No one goes into a marriage expecting to end up in divorce. But that’s the sad truth of life – not all marriages make it all the way despite the best intentions.
In fact, according to the UN Yearbook, there are 1.8 divorces per 1000 people.
It’s a jarring reality, yet amidst the heartbreak, there are those who seem to rediscover a spark within themselves.
What’s their secret? How do they bounce back and begin anew? Why is it that while some struggle to find their footing after a split, others seem to rediscover themselves and thrive?
It turns out, these people have certain personality traits that help them embrace life after divorce.
Let’s find out what these personality traits are:
1) Adaptability
Life after a major change like divorce requires a lot of adjusting. From living with someone for a long time, you now suddenly find yourself alone, or if you have kids, with just the kids.
Overnight, your partner becomes someone from your past. Someone not likely to figure in your future.
And that…is a heartbreaking thought.
What does one do then? Adapt.
Those who thrive have an innate ability to adapt. They recognize that while they can’t control everything, they can control how they react.
Embracing change instead of fighting it often paves the way to newfound joys and experiences.
Moreover, this flexibility in thought and behavior helps them navigate the unpredictable waters of post-divorce life. And they owe this flexibility to this next trait…
2) Open-mindedness
Being open to new experiences is a hallmark of those who enjoy life after divorce.
They’re curious, willing to learn, and open to new possibilities, be it in terms of relationships, travel, or even career shifts. They may even explore hobbies they’d never considered before.
And they’re more open to new routines. While others may cling to their old routines that involved their partner, the thrivers find new ways to do things.
For example, if they used to go to the neighborhood diner every Sunday with their partner, they now use their Sundays to volunteer at a soup kitchen.
None of the wishful thinking that can keep them weighed down in the past.
3) Good self-care habits
If there’s one thing people who embrace life after divorce understand, it’s this – it’s time to take care of themselves.
Physical and mental well-being is paramount, especially after traumatic events like divorce. Those who flourish prioritize self-care.
This doesn’t mean just spa days or vacations, but regular habits that nourish their body and soul.
From eating well and exercising to meditation and journaling, they recognize the importance of looking after themselves.
The more they do that, the more confidence and energy they have to tackle the challenges ahead.
4) Self-awareness
Closely connected to self-care is self-awareness. You see, understanding oneself is crucial to the healing process.
Those who emerge stronger often take the time to reflect, understand their needs, and recognize areas they’d like to grow in.
This introspection often leads to powerful self-discovery. When they acknowledge where they went wrong and what they did right, they can navigate the post-divorce world with a renewed sense of identity and clarity.
That sets them up for better chances of success in their next relationship. Which brings me to my next point…
5) Optimism
Do people who’ve been through a divorce feel hopeful that there’s someone else out there for them?
Not always. But the ones who thrive do.
They don’t see the divorce as a final destination. They choose to view it as a new beginning.
Or even if they ultimately don’t want to have another relationship, they still see how the future holds other opportunities.
Having a positive outlook can be a game-changer. The ones who shine after a divorce aren’t just being blindly optimistic.
They choose to focus on the silver linings and the opportunities ahead, believing that better days await.
6) Gratitude
In fact, even while they’ve just been through a broken marriage, they still remain thankful for it. For the life they’ve lived and the lessons they’ve learned.
And for the blessings that each day brings, no matter how heartbroken they might feel in the moment.
See, that’s the power of gratitude. It heals pain because it helps us focus on the good in our lives, no matter how small.
For people who embrace life after divorce, gratitude helps shift their perspective from what they’ve lost to what they still have and can gain.
7) Growth mindset
Believing in one’s ability to grow and learn is key to healing. The best of the lot see divorce not as a failure but as a lesson.
They ask themselves, “What can I learn from this?” rather than “Why did this happen to me?”
This approach often leads them to personal development opportunities, whether it’s reading books, attending workshops, or seeking therapy. They’re constantly on the lookout for ways to better themselves and their circumstances.
That’s also why they have this next trait…
8) Patience
Healing takes time. That’s why the ones who embrace life after divorce are patient, even with themselves.
They might have days when emotions overwhelm them, when anger or sadness seems all-consuming.
But instead of berating themselves, they take a deep breath, accept the emotion, and remember that healing is a journey, not a race.
They also understand that rebuilding a life doesn’t happen overnight.
For instance, when diving back into the dating scene, they don’t rush. They might go on a date and find it’s not quite like they remember, or maybe they’ve changed. They don’t panic.
Instead, they give themselves time to adjust, understanding that finding the right person might take a few tries.
Or consider co-parenting. It’s easy to want things to be smooth from day one, but hiccups happen. They might disagree with their ex about curfews or school choices.
But because they’re patient, they don’t force an immediate resolution. They make the effort to listen, understand and work collaboratively to find a middle ground.
9) Empathy
I have an aunt who’s the perfect example of someone who has embraced life after divorce. And I would say that one of the things that helped her do this is her empathetic nature.
You see, even after the split, she never spoke badly about my uncle. She remained kind and compassionate towards him. When I asked her how she managed to do that, she said this:
“He’s got his own battles to fight. This isn’t easy for him, either.”
It just amazed me how she could say that. Instead of feeling bitter, she chose compassion. Empathy.
This trait has also allowed her to move forward and travel light. And it definitely made co-parenting with my uncle so much easier.
10) Grace
Dealing with the aftermath of divorce can be chaotic, and it’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. But those who truly stand out after their marriage ends? They handle it all with grace.
Grace isn’t about being perfect; it’s about approaching situations with poise, understanding, and a dose of humility.
Let’s consider the social scene. Post-divorce, it’s not uncommon to run into old mutual friends or even the ex at gatherings. While it could be awkward, those with grace navigate these situations with ease.
They might strike up a friendly chat, ensuring the atmosphere stays light and comfortable for everyone around. No drama, no fuss.
When they encounter friends who ask what happened, they might give a brief, respectful answer, without delving into the dirty details or placing blame.
They understand that their story is theirs alone and choose what to share with dignity.
Grace is especially important when it comes to the matter of co-parenting. When children start moving between two homes, they might inadvertently make comments like, “Dad doesn’t do it this way” or “Mom lets me do this.”
That would make anyone snap or feel undermined, wouldn’t it?
But the gracious ones know how to handle it perfectly – with the right kind of sensitivity and gentleness.
In essence, embracing life with grace after divorce means handling the highs and the lows with a gentle strength. It makes the journey smoother not just for themselves, but for everyone they interact with.
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