People who display these 9 behaviors are often quite lonely in life

Have you ever encountered someone who seems a little odd?

They might do things you wouldn’t normally do, or say things you wouldn’t normally say.  

Well, this person could actually be quite lonely in life.

While their behavior may seem a little strange to you, it isn’t because they’re an unusual person.

It could just be because the cards they’ve been dealt in life (or just very recently) have left them feeling quite lonely. And you are the person they’re reaching out to for support!

Think someone you know could be quite lonely in life? Here are 9 tell-tale signs that’s probably the case!

Up first:

1) They overshare when you hardly know them

First up, when someone is quite lonely in life, you might be able to tell very quickly when talking to them.

Why? Because they’ll tell you things they probably shouldn’t! This is especially true if you’ve just met this person or you don’t really know them that well.

I.e., you’re basically strangers and they’re telling you intimate things about their life. Particularly traumatic things…

People overshare with strangers for two main reasons. 1) They’re insecure. Or 2) they have no one else to talk to about these things.

Someone I knew at work did this. She used to share the most detailed things about her personal life. Those things were better shared with a close friend. Or, if I’m being honest, a therapist…

We knew she overshared because she didn’t have anyone else outside of work to talk to about these things. Which was sad, but true…

2) They text or call you constantly

Another thing someone will do when they’re lonely in life is text or call you incessantly!

Sure, they might just be a very social person. But in my experience, people do this because they have no one else except you to talk to.  

I’ve experienced it before when talking to people on the dating apps. Some are just a little too chatty and want to call or text every minute of the day…

I’ll even admit that I’ve been this person a few times in my life!

When I’ve felt very lonely, like after a breakup or when living alone, I’ve texted and wanted to call my friends way more than usual.

And it’s 100% been because I felt lonely, isolated, or just in desperate need of a conversation with a friend…

3) They never want to hang up the phone

Have you ever spoken to someone on the phone who kind of lingers when the call comes to an end? Or who always starts a new conversation when you’re trying to end things?

Sure, this person might just fancy the pants off you! After all, don’t we all want to keep talking to people we like or even love?

But if it’s anyone other than a romantic interest, they might be doing this for a different reason.

They might be quite lonely in life and your call is a saving grace for them. So, they’ll do and say anything to keep you on the phone for longer…

4) They reply to texts very quickly

First up, let me add a pretty big caveat! Some people are just hot on their texts, calls, and notifications in general.

If you message, they’ll reply at lightning speed – purely because they’re available and on their phone!

But sometimes, people who reply super-fast could be quite lonely. They might not get many texts from friends or acquaintances. So when you text, they instantly read it and want to talk to you.

Like I say, they might just have their phone in hand. But when it happens all the time, it could be a sign that they’re pretty lonely…

5) They opt for in-person ordering over online

People who display these behaviors are often quite lonely in life 1 People who display these 9 behaviors are often quite lonely in life

My grandad was the guiltiest person ever for this!

He’d never order a single thing online or via the app. He’d always opt to call a company rather than do it online. And he’d always go to the server in the supermarket rather than use the self-service scanners.

This was partially because he was a little old-fashioned, but it was also because he was a little lonely.

I used to know someone younger who would always order at the tills or the bar over the scanners or app. They said it was because it was nice to talk to people.

Years later, he admitted that he did this because he didn’t get out very much. And he used to feel pretty lonely most days…

6) They chat to strangers in public

I encounter these people all the time in the supermarkets.

They just want to chat with you about any and everything! I see them strike up conversations with strangers all around the store. And I know I’ll be next!

Sure, they could just be very sociable people. But most of the time, this is the behavior of someone who’s quite lonely in life.

If anyone remembers the 2020 pandemic, you might understand this behavior way better, too.

I always opted to use the cashier over the self-service. I also occasionally made conversations with strangers, especially when they had a dog… And it was, admittedly, because I was pretty lonely back then!

7) They attention-seek (and sometimes lie to get it)

I hate it when people call others “attention-seekers”. I think it’s normal to want some attention in life, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it!

That being said, there is such a thing as a person who seeks attention in an unhealthy way…

For example, I knew a girl in school who used to lie constantly. She was always upset about something that was happening in her life, like her dog dying, her grandma getting sick, or her parents getting divorced.

At first, we didn’t know these things were a lie. We were all very supportive about what she was going through. But we soon caught on that these things weren’t true. And she was actually saying them to get attention.

This trait didn’t make her a “bad person”. She was just quite lonely in life, and lying to get attention from us was the only way for her to fill that void…

8) They don’t get out much

I’m a huge introvert, and I’ll be the first to say how much I love a weekend to myself every now and then!

But even introverts like to get out of the house and socialize with friends. Rarely have I ever come across an introvert who wanted to spend every day, evening, and weekend by themselves.

Unless, of course, they aren’t an introvert at all. They’re just quite lonely in life.

When someone’s answer to what their evening/weekend/upcoming plans are is always, “Oh nothing” or “Just a chilled one this weekend”, watch out.

This could be a sign that they’re doing nothing because they have no one to see, rather than out of choice.

9) They ask for validation all the time

Experts say it’s normal to seek validation from others. As humans, we crave connection with our community, so we’ll often want their reassurance on various things.

But we shouldn’t seek validation from others all the time or about everything…

When people do this, there are usually two reasons for it. They either have low self-esteem or they’re feeling a bit lonely. Sometimes, it’s both!

You’ll know if someone seeks validation all the time if they’re always asking, “Is this OK?”, “Do I look OK?”, “Is it OK if I do this?”, or “Do you mind if I do that?”.

Final thoughts

When you encounter someone who displays any of these behaviors, try not to label them as “odd”, “weird”, or “annoying” too quickly.

They might just be a bit lonely in life and are trying their best to form a connection with others.

If they’re displaying these behaviors with you, like texting all the time and wanting your help with things, they might see you as someone nice and trustworthy.

Just be careful when encountering these people.

While it’s nice to help people and be kind, especially when they’re feeling down and lonely, you need to look after yourself, too.

When people are extremely lonely in life, they can try to get all their social needs met by you if you show them love, care, or attention. Which can lead them to sap all your time and energy, usually without even realizing it…

So while you can still be friends with someone lonely and listen to them in times of need, just make sure you still have your own boundaries. That way, you won’t end up giving too much of yourself to someone else!

Picture of Amy Reed

Amy Reed

Amy Reed is a content writer from London working with international brands. As an empath, she loves sharing her life insights to help others. When she’s not writing, she enjoys a simple life of reading, gardening, and making a fuss over her two cats.

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