“Not ready for a relationship but still wants to see me.” – 8 tips if this is you

There are all kinds of relationships out there, and sometimes we get caught up in the idea of being in a romantic relationship when it’s not the right time, nor are we ready for a long-term commitment.

Recently, I spoke to someone who told me they’re constantly afraid of hurting the other person because of not having the desire or need to commit because they “might change” their mind.

They’re not alone.

If you like someone who is giving you mixed signals, here are 8 tips to help you cope!

1) Take your time

It’s okay to take your time.

If the guy you like seems unwilling to commit to a formal relationship but clearly shows that there is strong chemistry and wonderful energy between you, simply try to let things happen in their own time.

That is far better than rushing into something you won’t want in the long run.

Get to know one another better, because that can help you understand better what kind of relationship you want and need.

Show him slowly all your qualities and help him understand better what you are about.

Don’t get discouraged, though, if you don’t manage to attract his attention right away.

It’s very easy to get discouraged when the other person seems to like everything about you, but you don’t have a definitive answer about the type of relationship that you both are looking for.

Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment in this situation.

Be patient because what seems like a bad situation can improve with time, and it’s better to feel good inside than to rush into something that might lead you down the wrong path in life!

2) Be patient

We never know what the person across from us has been through.

Maybe there was some bad breakup, and the guy you like is just not ready to get into another relationship.

He is probably trying to see if he can trust you and establish a good relationship with you.

This often happens when a guy is afraid to get into yet another relationship because his ex cheated on him or treated him poorly.

Try to forget about the timelines and simply enjoy the moment.

This can be sometimes difficult, but if you keep in mind that after a while, you can be in a relationship with the guy that you like so much, it will make you feel more positive towards the situation.

If there’s no obvious indication that he’s ready to commit, simply treat him like a good friend and enjoy the moments you’ve spent together.

Don’t rush things or try to persuade him into a relationship or even anything at all, for that matter.

Just be yourself, be patient and wait for the right moment to come.

3) Talk about it

Make a list of all the things you would like to know, and that would make you calmer when you actually speak to him about the type of relationship you can expect.

It will surely include lots of soul searching, which will help you get closer to the things you want.

Be very careful how you bring your questions into the conversation because asking bluntly will probably backfire and make him feel awkward.

This is certainly something you don’t need or want, so you can take your time in bringing it up casually if you don’t want to be pushy.

On the other hand, if you don’t want to mention it and have him think that you’re bothered by it because that can lead to him feeling pressured, simply talk about something else.

I know it sounds just as impossible as walking on a wire, but be confident and remember that he likes you, so he probably won’t mind talking about it.

Still, if you feel you lack the confidence to talk to them about it, I’d suggest speaking to a professional relationship coach who can help you sort things out in your mind.

As a matter of fact, certified coaches at Relationship Hero are famous for offering tailor-made advice when people face challenges in relationships.

A while ago, I needed some help with improving my communication style with my partner and reached out to them.

I can’t tell you how surprised I was when they started offering practical solutions instead of plain talking.

So, if you want to receive professional advice about specific strategies you can use to talk to your partner about things that worries you, I suggest contacting these certified coaches.

Click here to check them out.

4) Respect his boundaries

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Get to know the guy you like and respect his boundaries. A guy who really likes you will not suddenly want to introduce you to his friends, family, and employees.

Don’t just ask him or force him to share information about himself or his past relationships if he does not wish to do so.

Pushing things will get you nowhere. Instead, simply be the best version of yourself, and keep in mind that he’s going to be more interested in you if he sees that you really care about him.

Show him that you like him and that you want to spend more time with him. If things work out for you, there might be more.

Keep in mind that the reason for being reluctant is not about you.

It can be something that he is going through at the moment that he is not ready to share with others.

5) Take care of yourself

Don’t sit around waiting for the guy you like to call or to ask you out or anything else for that matter.

