People who excel in solitude but struggle in social settings often display these 13 behaviors

Ever met a mate who’s super comfortable being alone but stumbles in a crowd? Maybe you’re that mate.

These folks, often called introverts, can seem a tad puzzling to the party lovers. But really, they just interact with the world in their own unique way.

Curious? Let’s dive into their world.

Here are 13 things they usually do!

1) They love being alone

For these folks, alone time is golden. It’s not just about being away from people, it’s their special time to unwind and reconnect with themselves. Someone might see it as loneliness, but for them, it’s a cherished solitude.

This is when their batteries recharge, thoughts align, and passions ignite. They dive into their hobbies, read a book, or simply enjoy their own company. It’s their comfort zone where they excel and dare we say, feel the most alive.

2) They dodge small talk

Small talk and random chit-chat? Not their cup of tea. These individuals often find such conversations surface-level and draining. They’d much rather dive into a deep, thought-provoking conversation that allows them to connect with people on a more meaningful level.

In fact, they treasure these deep discussions because it’s an opportunity for them to share their thoughts and insights, and also learn from others.

So, if they seem a bit distant during casual chats, don’t take it personally. They’re just waiting for the right moment to delve into the real stuff.

3) They’re picky about their company

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I don’t hate being around people. In fact, I love it. But what I truly value is the quality of interactions, not the quantity.

I remember this one time, I had to choose between attending a huge party full of people I barely knew or spending an evening with a few close friends. Without a second thought, I chose the latter. We had a blast – we shared stories, laughed till our sides hurt, and made memories to cherish.

It’s not that I’m anti-social. It’s just that I prefer intimate gatherings where I can truly connect with people. It’s these meaningful relationships that truly enrich my life.

4) They observe before they act

These individuals are often thoughtful observers. They like to take in their surroundings, understand the situation, and then decide on their course of action. This cautious approach is less about hesitation, and more about careful consideration.

Here’s an interesting fact: studies found that observational learning is a powerful tool that can lead to better decision-making. So while their tendency to observe before acting might make them seem hesitant or slow to some, it’s actually a strategy that’s backed by science!

5) They’re all ears

These individuals might not be the loudest in the room, but they’re often the most attentive. They don’t just hear – they listen. They’re the kind of people who’ll remember a casual remark you made months ago, or ask about that job interview you mentioned in passing.

Have you ever poured your heart out to someone and felt truly heard? That’s the magic they bring. They aren’t waiting for their turn to speak; they’re genuinely interested in understanding your perspective, your feelings.

6) Crowds can be a bit much for them

I remember attending a bustling music festival a couple of years ago. My friends were excited, engulfed in the music and the crowd. But for me, being amidst such a large crowd was overwhelming. The loud music, the sea of people, the energy – it was all just too much too fast.

I found myself feeling anxious and drained. So, I decided to step out for a bit, catch my breath in a quieter corner. That helped me calm down and regain my energy.

Not that I don’t enjoy events or social gatherings. It’s just that sometimes, being in crowded places can feel overpowering and I need to take a step back to recharge. And I’ve realized, that’s okay to acknowledge when things get too much and take time for yourself.

7) They think before speaking

pic2276 People who excel in solitude but struggle in social settings often display these 13 behaviors

These folks don’t just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. No, they take their time. They mull over their words, weigh them, shape them until they’re ready.

Sometimes, this can be mistaken for hesitation or uncertainty. But here’s the raw truth: it’s not about doubt. It’s about respect – for their own thoughts and for the people they’re conversing with.

They understand that words once spoken can’t be taken back. They believe in the power of well-chosen words – how they can heal, inspire, and connect people on a deeper level.

8) They know themselves well

Spending a lot of time alone allows these individuals to really get to know themselves. They’re comfortable with who they are and have a strong understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses.

Did you know science found that self-reflection can actually help improve our decision-making abilities? It’s mind-blowing!

So when you see them introspecting, know that they’re not just idling away. They’re actually working on understanding themselves better, which in turn helps them make better decisions in life. That’s quite a plus, isn’t it?

9) Noise or bustle can overwhelm them

I remember a time when I was at a busy market. The hustle and bustle, the cacophony of sounds, the bright lights, it was all too much. I could feel my heart rate picking up, my palms getting sweaty. The sensory overload was overwhelming.

I’ve come to understand that my sensitivity to noise and bright lights isn’t uncommon for people like me. We can get easily overwhelmed in environments with too much stimulus. For us, a quiet walk in the park can be much more enjoyable than a day at a busy amusement park.

Understanding this about myself has helped me manage such situations better and be gentler with myself when I need to step back from overwhelming situations.

10) They’re creative souls

Solitude is not a prison for these individuals, it’s their creative playground. It’s during these quiet moments that their mind wanders, explores uncharted territories, and comes up with some brilliant ideas.

They aren’t just daydreaming – they’re creating. They’re artists in their own right, painting vivid pictures with their thoughts and ideas. Their solitude is their sanctuary where their creativity blossoms.–

11) They need downtime post socializing

After a social event or gathering, they feel drained, like a device running on low battery. They need to recharge, and their charger is solitude. It’s not that they didn’t enjoy the event or didn’t want to be there. They did.

But interacting with people, being “on” all the time can be exhausting for them. They need some downtime to recuperate, to regain their energy. So, when they retreat into their shells after a social event, it’s not personal – it’s survival.

12) They value deep bonds

Their friend list might not be long, but the bonds they form are profound and meaningful. For them, friendship is not about hanging out every weekend or chatting every day; it means being there for each other when it matters the most.

They understand each other without judgment, support each other without conditions, and love each other despite flaws. They might not say it out loud often, but if you’re in their close circle, know this – you hold a special place in their heart.

13) They’re self-reliant

These individuals have learned to depend on themselves in many aspects of life. Being alone so much has taught them how to handle things on their own. It might seem like they’re always in their own world, but in reality, they’re just self-sufficient.

They don’t need constant validation or support from others to go about their lives. This doesn’t mean they don’t value help or companionship, it simply means they’re not afraid to stand alone when needed. It’s a strength, not a weakness.

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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