11 non-obvious signs a man wants to spend his life with you

I’d hope that your significant other is able to be frank with you using his words.

But I know – sometimes words can be deceiving. Sometimes they are just sounds strung together without actions to back it up.

Whatever it may be that inspired you to click on this article, there are certain non-obvious signs that indicate when a man wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

And when done with the right intentions with the right person who isn’t wasting your time, knowing these can help you better appreciate your partner and the relationship.

In the least they’ll help you leave a bum, here are 11 of those signs.

1) He is emotionally available

Before we get into everything else, a man who wants to commit to you for the rest of his life, has the capacity to do so.

Meaning, it’s not your fault or responsibility to convince him that he should.

Signs that he is mature enough from the get go to even fathom a serious relationship is how he deals with his emotions.

That will be evident in how he remains consistent, empathetic and respectful. As well as how he treats his own mental, physical and emotional health.

For example, he will be protective, not possessive. And you have to have the maturity as well to value this sentiment.

When he knows the difference between the two, it’s a huge sign that he’s capable of holding space for another – not just his own ego.

2) He takes his time to get to know you

A man who envisions a lifelong commitment to you is patient during the “talking stage.”

Not only for your benefit, but for his own benefit as well.

He will ask you about your values and take interest in your perspectives to make sure you’re a match. 

Your conversations will seldom be surface level when he genuinely wants to get to know you. This demonstrates a sincere desire to love you for your quirks and individuality. 

And the best part is that with the right person, you’ll never feel like you have to rush into anything.

3) He mirrors you

Another subtle sign is when he starts mirroring your behaviors and preferences.

Not only is this a sign that he has a healthy level of empathy, but also that he is willing to adapt to your emotional needs and perspectives.

That doesn’t mean he will agree with everything you say, but he will always meet you halfway.

Things between the two of you will often feel intuitive. And while communication is held to a high standard, it won’t always feel necessary.

Mirroring can also occur in the way he picks up on your quirks as his own. You guys might start dressing or speaking like each other.

It’s a sign that he feels deeply connected to you, and committed to making the relationship an integral part of his identity.

4) He remembers all the little details about you

A man who is genuinely interested in building a life with you will pay attention to all the small details.

Because he makes the effort, but also because he can’t help it!

Sure, the honeymoon phase is definitely temporary. 

But when a man sees you as a part of his future, he will also see you as someone who he can’t learn enough about.

This will be evident in the way he shows affection. All his gifts will have a personal touch, and the spark won’t seem to die down.

Making you feel special every time he remembers something about you that you forgot about!

5) He becomes more emotional

signs you've found your soulmate

There’s just something about love and commitment that can make the most stoic person into a poet. 

And the softest, that much softer.

So this will be a man who has changed to become more open about his inner world. Because he had the capacity to embrace change without it feeling like a threat to his masculinity.

Not to mention, there are just some things that seem corny or cringey until you get into a relationship – regardless of your gender!

Then suddenly, you feel like Ryan Gosling – in The Notebook, not Barbie.

6) He becomes more nurturing towards others

With a heightened appreciation for romance, comes a greater capacity to be nurturing towards others.

There is this toxic notion where a serious relationship means you have to value your significant other and no one else.

But in a healthy relationship where everyone feels secure within themselves, they will treat your friends, family and other loved ones with care.

If he is already caring, his warmth will deepen. 

And depending on the person, they may feel inspired to care for others in a humanitarian way!

It’s a sign that your relationship is healthy, and because it’s grounded in a stable foundation, longevity is simply a given.

And you’re often left with excess compassion that you’ll both want to share with others.

7) He is comfortable being vulnerable

A man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you will open up about his personal life.

Not only does he trust you will respond with love and empathy, but that you could hold his vulnerable side for as long as you both live.

This could mean he will take you to his childhood home, neighborhood, and in general share parts of himself that lead you both to be more attached.

This also includes meeting his close friends and family members!

Really observe the way he shares himself with you – he will be excited and grateful that he gets to include you to be a part of his life

And the vulnerability between you two will feel natural and not something forced to increase emotional intimacy.

8) He tells you about his long-term plans

Including financial ones.

It’s an obvious sign of commitment when a man talks about marriage, children or moving in together.

But one of the more subtle ones is when he openly discusses his financial matters.

For example, he will share his long-term financial goals with you. And have goals with you that you’ll have to work towards together.

I consider this to be a big step because for a lot of men, money is a huge factor in their identity. While it can be toxic, most times it’s just a byproduct of living in our society.

So when he is able to be honest about where he’s at, where he needs support and where he wants to be, it means he wants you to be a part of his growth.

As well as a sign that he is financially committed to the relationship.

9) He helps you better the quality of your life

couple red jacket 11 non-obvious signs a man wants to spend his life with you

Whether it’s emotionally, mentally or financially supporting you, you won’t have to beg or ask for it.

And I do agree that communicating your needs is important.

But sometimes openly asking and discussing how you can be supported early on can create a foundation for more intuitive communication in the future.

This is also about sharing responsibilities instead of pushing each other to be overly independent. He will value growing together more than his personal growth.

That means he’ll want updates and won’t get tired of listening to you talk about yourself. 

He will be patient with your growth because there’s no rush when forever is at the end of your relationship.

10) He takes interest in bettering your other relationships

A man who wants to spend his life with you acknowledges the importance of your other relationships.

And while the title suggests that he will want you to be around the best and only the best, he will not be controlling.

If you want to be with someone for the long haul, you can’t allow petty jealousies and insecurities to get in the way.

Instead, he will better your other connections by encouraging you to be yourself, be compassionate, and always seek love.

This demonstrates that he isn’t threatened or triggered by you being loved by your family or friends. But also that he is a positive influence in your life.

11) He’s willing to make sacrifices

Modern dating has been tainted to some level where we believe that compromise is a threat to our individuality.

But that’s a perspective that lacks foresight and long-term commitment.

When two people are mature enough to see the rest of their lives in one another, they’re able to ask themselves if a certain concern will matter in X amount of years.

That isn’t to say it can’t be talked about, but the way they go about it will be constructive.

So a man who is committed to you and knows it, will not avoid conflict. But he won’t be afraid to make sacrifices that make him feel less in control.

When it’s healthy, it will be a mutual effort of wanting the best for the other person, and not allowing your egos to overshadow who you guys truly are.

It takes time to find the right person to be non-obviously in love with

Because it takes time to discover what you truly need and who you truly are. Meaning dating is an experience that never lacks a lesson.

So be patient, and remember:

If he wanted to, he would!

And if he doesn’t want to, there will be someone who does.

In the meantime, get to know what matters to you so that you don’t get caught up in lessons that are only repeating themselves.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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