There are all kinds of relationships out there, and sometimes we get caught up in the idea of being in a romantic relationship when it’s not the right time, nor are we ready for a long-term commitment.
Recently, I spoke to someone who told me they’re constantly afraid of hurting the other person because of not having the desire or need to commit because they “might change” their mind.
They’re not alone.
If you like someone who is giving you mixed signals, here are 10 tips to help you cope!
1) Take your time
It’s okay to take your time.
If the guy you like seems unwilling to commit to a formal relationship but clearly shows that there is strong chemistry and wonderful energy between you, simply try to let things happen in their own time.
That is far better than rushing into something you won’t want in the long run.
Get to know one another better, because that can help you understand better what kind of relationship you want and need.
Show him slowly all your qualities and help him understand better what you are about.
Don’t get discouraged, though, if you don’t manage to attract his attention right away.
It’s very easy to get discouraged when the other person seems to like everything about you, but you don’t have a definitive answer about the type of relationship that you both are looking for.
Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment in this situation.
Be patient because what seems like a bad situation can improve with time, and it’s better to feel good inside than to rush into something that might lead you down the wrong path in life!
2) Be patient
We never know what the person across from us has been through.
Maybe there was some bad breakup, and the guy you like is just not ready to get into another relationship.
He is probably trying to see if he can trust you and establish a good relationship with you.
This often happens when a guy is afraid to get into yet another relationship because his ex cheated on him or treated him poorly.
Try to forget about the timelines and simply enjoy the moment.
This can be sometimes difficult, but if you keep in mind that after a while, you can be in a relationship with the guy that you like so much, it will make you feel more positive towards the situation.
If there’s no obvious indication that he’s ready to commit, simply treat him like a good friend and enjoy the moments you’ve spent together.
Don’t rush things or try to persuade him into a relationship or even anything at all, for that matter.
Just be yourself, be patient and wait for the right moment to come.
3) Open the lines of communication
If the guy you like is interested in seeing you, help keep the lines of communication open by talking to each other about your wants, needs, and desires.
So how can you make him completely infatuated with you?
Relationship expert Clayton Max explains that to get through to a guy, you can’t just convince him to be with you, you have to appeal to his deep, primal instincts.
And the easiest way to do this is by sending a number of powerful texts, which you can get by watching this free video.
4) Talk about it
Make a list of all the things you would like to know, and that would make you calmer when you actually speak to him about the type of relationship you can expect.
It will surely include lots of soul searching, which will help you get closer to the things you want.
Be very careful how you bring your questions into the conversation because asking bluntly will probably backfire and make him feel awkward.
This is certainly something you don’t need or want, so you can take your time in bringing it up casually if you don’t want to be pushy.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to mention it and have him think that you’re bothered by it because that can lead to him feeling pressured, simply talk about something else.
I know it sounds just as impossible as walking on a wire, but be confident and remember that he likes you, so he probably won’t mind talking about it.
5) Respect his boundaries
Get to know the guy you like and respect his boundaries. A guy who really likes you will not suddenly want to introduce you to his friends, family, and employees.
Don’t just ask him or force him to share information about himself or his past relationships if he does not wish to do so.
Pushing things will get you nowhere. Instead, simply be the best version of yourself, and keep in mind that he’s going to be more interested in you if he sees that you really care about him.
Show him that you like him and that you want to spend more time with him. If things work out for you, there might be more.
Keep in mind that the reason for being reluctant is not about you.
It can be something that he is going through at the moment that he is not ready to share with others.
6) Take care of yourself
Don’t sit around waiting for the guy you like to call or to ask you out or anything else for that matter.
You need to take care of yourself and make sure that you can be happy in your own life because when he does come around, he will surely be more interested in you if you’re a lot happier than before.
This might mean spending some time on new hobbies, getting more exercise or even doing something nice for yourself.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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You will be happier and more content with yourself which will surely reflect on the connection you have and the energy you share with the guy you like.
