People who are emotionally intelligent never do these 7 things in relationships

Navigating the complex world of relationships isn’t always easy. But when you’re equipped with emotional intelligence, things tend to run a lot smoother.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is your ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. It’s a key ingredient in building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

But what exactly does it look like in practice?

Well, it’s often easier to define something by what it isn’t. There are certain things that emotionally intelligent people just don’t do in relationships.

Today, we’ll delve into seven of them.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) They don’t avoid difficult conversations

In the world of relationships, communication is key.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this and don’t shy away from difficult or uncomfortable conversations. They know that the only way to truly resolve issues and build a stronger bond with their partner is to have these tough discussions.

Avoidance, on the other hand, can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and even larger conflicts down the line. It’s like a ticking time bomb that can explode at any moment.

But here’s the catch: having these conversations isn’t about proving who’s right or wrong. It’s about understanding each other’s perspectives and finding common ground.

Do emotionally intelligent people enjoy these tough talks? Probably not. But they understand their importance, and they’re willing to step out of their comfort zone for the sake of their relationship.

2) They don’t hide their flaws

Here’s something that may surprise you: emotionally intelligent people don’t hide their flaws in a relationship.

Yes, you heard that right. They don’t put on a perfect facade or attempt to portray themselves as someone they’re not. Instead, they embrace their imperfections and are honest about their shortcomings.

Why? Because they know that everyone has flaws and it’s these imperfections that make us human. They understand that pretending to be perfect only sets up unrealistic expectations and can lead to disappointment down the line.

More importantly, they recognize that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Being open about your flaws creates a space for authenticity and deep connection in a relationship.

So, while it may seem counterintuitive, being upfront about your weaknesses can actually strengthen your bond with your partner. After all, love isn’t about finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

3) They don’t lose themselves in the relationship

In my years of observing and studying relationships, one thing has become abundantly clear: emotionally intelligent people don’t lose their individuality in a relationship.

It’s easy to get swept up in the romance and start to mould yourself into what you think your partner wants. But here’s the truth: a healthy relationship requires two whole individuals. Losing yourself in a relationship can lead to codependency, which is anything but healthy.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this issue. It’s a subtle dance, maintaining your individuality while being part of a couple. 

But for now, just remember that it’s okay to have separate interests, friends, and hobbies. It’s okay to spend time apart. In fact, it’s healthy. Don’t let your relationship consume you. Maintain your own identity – because that’s the person your partner fell in love with in the first place.

4) They don’t hold grudges

Here’s something else that emotionally intelligent people steer clear of in relationships: they don’t hold grudges.

It’s natural to get upset when your partner does something that hurts you. However, holding on to that anger and resentment can be toxic. It creates a barrier between you and your partner and prevents healing and growth.

The most successful couples are those who know how to let go of past hurts. They understand that forgiveness is a gift they give to themselves, as much as it is to their partner. 

When emotionally intelligent people are hurt, they express their feelings, they seek understanding and resolution, and then they let it go. They don’t allow past mistakes to cloud their present happiness. 

5) They don’t neglect their partner’s needs

In all my years of working with couples, one thing stands out: emotionally intelligent people never neglect their partner’s needs.

A relationship is a partnership, and it requires a balance of give and take.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They don’t just focus on their own needs and desires; they make an effort to understand and meet their partner’s needs as well.

This doesn’t mean they become self-sacrificing or ignore their own needs. It simply means they are mindful of their partner’s feelings, desires, and requirements in the relationship. They consider their partner’s perspective and strive to ensure both parties feel valued and cared for.

6) They don’t play mind games

Put simply, mind games are manipulative and destructive. They create unnecessary drama and can cause significant harm to a relationship. When emotions are used as weapons, it erodes trust and respect between partners.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They believe in clear, open, and honest communication. They don’t see their relationship as a battlefield but rather as a safe haven where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of manipulation or retaliation.

What’s the lesson here?

Be clear with your words, be respectful with your actions, and most importantly, be real with your intentions.

Want to stay updated with more relationship insights like these? Feel free to follow me on my Facebook page. I regularly share my latest articles there!

7) They don’t fear being alone

Last but not certainly not least, emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid of being alone.

They understand the value of self-love and self-care, and they know that being single isn’t a curse, but rather an opportunity for personal growth. They don’t see a relationship as a necessity to complete them or make them happy.

They seek a partner to complement their already fulfilling life, not to fill a void.

These individuals don’t stay in a relationship that isn’t working out of fear of being alone. They would rather be single than be in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship.

Final thoughts

The journey of emotional intelligence in relationships is a continuous one. It’s about consciously deciding to respond rather than react, to understand rather than judge, and most importantly, to grow together rather than grow apart.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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