratification. With just a click, we can have almost anything we want – be it a meal, a movie, or even a date.
Children who grow up in such an environment may develop the expectation that the world works on their timeline. They dream big, but the concept of investing time and effort to achieve those dreams might seem alien to them.
After all, they’re used to getting what they want instantly. So when they realize their dreams require hard work and patience, their ambition might take a hit.
The ability to delay gratification is a crucial life skill. It helps foster resilience, perseverance, and ultimately, the ambition to work towards long-term goals.
8) Lack of self-awareness
The most critical factor that can affect ambition is a lack of self-awareness. Those who don’t know their strengths, weaknesses, and passions may find it hard to muster the drive to chase their dreams.
Without a strong sense of self, even the most captivating dreams can feel distant and unattainable. It’s like trying to navigate through a dense forest without a compass.
Self-awareness is the compass that guides us towards our dreams. It helps us understand what we truly want, what we’re good at, and where we need to improve. It’s the foundation upon which ambition is built.
Knowing oneself is not just about introspection; it’s about exploration. It’s about daring to step out of your comfort zone, trying new things, making mistakes, and learning from them. It’s about discovering who you truly are and what you genuinely want. And it’s this self-discovery that fuels ambition and propels us towards our dreams.
Final reflection: It’s all part of the journey
The journey from dreams to reality is deeply personal. It’s filled with unique experiences, challenges, and growth opportunities.
Some of us may recognize our own story in these eight experiences. Others may gain new insights into why they, or someone they know, might dream big but struggle with the ambition to make those dreams a reality.
The psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” This quote resonates powerfully here.
Recognizing these experiences isn’t about assigning blame or dwelling on the past. Instead, it’s about understanding how our past shapes us and using this knowledge to foster change and growth.
If you’ve ever felt stuck between your big dreams and a lack of ambition, remember that it’s never too late to learn, evolve, and change. You have the power to redefine your narrative, stir up your ambition, and turn those dreams into reality.
Remember, it’s all part of the journey. And every step of this journey is an opportunity for growth.