7) Think about your interests
Before going out with a guy, try to clear your head about who you really want to be in a relationship with.
This will help deal with any confusion on your part when he gets to be something different from what you were expecting.
You won’t feel 100% comfortable when he doesn’t match up and will doubt everything, so this can help avoid any issues between the two of you.
This will make it easier to look for common interests and get the guy that you like to see you as a person who would be interesting to spend time with, and not just like you physically.
Talk about things that you both can enjoy together, things that will make your life more exciting and fun.
When it comes to relationships, rushing through the “getting to know you” stage is a mistake that many people are guilty of making.
Although it might be hard and confusing, you should try to enjoy every moment of your connection before you jump into anything serious.
It is so easy to be drawn to someone we like, and it can be tempting to want to make things more serious right away, but remember that you will get to know the other person while they also get to learn more about you.
8) Be aware of what you want
If you’re hoping for a long-term relationship with this person, be careful that your own desires and expectations don’t color his behavior.
If you’re okay with just hanging out and having fun together, then perhaps there’s no need for him to commit right away.
There is a certain appeal about not being bound by any promises.
Sometimes people have the need to explore their desires and spend their time getting to know themselves through other people and their feelings.
This is nothing to worry about and can simply be a phase some people go through.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable about being involved in a casual relationship, make sure he knows it, so you can respect your feelings too but also give him a chance to act on it.
Sometimes when people are faced with the possibility of losing someone, they change their ways of behavior.
Protect yourself and show what you are willing to do and what you are not.
9) Be open to what he has to offer
If you like someone who is giving you mixed signals, you have to be open to his way of thinking and allow him the opportunity to express himself without any judgment or preconceived ideas about how things should or shouldn’t be.
At the end of the day, it’s about compromise and understanding that you’re both on the same page when it comes to the type of relationship you want.
If he feels good around you and feels that he can trust you, he will surely want to stick around. I learned this from one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology – Carlos Cavallo.
In this excellent free video, Carlos explains exactly what men want from a relationship and it’s actually quite simple:
They just want to feel good around the woman they’re with.
To find out how to do this, check out his free video here.
10) Be confident
One of the best things you can do is to be confident in yourself. The reason is that being confident will help you feel good about yourself, and this will reflect in your behavior, actions, and attitude.
Confidence is a vital part of making someone like you more.
If you’re lacking confidence in yourself, it’s highly likely that he isn’t going to be interested in getting to know you better if he sees that you are struggling with caring for yourself and protecting your interests in the best way possible.
Get to know yourself and your wants, needs, and desires, and then share that with him, which will make you realize that he likes you too, or else he won’t have any need or reason to get to know you better.
When you’re with someone you like, it’s important that you just be yourself, without having to think about what to say or how to act on every little thing.
Don’t let fear or nerves get in the way of your love life being fun, and remember that it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being a whole person who is interesting and self-confident.
Besides, confidence brings a sense of assurance and belief that makes the interesting qualities you have stood out and shine.
The good news is that there are lots of good reasons why it’s likely that the guy you like might not be interested in a relationship right now but is often around.
For example, he can’t commit because he’s never met the right woman or maybe he’s still single and seeking someone who’s really compatible with him and not just interested in having a relationship for the sake of having one.
It is up to you to show him that you are exactly what he needs.
The bottom line is this: if you want to make a guy who’s not in a relationship want you to be in one with him, the key is to simply love yourself and understand that he’s going to be more interested in you if he sees that you are emotionally secure and have a positive outlook on life.
In essence, the better you feel about yourself, the more attention he is going to pay you and more likely he will be to accept you as his potential girlfriend.
It is a fact that these are some of the best tips I’ve found on how to get a guy who’s not in a relationship to want you to be in one with him.
They are based on my own experience and also on the experience of other women as well.
It’s important that you take my advice into consideration but don’t just take my word for it.
You should also try out some of these ideas for yourself and see if they work for you.
Hopefully, you will manage to enjoy the connection you have and help him realize that you are what he needs!
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder