Am I obsessed or is this real love?

I hear you: you’ve recently met someone new and you can’t get enough of each other! 

Say, the thought of being apart makes you upset and seeing them with other people feels unimaginable. 

But how do you know if it’s real love?

It might not always be easy to tell: you could be obsessed with this person, which wouldn’t be fair to you or them…

Here are 7 signs to help you decide whether you’re obsessed, or if it’s real love!

1) You want to spend every moment together

First up on the list: you want to spend every moment together.

Isn’t this perfectly normal, though? I mean, haven’t you seen those couples on social media who show off their wonderful relationship through snapshots every day?

And maybe you’re one of those couples – don’t get me wrong, though, there’s no problem being lovey-dovey!

However, do ask yourself why you feel the need to broadcast your relationship to the world.

Do you want to express your happiness, or are you trying to overcompensate for something…maybe some deep feelings of insecurity?

2) You want to get serious right now

This is another sign that can help you tell if you’re obsessed or truly in love.

When you want to get serious right now, it’s a sign of commitment – and trust me, that’s hard to come by these days!

But you also need to stop and question yourself: are you choosing to commit to the person in front of you, or the idea of a perfect relationship and a perfect wedding?

It’s easy to get confused, and if you are, don’t beat yourself up about it!

And this brings me to my next point…

3) You frequently get jealous

…you frequently get jealous around your partner. Now, this is an important thing we need to talk about.

Jealousy may be normal in relationships, but only up to a point! When we feel secure with our partner and trust that we are loved, we rarely feel jealous.

Why is that?

Jealousy in relationships comes out of feeling like we aren’t being treated fairly. Say, your partner spends a lot of time with his friends and makes you feel left out sometimes!

In these cases, a simple conversation can do the trick:

“I think you aren’t showing me you love me these days. How can we reconnect?”

If it’s real love, your partner will feel sorry and reprioritize immediately – maybe they weren’t aware that they made you upset!

Other times – for example, if they accuse you of overthinking – you may be obsessed with them, and are seeing the relationship as perfect, when it really isn’t!

4) You are willing to make sacrifices 

Here’s how you can tell the difference between love and obsession: you are willing to make sacrifices – and this depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice and why.

This is another important thing we need to talk about, because sometimes, you may be the one doing all the sacrificing…

And your partner sits back and gains all the rewards!

If you’re in this situation, consider this: you may be obsessed with them and aren’t asking yourself if your relationship is a two-way street!

5) You think about them all the time

Another sign you may be obsessed with your partner is that you think about them all the time.

Well, let me preface this point by saying that this can be normal when you’re in love as well…

But here’s the difference: when you’re in love, you don’t feel like you’re being controlled by your thoughts.

What do I mean?

When you’re in love, you simply see these thoughts as a reminder of your commitment – but you can also push them away for the moment to focus on more important tasks.

If you’re obsessed, though, you may procrastinate on these tasks to think about how beautiful your love is, and when you’ll next see them…

Remember that there’s always a limit, and if you exceed it, it might be time to look deeper at what’s really going on.

6) You’re afraid to disappoint them

The next sign that can help you tell if you’re obsessed or truly in love is this: you’re afraid to disappoint them.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to want to be your best self for your partner…in fact, that’s a must! 

This allows you to give them the love they deserve and help the relationship grow.

But remember: if it starts to feel like a challenge to never show any weaknesses, you may be obsessed – and you’re afraid to disappoint them, just like you were afraid to disappoint a parent or a teacher!

7) You want nothing more than to see them happy 

Last but not least, here’s another sign to tell if you’re obsessed or in love: you go out of your way to make them happy.

Of course, in a relationship, nothing makes us happier than seeing our partner smile and we want them to be in that happy state all the time.

But here’s how you know you might be obsessed: when their happiness feels like it DEPENDS on you.

Let me explain why.

The above situation is a classic sign of a codependent relationship, where one person feels responsible for the feelings of the other person!

And not in a healthy way…this is only possible because that person is obsessed with their partner!

Without them, they feel like they couldn’t function. If this is you, it might be a good idea to sit down to reevaluate how much of yourself you’ve lost in this relationship!


Relationships are hard work; and when we find someone who wants to build a life together, we can get too obsessed with the idea of a fairytale romance!

At the end of the day, though, it’s important to remember that we’re all human. We’re not perfect.

When we get obsessed with the idea of a relationship instead of focusing on the person and the love we feel, things can get messy.

Always remember to be present, and to check yourself when everything feels a bit too good to be true!

Picture of Juliana Mei

Juliana Mei

Juliana Mei is a content writer and marketer who's passionate about finding the best way to position your brand to your audience. She finds joy in art, music and literature, and most importantly, through writing, which she hopes to inspire others by.

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