What does it mean to be truly confident?
Does it mean you’re the loudest person in the room? Does it mean you never, ever mess up or fail at anything? Does it mean you walk around with a feeling that you’re just better than everyone else?
If you haven’t already guessed it, the answer is no – it absolutely doesn’t.
Being truly confident is never about those kinds of things.
Instead, it’s about the way you approach life, how you respond to the things it throws at you, and what you choose to do about your troubles in the future.
Think you’re a truly confident person? If so, you never fear making these (what some people might call) mistakes in life – and what you do instead!
1) Being rejected after putting yourself out there
Getting rejected isn’t a good feeling. Whether it’s for a job, a course, a college, or a person you’re into – it sucks to be turned down.
Experts say it’s natural to feel down and disappointed after experiencing rejection. We have a need to be accepted and included in social groups – and rejection (of any kind) feels like the opposite of that.
But rejection is just a part of life. And it isn’t right to say that what you did was a mistake when you’re turned down after taking a chance.
Rejection makes us stronger, keeps us grounded, and teaches us what we really want in life. A truly confident person knows that rejection sucks, but it’s necessary.
So they never fear putting themselves out there “in case it doesn’t work out”. Because that’s no way to progress, build skills, or achieve your goals.
2) Something not going to plan
When you’re confident in yourself, you’re also confident about the plans you make.
You don’t worry that the party you’re hosting at the weekend is going to be a bust. Nor do you live in fear about not getting that job you just applied for.
Instead, you trust the process. You “expect the unexpected”, as the saying goes. You plan as much as you can and you have confidence in yourself that your hard work will pay off eventually.
And if something doesn’t go to plan, you know that you can take it on the chin and keep on going.
3) Being bad at something new
There’s nothing wrong with being bad at something. As Michael Jordan once said in his very famous anecdote:
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
He was talking about the (very high) number of games he’s lost and the shots he’s missed in his career. But that the amount of times he’s succeeded has been so much higher – and only happened because he failed before.
Trying something new takes courage and confidence. And chances are, you’re not going to succeed on the first try – no matter what you’re doing. Whether it’s a new class at college or a new job.
But sometimes, you have to keep going and keep learning to become “the best” (or even just good!).
And truly confident people don’t worry about messing up when doing something new. They’ll try their hardest not to mess up, of course.
But it’s likely to happen. And the fear of that isn’t going to stop them from pushing on!
4) Being wrong
Everyone is wrong sometimes. Sometimes we say the wrong thing. Sometimes we make a statement, and it turns out to be incorrect.
Sometimes we have one belief – and it’s changed completely when we learn something new. That’s a very normal part of life.
When you’re a truly confident person, you don’t fear being wrong about things. You don’t live a quiet life, never speaking up or saying how you feel for fear of getting it wrong.
Instead, you speak up, open up, and get involved in the debates you want to get involved in. Not because you have something to prove.
But because you have a voice – and you know that using that voice is the only way to learn, prove (or disprove!) a theory, and live a full life that’s true to you.
5) Being taken advantage of
When you’re a truly confident person, you have a strong sense of self-awareness. You know your skills, strengths, and even your weaknesses.
Which gives you a strong, healthy set of boundaries that you’re not afraid to reinforce when the situation calls for it.
So, you never worry about people taking advantage of you – or taking on more than you can handle. You know your limits and when enough is enough.
And you’re not afraid to voice your concerns if something doesn’t seem (or feel) right.
Even if you’re partnered with someone who you know is manipulative – you can handle yourself, and you don’t worry about falling into their trap!
6) Making the wrong choice
When you’re a confident person, you have confidence in your decisions. You’re decisive and you use your analytical brain to weigh up your options and make the best choice you can make in that exact moment.
You even have confidence that if your decision doesn’t turn out to be the best one ever, it’s all leading you down the right path.
Which doesn’t mean you sit back and wait for everyone else to clean up your mess.
But it does mean that even if this one decision didn’t turn out to be what you wanted – you get something from it, learn from it, and use the experience to do the “right” thing for you next time.
When you’re a truly confident person, you don’t have the same fears everyone else has. You have an unshakable confidence in yourself that leads you to simply trust the process of everyday life.
You don’t worry about what people think of you if you mess up. Or if you’re heading down the wrong path when you make one teeny tiny decision that wasn’t right.
Every day is an opportunity for you to learn. And you’re not afraid to continue acting, learning, trying, and (most importantly!) failing before you find what’s right for you.