People who are lonely in life but never open up about it often display these 11 behaviors (without realizing it)

Social media and the internet are the things that are supposed to bring us together more than ever before. However, it turns out that in many cases, they’re more harmful than people first thought. 

When you couple them with the overall very busy lifestyles we all have, it’s easy to see how so many people feel lonelier than ever before. 

So let’s see what behaviors people who are lonely in life but never open up about it usually display. And often without even realizing it.  

When you finish reading, you’ll know exactly what to watch out for. 

1) Working nonstop

Many people throw themselves into work to distract themselves from feeling alone. But this is nothing more than trying to fill a void with emails, meetings, and projects, hoping that the busyness will drown out the loneliness.

And let’s face it: feelings of loneliness can be overwhelming and uncomfortable. Work, on the other hand, can offer a sense of purpose and identity, giving us a structured routine and tangible goals to pursue. 

We can find validation and fulfillment, albeit temporarily, in our achievements and productivity.

But when your whole life comes down to work and sleep, you know you did something wrong along the way. 

2) Skipping parties and events

Do you make excuses not to go out with friends or attend parties, events, or other social gatherings because it’s easier to stay home?

But then, deep down, you wish you were out there making memories with others. Still, the thought of facing a crowd seems too overwhelming.

For some people, even when they’re surrounded by people, they feel utterly alone. They feel like an outsider looking in, unable to bridge the gap between themselves and those around them. 

And so they find themselves making excuses, telling friends they’re too tired or have other plans when, in reality, they’re just not up for facing the crowd.

No matter how hard they try, they can’t shake the feeling of being disconnected from the world.

And that’s obviously a major mental block if they want to hang out with others and make bonds. 

People tell themselves that they’re better off alone and that solitude is better than the discomfort of socializing. 

But despite their efforts to convince themselves otherwise, there’s a nagging sense of emptiness that lingers, a longing for connection that remains unfulfilled.

3) Needing constant approval

People who need constant approval are basically craving a steady stream of reassurance and validation from those around them. 

They don’t just want to feel good about themselves but also look for external confirmation of their worth and value as a person.

They often rely on likes, comments, and shares on social media to feel validated. Each notification gives them a brief sense of connection. Still, when they stop coming, they’re left feeling even more alone and questioning their worth.

Their need for constant approval can stem from a deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment

They worry that if people don’t like what they have to say or approve of their actions, they’ll reject them, confirming their worst fears about being unworthy of love and connection.

4) Being really hard on themselves 

People who are lonely in life but never open up about it are often their own worst critics, constantly berating themselves for not being good enough. 

For example, imagine Emily, who’s a graphic designer. She’s really good at what she does. But whenever she sees other designers’ work online, she starts doubting her own skills. 

She’s always comparing herself to others and feels like she’s not as good as them.

For people like Emily, every mistake and every perceived flaw reinforces the belief that they’re unworthy of love and connection. 

They have this voice in their head constantly reminding them of their shortcomings and reminding them that they’re not worth it.

5) Feeling like they’re not worth it

Deep down, they believe they don’t deserve happiness or love. They see themselves as fundamentally flawed, unworthy of the deep connections and meaningful relationships that others seem to effortlessly enjoy. 

Imagine seeing yourself in a funhouse mirror that makes you look all distorted and weird. That’s how they see themselves – flawed, unlovable, and undeserving of the good things in life.

This feeling holds them back from going after what they want. They have a voice in their head that says, “Why bother? You’re just going to fail anyway.”

6) Struggling to trust others

Many lonely people have been hurt before, so trusting people doesn’t come easy for them. They keep their guard up, afraid that if they let someone in, they’ll only end up hurting them.

And that’s a terrible way to live life, isn’t it? Being stuck in a cycle of loneliness and mistrust, unable to break free.

They keep conversations light, never really letting anyone see the real them. They’re afraid that if they show their true self, they’ll just end up hurt again, so they play it safe and keep things surface-level.

Ultimately, taking down those walls takes guts. It means risking getting hurt again, but it also means giving yourself the chance to find people who are worth trusting. 

It’s a scary leap, but it’s also the only way to break free from that cycle of loneliness and doubt.

7) Waiting for others to reach out

grew up lonely People who are lonely in life but never open up about it often display these 11 behaviors (without realizing it)

For many people, the reason why they feel lonely is that they don’t want to reach out first and ask others to hang out with them. 

And so they wait for invitations to come to them, afraid of rejection if they take the initiative. They’re stuck in being passive and waiting for someone else to rescue them from their loneliness. 

They also want to be the ones making plans and reaching out to others, but the fear of rejection simply holds them back. 

“What if they say no?” “What if they’re too busy?” “What if they don’t really want to hang out with me?”

These are all questions going through their minds. They simply overthink things, and that’s harming them. 

8) Overthinking every conversation

After every interaction, they replay the conversation in their head, analyzing every word and gesture. “Did I say the right thing?” “Did I come across as too eager or too distant?” 

It’s exhausting, but they can’t help but dissect every social interaction, searching for clues about where they might have gone wrong.

They don’t get it that most people aren’t analyzing conversations as much as they are. Or at all. They’re probably not even thinking twice about that joke they made or that awkward pause.

So, instead of driving themselves crazy trying to be perfect, they should try to go with the flow and remember that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. That’s what makes us human. 

They need to focus on being present in the moment and enjoying the conversation instead of overanalyzing every little thing they say.

9) Trying to be perfect

And because they overanalyze things that much, they obviously want to be as perfect as they can be. But being perfect isn’t good or attainable. 

Putting immense pressure on yourself to excel in every aspect of your life is harmful. 

Whether it’s your career, your appearance, or your relationships, you strive for perfection, convinced that anything less is unacceptable. 

But this quest for perfection only leaves you and anyone else feeling more isolated and inadequate

For example, spending ages editing and filtering your photos before posting them on Instagram, wanting everything to look flawless and curated, even if it’s not how things really are.

Or, spending hours in front of the mirror fixing every hair and scrutinizing every outfit choice, trying to achieve an impossible standard of beauty and perfection.

10) Throwing themselves into hobbies

You immerse yourself in hobbies or activities to escape the loneliness gnawing at you. From painting, gaming, or gardening, these things offer temporary relief from isolation, giving you something to focus on other than your own thoughts.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t have hobbies and interests. On the contrary, I love how they let me lose myself in the flow of creativity or the thrill of competition.

But as comforting as hobbies can be, they’re only a temporary fix. They can’t replace the genuine connection and companionship that comes from meaningful relationships with others.

11) Feeling physically drained

Loneliness seeps into your bones, making everything feel ten times harder than it should be. Even getting out of bed in the morning feels like climbing Mount Everest. 

You’re just so darn tired all the time, and no amount of sleep seems to help.

People who are lonely in life but never open up about it carry a burden that no one else can see, a weight that grows heavier with each passing day. 

No matter how much they sleep or rest, the fatigue persists, a constant reminder of the emotional toll of loneliness.

Final thoughts

Loneliness is a deeply human experience that can impact us in profound ways, both emotionally and physically. 

But even though it’s so prevalent nowadays, it’s important to recognize that feeling lonely is a struggle that many people face.

The good news is there are things you can do to feel better. Reach out to friends or family, try connecting with more people, and don’t take anyone for granted.

Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

0:00
0:00