People who exude confidence always do these 12 things (without realizing it)

Confidence isn’t just a state of mind, it’s a behavior.

We not only gain other people’s respect by showing confidence but we also build it within ourselves in the process.

It’s an action that we learn, not a feeling we’re simply born with. And by consciously displaying more of it, we can grow our self-belief at the same time.

Some people just seem to walk into a room like they own it, and not in an arrogant way either.

Their confidence has all eyes on them for all the right reasons.

There’s a lot we can learn from those people around us who always appear so self-assured.

People who exude confidence always do these 12 things (without realizing it)…

1) They speak clearly, slowly, and concisely

I remember once I had to give a speech, and I was super nervous about it.

To practice, I decided to record myself and listen back, just to check how it sounded.

When I did, I was horrified.

In my head, I felt like I was reading at a snailspace. But when I listened back what I heard was this mumbled sonic speed jumble of words.

When we’re nervous, we rush. We want to say what we have to say as quickly as possible. But we may not realize how that is coming across to other people.

That’s why we sound more assured when we keep our cool and deliver our words slowly and in a considered way.

That’s exactly what people who exude confidence do. Even their word choice seems more self-assured.

Rather than ramble, they say what they mean directly, as we’ll see next. 

2) They ask outright for what they want

Hands down my favorite thing about people who exude confidence is their ability to say what they want from someone.

It comes across as powerful and sexy.

There’s no beating around the bush or offering subtle clues in the hope someone picks up on it eventually.

They let you know straight what they expect or want from you. Of course, it’s still important to do so with tact and sensitivity.

But when you pull this off, it’s a huge sign of your inner confidence, because it undoubtedly takes a certain amount of vulnerability.

There’s always a risk when we say how we feel that someone won’t feel the same way.

Confident people can be forthcoming enough to display that vulnerability because they are comfortable with who they are.

That also means they aren’t running around desperately seeking approval, which brings us on to our next point.

3) They don’t wait around for other people to do it, instead, they validate themselves

How unshakable our confidence is can rest on this:

Where we go looking for our validation.

We all need to feel appreciated and admired.

But those people who always turn to others for their self-worth fall foul of people-pleasing tendencies.

Really confident people tap into a far more reliable source — themselves.

They remind themselves of their abilities, strengths, and accomplishments.

This bolsters them from the inside out.

4) They make great use of eye contact

If someone habitually avoids eye contact it tells you a lot about how they’re feeling.

When we’re uncomfortable and unsure of ourselves, it can feel excruciating to meet someone’s eye.

Think back to when you bumped into your crush back in high school and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

Eye contact is powerful to human beings.

We use it to send unconscious signals to one another about power and submission.

That’s why when someone looks us in the eye when they’re speaking to us, we see them as stronger and more capable.

Even if you’re not feeling that way, you can use eye contact as a clever little hack to try to boost your status.

5) They share their thoughts and opinions unashamedly

Many years ago, I was at a work meeting where the whole idea was for people to come together and chip in their ideas.

This was something I was happy to do. Sharing my thoughts has always felt effortless to me.

After this meeting, a colleague came up and confided that she was envious of how freely I was able to share in public. 

She said she felt too embarrassed and unsure of herself to volunteer her thoughts and opinions in front of others.

And it’s true, there is a lot of quiet confidence involved in being able to open up and give our point of view.

That’s why it comes across to others that you are comfortable enough with yourself when you can do so.

I suspect, at least part of the reason confident people can do this is down to the next thing on our list.

6) They don’t overanalyze

all talk and no action People who exude confidence always do these 12 things (without realizing it)

The danger is that overanalyzing is a recipe for overthinking.

We run the risk of reading into things that aren’t even there. It’s also so easy to talk ourselves out of things.

Having faith in yourself means taking some things at face value rather than looking for pitfalls that don’t even exist. 

It’s all about trusting your instincts instead and focusing on yourself, instead of getting too wrapped up in what other people do and think.

7) They take criticism and other people’s opinions of them with a pinch of salt

Criticism to highly confident people can seem like water off a duck’s back.

That’s not to say they’re not open to feedback. After all, it can be really valuable in helping us learn and grow.

But they don’t fall into the trap of taking it personally so that it knocks their confidence.

That’s certainly not as easy as they make it look.

So what’s their secret?

They don’t take it to heart, because they know that ultimately their opinion is what matters most.

They like enough things about themselves to be able to take the knock without their self-esteem crumbling.

Of course, that relies on some rock-solid faith in oneself. 

8) They’re nice to themselves

We like to blame the outside world or other people. But the real truth is that the enemy within is what strips away most people’s confidence.

It’s hard to exude confidence when you have this little voice in your head calling you stupid or pointing out all your perceived flaws 24-7.

Confident people don’t talk shit to themselves.

They still have that occasional inner critic pop up and say fearful things, but they’re much better at calling it out rather than listening to it.

They also show themselves compassion.

They feed themselves kind and positive thoughts that build them up, rather than negative and ugly ones that tear them down.

9) They stand up straight

It’s important not to neglect the little things. Because as small as they may be, they still send powerful messages.

There’s no denying body language plays a big role in how people perceive us.

If we want to appear at ease, how we carry ourselves counts. 

People with good posture are letting others unconsciously know that they aren’t afraid.

That’s why those who slouch or keep their head down look so uncomfortable in their own skin.

10) They are decisive in their actions

We already mentioned how confident people are less likely to agonize or overthink things.

This has another positive knock-on effect.

Rather than procrastinate or let overwhelm keep them stuck, they make a choice.

Decisiveness is directly linked to our confidence levels, and here’s why:

We have greater belief in ourselves to make the right choice.

But more than that, we know that whatever happens, we can handle it.

We give ourselves enough credit to be able to correct any mistakes and tackle challenges that may arise along the journey of life.

11) They give things another try after they get it wrong

pic1871 People who exude confidence always do these 12 things (without realizing it)

As our confidence to deal with life’s ups and downs builds, so does our propensity for tenacity.

When we do meet those stumbling blocks, we don’t feel the need to give in quite so quickly.

We’re not afraid to try again and keep trying again until we get it right.

We can see this quite clearly in someone’s willingness to leave their comfort zone.

If you’re with a confident person who is learning a new skill, they won’t feel stupid when they get it wrong the first time.

They’ll humbly keep on trying until they crack it.

12) They smile warmly

Smiling, just like eye contact, is another one of those innate human instincts that silently sends messages to everyone we meet.

But not all smiles are created equal.

It has to be a sincere smile for it to pack a punch, and research shows that most of us can tell the difference.

A genuine smile signals a certain level of comfort — and hence confidence.

A forced smile doesn’t hide the tension we’re feeling inside quite as well as we may hope.

That’s why someone’s confidence level can be written all over their face.

Turn confidence into a habit

Rather than waiting around for our confidence to grow, we’ve got to turn it into a routine.

We can do this by identifying behaviors that build our confidence and let that shine out to the world.

It takes some conscious practice at first, but with time, we become one of those people who exude confidence without even realizing it anymore.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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