We often talk about the behaviours and habits of confident, self-assured individuals. But what about the quirks and traits of those who are deeply insecure?
Insecurity can be a complex and multifaceted issue that manifests in all sorts of ways, especially in social situations.
So, pour yourself a cup of tea and let’s delve into the 12 things that people who are deeply insecure often do when they walk into a room.
You may find that you recognize some of these behaviors – perhaps even in yourself.
This is not about judging or criticising, but understanding, empathising, and learning.
1) They scan the room
From the moment I set foot in a room, I find myself scanning the environment. This isn’t a casual glance around but a detailed, sweeping survey.
I’m looking for familiar faces, potential threats, exits, and any detail that could offer a sense of security or potential discomfort.
It’s like I’m on high alert, ready for any eventuality.
It’s exhausting but it’s something deeply insecure people like me often do when walking into a room.
2) They avoid eye contact
As I step into a room, I often find it hard to maintain eye contact with others.
It’s not that I’m being impolite or detached, but rather the fear of judgement or rejection makes it difficult to hold someone’s gaze.
Instead, I find myself looking at the floor, at my hands, or anywhere else that’s not directly into someone’s eyes.
It’s a shield of sorts, a way to protect myself from perceived negative scrutiny.
This is another common habit among those who are deeply insecure.
3) They overcompensate with confidence
Despite the internal struggle, I often find myself projecting an outward image of confidence.
I laugh louder, talk more, and even dominate conversations.
It’s almost like wearing a mask, a disguise to hide the deep-seated insecurities.
But it’s not real – it’s just an act, a performance to make others believe that I’m more self-assured than I actually am.
It’s a paradox, but it’s one way I cope with my insecurities when I walk into a room.
4) Sticking to the walls
When we’re feeling insecure, we often gravitate towards the edges of a room.
It’s an instinctual behavior, not just in humans, but in many animals as well.
In fact, studies on animal behavior have found that animals often stick to the edges of their environment when they’re feeling threatened or insecure.
This behavior, known as thigmotaxis, is believed to provide a sense of security and control.
So next time you find yourself hugging the walls at a social event, know that it’s not just you – it’s part of our natural survival instinct.
5) They constantly check their phone
My phone becomes my lifeline when I walk into a room.
It’s not just about checking messages or social media updates, it’s about creating a barrier between myself and the rest of the room.
When I’m on my phone, I can avoid direct interaction, reduce the chance for awkward conversations, and distract myself from the discomfort of the situation.
It’s a safety net that many of us who are deeply insecure rely on when we’re in social environments.
6) They struggle with small talk
Although small talk is a common and often necessary part of social interactions, it’s something I find particularly challenging.
It’s not just about finding the right words, but also about the fear of saying the wrong thing or failing to keep the conversation flowing.
This lack of ease in engaging in light, casual conversation is something many of us who are deeply insecure experience when we walk into a room full of people, even if it’s something as simple as discussing the weather or asking about someone’s day.
7) They constantly apologize
Ever known someone who says ‘sorry’ a lot? The moment they step into a room, they’re immediately apologizing – for being late, for speaking too loudly, or even for just being there.
This constant need to apologize isn’t about politeness or good manners. It’s a manifestation of their deep-seated insecurities.
They’re apologizing for their existence, believing that they are a disruption or inconvenience to others.
If you find yourself constantly uttering ‘I’m sorry’ when there’s no real need to, it’s time to pause and reflect. This could be an unconscious echo of hidden insecurities, an inner voice whispering that you’re not enough as you are. And that voice needs to be heard, understood, and reassured.
8) They constantly compare themselves to others
When I walk into a room, it’s hard not to look around and start comparing myself to everyone else.
Their confidence, their ease in conversation, even their appearance – it all seems superior to mine.
It’s a painful feeling of inadequacy that tugs at my heart, a debilitating comparison game that only serves to amplify the insecurities.
It’s not about jealousy or envy; it’s about the deep-seated fear of not measuring up to what I perceive as the standard.
This is a burden carried by many who are deeply insecure.
9) They avoid the spotlight
I can’t count the number of times I’ve purposefully avoided the spotlight because of my insecurities.
Whether it was passing up on a chance to share my ideas in a meeting or choosing to blend into the crowd at a social event, I’ve done it all.
It’s like an invisible force field around me, pushing attention and recognition away.
“Why draw attention to myself?” I’d think, “it’s just another opportunity for people to judge me.”
When we’re deeply insecure, we often feel safer in the shadows. The spotlight feels too bright, too exposing.
But what I’ve come to realize is that the spotlight isn’t as scary as it seems and that stepping into it can be empowering.
10) They are overly self-conscious
Whether it’s about the way I walk, talk, or even the clothes I’m wearing, I often find myself overly self-conscious when I walk into a room.
It’s as if I’m under a microscope, with every move being scrutinized and judged.
This heightened level of self-awareness can be paralyzing, making it difficult for me to act naturally or comfortably.
This hyper-awareness of self is a common trait among those who are deeply insecure.
11) They seek constant validation
When I am in a room, I find myself looking for signs of approval or affirmation from others.
A nod, a smile, a compliment – these become incredibly important to my sense of self-worth.
It’s as if I need external validation to confirm my worth and dispel the feelings of insecurity.
12) They leave early
Lastly, when I’m in a room full of people, I often find myself itching to leave early.
It’s not about disdain or boredom; rather, it’s the overwhelming desire to retreat to a space where I feel safer and less exposed.
Leaving early is a coping mechanism, an escape route from the discomfort and anxiety that social situations often trigger in those who are deeply insecure.
Insecurities are a part of the human experience; they’re an undeniable part of our emotional landscape.
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards understanding and addressing our insecurities. It’s about acknowledging that these actions are not reflections of who we truly are, but manifestations of our fears and doubts.
Remember, overcoming insecurities isn’t about eliminating them entirely – that’s an unrealistic expectation.
It’s about learning to manage them so they don’t control our behaviors and choices.
It’s about reclaiming our power from these doubts and fears, so we can walk into any room with confidence, authenticity, and a sense of self-worth.
Take small steps towards loving yourself every day – acknowledge your feelings, practice self-kindness, celebrate your achievements (no matter how small), forgive your mistakes, and most importantly, remind yourself that you are enough just as you are.