You need to take care of yourself and make sure that you can be happy in your own life because when he does come around, he will surely be more interested in you if you’re a lot happier than before.

This might mean spending some time on new hobbies, getting more exercise or even doing something nice for yourself.

You will be happier and more content with yourself which will surely reflect on the connection you have and the energy you share with the guy you like.

6) Think about your interests

Before going out with a guy, try to clear your head about who you really want to be in a relationship with.

This will help deal with any confusion on your part when he gets to be something different from what you were expecting.

You won’t feel 100% comfortable when he doesn’t match up and will doubt everything, so this can help avoid any issues between the two of you.

This will make it easier to look for common interests and get the guy that you like to see you as a person who would be interesting to spend time with, and not just like you physically.

Talk about things that you both can enjoy together, things that will make your life more exciting and fun.

When it comes to relationships, rushing through the “getting to know you” stage is a mistake that many people are guilty of making.

Although it might be hard and confusing, you should try to enjoy every moment of your connection before you jump into anything serious.

It is so easy to be drawn to someone we like, and it can be tempting to want to make things more serious right away, but remember that you will get to know the other person while they also get to learn more about you.

7) Be aware of what you want

If you’re hoping for a long-term relationship with this person, be careful that your own desires and expectations don’t color his behavior.

If you’re okay with just hanging out and having fun together, then perhaps there’s no need for him to commit right away.

There is a certain appeal about not being bound by any promises.

Sometimes people have the need to explore their desires and spend their time getting to know themselves through other people and their feelings.

This is nothing to worry about and can simply be a phase some people go through.

On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable about being involved in a casual relationship, make sure he knows it, so you can respect your feelings too but also give him a chance to act on it.

Sometimes when people are faced with the possibility of losing someone, they change their ways of behavior.

Protect yourself and show what you are willing to do and what you are not.

8) Be confident

One of the best things you can do is to be confident in yourself. The reason is that being confident will help you feel good about yourself, and this will reflect in your behavior, actions, and attitude.

Confidence is a vital part of making someone like you more.

If you’re lacking confidence in yourself, it’s highly likely that he isn’t going to be interested in getting to know you better if he sees that you are struggling with caring for yourself and protecting your interests in the best way possible.

Get to know yourself and your wants, needs, and desires, and then share that with him, which will make you realize that he likes you too, or else he won’t have any need or reason to get to know you better.

When you’re with someone you like, it’s important that you just be yourself, without having to think about what to say or how to act on every little thing.

Don’t let fear or nerves get in the way of your love life being fun, and remember that it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being a whole person who is interesting and self-confident.

Besides, confidence brings a sense of assurance and belief that makes the interesting qualities you have stood out and shine.

Final thoughts

The good news is that there are lots of good reasons why it’s likely that the guy you like might not be interested in a relationship right now but is often around.

For example, he can’t commit because he’s never met the right woman or maybe he’s still single and seeking someone who’s really compatible with him and not just interested in having a relationship for the sake of having one.

It is up to you to show him that you are exactly what he needs.

The bottom line is this: if you want to make a guy who’s not in a relationship want you to be in one with him, the key is to simply love yourself and understand that he’s going to be more interested in you if he sees that you are emotionally secure and have a positive outlook on life.

In essence, the better you feel about yourself, the more attention he is going to pay you and more likely he will be to accept you as his potential girlfriend.

It is a fact that these are some of the best tips I’ve found on how to get a guy who’s not in a relationship to want you to be in one with him.

They are based on my own experience and also on the experience of other women as well.

It’s important that you take my advice into consideration but don’t just take my word for it.

You should also try out some of these ideas for yourself and see if they work for you.

Hopefully, you will manage to enjoy the connection you have and help him realize that you are what he needs!

Picture of Azra Jovicic

Azra Jovicic

I am Azra Jovicic and I love writing about psychology and wellness. I am just trying to make the sense of the world and share with others the things I’ve found out.

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