People who are stuck in a “fantasy relationship” often share these 10 traits

Ever caught yourself daydreaming about the “perfect” love story? One that feels like it’s straight out of a movie? But what if you start believing this dream more than the truth? This is what we call a “fantasy relationship.”

In a fantasy relationship, one person is more in love with their idea of their partner, rather than the actual person. It’s like being in love with being in love, not the person you’re with.

Today, we’re going to look at 10 traits often seen in people who are stuck in these fantasy relationships. So get comfy, maybe get a snack, and let’s talk about what happens when love gets a bit too dreamy.

1. They’re Often Daydreamers

First off, people stuck in fantasy relationships are often daydreamers. They love to imagine scenarios, conversations, and events that haven’t occurred – especially when it comes to their love life.

Their partner can do no wrong in these daydreams, and everything is always perfect. These imagined realities can be so enticing that they often prefer them to their actual circumstances.

It’s important to remember that while daydreaming is healthy and normal, it becomes a problem when it starts replacing reality.

2. They Overlook Red Flags

Another common trait is the tendency to ignore or downplay the red flags in their relationship.

They are so caught up in their idealized version of their partner that they tend to overlook their flaws and mistakes.

This can lead to them tolerating unacceptable behavior or brushing off serious issues because they don’t fit into their fantasy narrative. Ignoring problems won’t make them disappear; it only delays the inevitable confrontation with reality.

3. They’re Often Disappointed

I can tell you firsthand, people stuck in fantasy relationships often experience disappointment.

I remember when I was in one myself, I had built up this perfect image of my partner and our relationship.

However, every time he acted differently than my ideal version of him, I felt let down.

It’s like I was dating two people – the real one and the one I had created in my mind.

The constant disappointment was a result of the gap between my fantasy and reality.

It’s a tough cycle to break, but recognizing it is the first step towards healthier relationships.

4. They Avoid Conflict

People in fantasy relationships often steer clear of conflict like it’s the plague. They fear that disagreements or arguments might shatter the idealized image of their relationship.

But here’s an interesting fact: according to psychologists, avoiding conflict isn’t healthy or productive for a relationship.

In fact, a certain level of conflict can be beneficial as it promotes growth, understanding, and better communication between partners.

While people in fantasy relationships may think they’re protecting their love by avoiding conflict, they could actually be stunting its growth.

5. They Feel Lonely

It might seem paradoxical, but people in fantasy relationships often feel a deep sense of loneliness.

Even though they’re in a relationship, the connection they crave is with the idealized partner in their mind, not the real person beside them.

This disconnection can lead to feelings of isolation and sadness.

It’s a poignant reminder that genuine connections are based on accepting and loving people for who they are, not who we want them to be.

It’s a hard truth to accept, but it’s also a stepping stone to finding real and fulfilling love.

6. They’re Constantly Justifying Their Relationship

This is something I’ve personally experienced.

When I was in a fantasy relationship, I found myself constantly justifying my partner’s actions to my friends and family.

It was like I was on a mission to convince everyone (including myself) that the relationship was as perfect as I imagined it in my head. “He didn’t mean what he said” or “She’s just going through a tough time” became common phrases in my vocabulary.

Looking back, I realize it was a coping mechanism to hold onto the dreamy version of the relationship I had created in my mind.

7. They’re Scared of the Truth

Let’s not sugarcoat it. People stuck in fantasy relationships are often terrified of facing the truth.

Acknowledging that their partner is not the picture-perfect person they’ve built up in their mind can be incredibly painful.

It can feel like their whole world is falling apart.

But here’s the thing: living a lie, no matter how beautiful, is not a pathway to genuine happiness.

It’s like building a house on sand; it might look great for a while, but eventually, it’s going to collapse.

The fear of facing reality may be scary, but it’s a necessary step towards finding a relationship that’s based on real love and acceptance.

8. They’re Stuck in the Past or Future

People who are in fantasy relationships often live in the past or future, not the present.

They either reminisce about the “good old days” when everything seemed perfect, or they daydream about a future where their partner magically transforms into their ideal version.

Interesting fact: psychologists say that this kind of thinking is a form of escapism, a way for people to avoid dealing with their present reality.

The key to a healthy relationship is living and accepting the present moment, flaws and all.

9. They Often Feel Unfulfilled

Speaking from personal experience, when you’re in a fantasy relationship, there’s a lingering sense of unfulfillment. It’s like eating your favorite meal and still feeling hungry.

In my case, I was in love with an image of my partner that didn’t exist outside of my mind, so my emotional needs were never truly met by the real person.

I was expecting love, understanding, and support from someone who wasn’t capable of giving it in the way I had imagined.

This left me feeling unsatisfied and perpetually longing for more.

10. They’re Afraid of Being Alone

Many people in fantasy relationships are scared of being alone.

The fear of solitude can be so overwhelming that they’d rather cling to an imaginary perfect partner than face the prospect of being single.

But this fear often traps them in a cycle of denial and disappointment.

It’s important to remember that being alone is far better than being in a relationship where you feel lonely.

Embracing solitude can open the door to self-discovery, growth, and eventually, a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

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Justin Brown

Justin Brown

I'm Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod. I've overseen the evolution of Ideapod from a social network for ideas into a publishing and education platform with millions of monthly readers and multiple products helping people to think critically, see issues clearly and engage with the world responsibly.

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